olympics Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wikipedia Already Has An Entry For The 2020 Olympics
There are two kinds of people I like to think I'm superior to even though I'm clearly not: Wikipedia writers and male gymnasts. With the former group it's because they're doing for free what I do for money, and with the latter it's because they wear tights. But then I read Wikipedia and see how good...

Special Olympic Perversity In Chicago
We don't mean to be scolding moralists here, but we're pretty sure this is an excellent way to get sent to Hell....

Vancouver Ready To Welcome More Weird-Ass Olympic Events
We had a crazy dream last night. The IOC was making up Winter Olympic sports, and approving them in their meeting in Kuwait City. Yeah we know, off the wall. But ... huh? You're kidding. Skicross?...

Kids And Darts! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
And so finally, we have the concept for the next Johnny Knoxville movie. The British Darts Organisation is campaigning for their sport to be included in the 2012 London Olympics; and to that end, they've opened the Darts School of Excellence in London. It's for for kids ages 7 to 18, as England atte...

Aei! The Olympic Mascots Are Back! Run For Your Lives!
Like childhood night terrors or the career of George Michael, we thought that we were done with The Five Friendlies for good; or at least until the 2008 Olympics. But no dice. China trotted out their satanic mascot goblins once again on Sunday while announcing the China Bowl, an NFL exhibition set...

What, All Flights To Utah Were Booked?
Whenever we blow $600,000 on blackjack and loose women, we know that it's time for another trip to Cuba. Olympic officials in Thailand recently had that same thought, as they packed off Olympic boxing champion Manus Boonjumnong to the balmy shores of North America's favorite island, with the notion ...

Mark Cuban Explains It All
Why can't the U.S. basketball team seem to win in international competition anymore? Leave it to Mark Cuban to unravel this mystery. It may shock you to learn that Cuban lays the blame directly on those damn pyramid-shaped lanes. Oh, and the international ball. And the way the referees are dressed. ...

Urine Taints Marion Jones' EPO Sample
The Washington Post is reporting that Marion Jones failed a drug test at the U.S. nationals earlier this year. The test turned up a little erythropoietin, or EPO, as the cool kids call it. If her 'B' sample turns up the same thing, she's looking at a two-year ban. I'll give you a few minutes to reco...

Does Anyone Want The 2016 Games?
We can't say we're all that disappointed, considering we are current residents, that New York City has abandoned its quixotic attempt to host an Olympic Games. After its 2012 bid fell flat on its bagel, the city is sitting out the next round; it is not among the three U.S. cities applying for the 20...

Curling The Way It Was Meant To Be Played: With Puppies
We heard you all during the Winter Olympics, making fun of the proud, storied sport of curling. It's been more than a week, and still you mock it. Yeah, us too. But now, curling has its revenge. Ever since finding this yesterday, we have done practically no work. Yes, it's Puppy Curling. Go on, tr...

Reconsidering Bode Miller
To Winter Olympics naysayers, there is no bigger symbol of the event's waste and piffle than Bode Miller, the much hyped U.S. skier who was on the cover of seemingly every national magazine yet came away from the Games without a single medal. Hell, he barely even finished a race....

Juicing Up The Olympics, Jedi Style
Not to get all Page 3 on you today, but we've been alerted to a rather amusing proposal for the 2014 Winter Olympics: Let's have it on the Ice Planet Hoth!...

Curling Like You've Never Heard It Before
We're going to go light on the Olympics today, because, well, they're over (and we're sure you're all pretty hungover from all the Closing Ceremonies parties last night), but we're giving you two, because they're the Olympics and therefore sports, we guess....

The Egalitarian Olympics
As the Olympic flame is extinguished this evening, a record twenty-six different countries won a medal in the 2006 Torino Games, including Slovakia and Latvia, who earned their first ever Winter Olympic medals. Eleven different countries won medals in the double-digits, which is also a record. I'...

Talented, Entertaining, and Dainty... it's Ted Ligety's MySpace
I'll be upfront with you. The entire MySpace craze is lost on me. I don't know why so many people have them, I don't know what they're for, I don't know what they do. But when a gold medal skier posts pictures of himself like that one, I become grateful for MySpace....

You May Have Helped Support Julia Mancuso's Training
Julia Mancuso earned a gold medal in the giant slalom yesterday, and, like many Olympians, she couldn't have done it without the support of her family, particularly her father Ciro Mancuso. "He came over when I was struggling a couple of years ago, arranged to get a car and a trainer in Austria, a...

Bode Miller Completes The 0-fer
Mercifully, it is over. The Nike marketing blitz, the ever-present stubble, the brooding stare designed to say, "Yes, ladies, I am that deep"... all gone. After today, it will probably be a while before we hear the name Bode Miller again. His 2006 Olympic games concluded with a whimper as he strad...

Sasha Cohen: Superstar!
We haven't stopped smiling since we first saw this last night — everyone's darling ice bunny, Sasha Cohen, is apparently even more full of herself than we were led to believe. That is, if the lip-reading ability of one of our readers is on the mark. And why shouldn't it be? Our readers have never ...

Olympic Lookalikes
An observant reader sent in the following Olympic lookalikes. First, Sasha Cohen and the girl from The Neverending Story:...

No, Since You Asked, I Don't Believe In Miracles
The dream has ended for the U.S. Olympic men's hockey team. They just lost in the quarterfinals to Finland, though it may have been the best hockey they've played yet, at least in stretches. Finland beat them 4-3....