olympics Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"The Olympics Suck Dogshit Through A Straw," Says Famous Genitals-Faced London Writer
As the 2012 Olympics draw near, our London correspondent will be filing semi-regular dispatches on life, culture, and Sport from the Big Smoke....

In Victory For Tokenism Everywhere, Qatar Will Send Two Women To The Olympics
For the first time, Qatar is including women on its 2012 Olympic team. A swimmer and a sprinter will represent the country in London, an announcement made (totally coincidentally, we're sure) on the same day Qatar's bid to host the 2020 Olympics was released. [AP]...

The Tongan Olympic Luger Who Turned Out To Be An Underwear Marketing Scam
Imagine if the events surrounding 1988 Jamaican bobsled team that inspired the film Cool Runnings happened today, in the age of the internet and 24-hour sports coverage. Now imagine one of those athletes, by pure chance, had been named Calvin Klein. And after his emergence on the international scene...

Ricky Rubio Talks Some Olympic Trash To Kobe Bryant: "You Know You're Getting The Silver Medal"
After the Laker game in Minnesota, Pau Gasol was catching up with countryman Ricky Rubio when Kobe Bryant strolled over. The friendly conversation, as transcribed by Complex:...

The US Women Won Two Games 27-0, And It Did Not Impress Brandi Chastain, So Hope Solo Fought Back
The US shredded its opponents in CONCACAF women's soccer Olympic qualifiers this week—14-0 over the Dominicans, 13-0 over Guatemala, and 4-0 over Mexico—but Brandi Chastain, the lady who's famous for this, was not impressed. She called the games for Universal Sports Network (it's not the one formerl...

Some Cop Left Security Plans For The 2012 Olympics On A London Commuter Train
After being found on Jan. 5, the secret dossier was given to The Sun newspaper, which gave it back to the police....

U.K.'s Royal Mint Releases Coin Explaining The Offside Rule
Now that 2012 is upon us, the U.K.'s Royal Mint is releasing 29 new coins, each featuring a different Olympic sport. Above is the soccer coin, the reverse of which contains a handy diagram explaining just what constitutes offside. The image "is designed to provoke discussion," but I think the real d...

What Do Usain Bolt And Juan Manuel Marquez Have In Common? They Train With The Same Admitted Steroids Dealer
On Saturday, Juan Manuel Marquez will step into the ring for a third time against Manny Pacquiao. This time around, Marquez—who's moving up in weight for the fight—has a new physique. He has retained the services of Angel Hernandez, the strength and conditioning coach who has been working with Jamai...

CNN Cuts Short Its Awkward Interview With John Carlos Because Of Technical Difficulties
Former Olympian and current human rights crusader John Carlos has a new book out with The Nation's Dave Zirin, which we excerpted last week. Carlos has been lending his support to the Occupy Wall Street movement, and this morning, CNN booked him for an interview with Kyra Phillips. The conversatio...

"An Olympics Without Black Athletes": Martin Luther King Jr., John Carlos, And The Boycott That Wasn't
John Carlos is best known as the man who, along with Tommie Smith, raised a clenched fist—the Black Power salute—on the medal stand after the 200 meter race. Carlos took bronze, and Smith gold, at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics. But that moment was a culmination of months of political discussion amon...

Olympic Sprinting Is Sexist Toward Men, Says Research Paper I Don't Fully Understand But Sounds Plausible
We knew that false starts in sprinting are triggered by a sensor in the starting block. What we did not know is that a false start can still be triggered if a runner breaks after the starting gun—anywhere up to a tenth of a second after. This is because, the thinking goes, the human nervous system c...

Streaking At The London Olympics Will Result In A $31,000 Fine
The harsh penalty is less about obscenity than the potential for free advertising on all that exposed flesh. "Olympic sponsors plough hundreds of millions of dollars into the quadrennial sporting extravaganza and organisers fear their investments being undermined." [NineMSN]...

Australian Swimmer Tries To Cover Up Skateboarding Injury With False Hit-And-Run Claim, Fails
"Olympic swimmer Kenrick Monk has tearfully admitted to inventing a story about being the victim of a deliberate hit-and-run car incident. In a blow to his chances of representing his country again, Monk, 23, revealed he had broken two bones in his elbow while skateboarding on Wednesday. At the ti...

Paul Hamm Is Just Another Unemployed Drunk Male Gymnast Now
The Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm has been fired from his assistant coaching position at The Ohio State University, following his arrest for assaulting a cab driver in Columbus last Saturday....

Here's The Dash Cam View Of Olympic Gymnast Paul Hamm's Drunken Arrest In Ohio Last Weekend
Paul Hamm, the gymnast who won a gold medal in the Athens Olympics back in 2004, was arrested in Ohio last weekend for allegedly assaulting a cab driver. Or, if you'd prefer the Daily News version of this story, he "vaulted into jail over Labor Day weekend after cops said he worked over an Ohio ca...

The U.S. Is Not Even Trying To Host The Olympics Anymore
"America's next chance to host an Olympics would be the 2022 Winter Games. Denver and the Reno/Tahoe area have expressed interest, though the USOC would put the same caveats on a bid for those games—that there would be no attempt unless the revenue-sharing deal is worked out and the relationship wit...

Drunkenly Pissing On The 11-Year-Old Daughter Of A Cancer Patient Will Cost You A Shot At The Olympics
And we can all thank Robert Vietze for teaching us that valuable lesson. Vietze, 18, literally pissed away his spot on the U.S. Ski Team during a red-eye flight from Portland to New York this week. Shorty after takeoff, Vietze staggered five rows in front of him and just started whizzing on the leg...

Making And Remaking History In Olympics-Addled Beijing
Adapted from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, available at your favorite bookseller....

British Beach Volleyball Players To Put Barcode Ads On Their Butts
No, seriously. And it's for a gambling company. From London's Daily Mail:...

If Synchronized Swimming Doesn't Get You Hyped For The London Olympics, We're Not Sure What Will
The London Olympics will kick off exactly one year from today, and to build excitement for the next 365 days of unbridled anticipation, organizers and leaders gathered in the brand new Aquatics Center to watch a group of... synchronized swimmers? Well, there was also a commemorative foot molding a...