on Page 6352 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Signing Off, For Now
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....


Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...

Down Goes Favre! (Kind Of, Not Really)
Of all the possible scenarios going into last night's Epic And Unwatched De Facto NFC Championship Game, the one we hadn't considered involved Brett Favre getting hurt and pulled in the second quarter. The only scenario less likely was Aaron Rodgers actually bringing the Packers back ... and that al...

About Last Night
What you missed while putting a special hamper in the bathroom for shirts, with the other one for socks and poo-poo undies ... • NFL: It goes to 11 ... RomoCop leads Cowboys over Packers 37-24. • College football: The Honeymooners ... Art Carmody kicks Louisville to 41-38 win over Rutgers. • NHL: An...

The Biggest Game Millions Can't Watch
We don't blame Jerry Jones — seen here hugging Brett Favre after a Packers-Cowboys game from years past; you can tell it was a while ago, because you can't see Jones' skull — for not understanding that not every football fan can just switch from Time Warner (which doesn't carry the NFL Network and ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you decorate your drunken Christmas moose ... • College football: Rutgers at Louisville. You've got some red on you. [ESPN] • College basketball: Oregon at Kansas State [ESPN2]; Oklahoma at Southern California [FSN]. West Coast meets Midwest in classic culture clash. • College women...

The Patriots Need A Theme Song
Determined to ruin a good thing, the Boston Globe somehow decided that the Patriots need a theme song. The easy way to do this would be to search through Tom Brady's iTunes folder until something clicks (Huey Lewis and the News!), but no, the Globe is putting it up to a vote. Poems, slogans and Chri...

It's Almost As If NBA Players Aren't That Discerning In Their Groupie Choices
Our friends at Gawker occasionally record random TV shows during the week, and they came across this episode of "Tyra." Apparently this is a show....

The NL's Best Pitchers Hunt And Hit College Bars Together
When we were the sports editor at the Daily Illini, Illinois head coach Lou Henson and his wife Mary invited us into their home, and we drank hot tea and ate chocolate on their porch while we discussed Jerry Hester, Kiwane Garris and next year's team. We are realizing today that we were sports edi...

SHOTY First Round: Pac Man Jones Vs. Norby!
Every single SHOTY first-round matchup has been a blowout. We are not sure this will be any different; the Deadspin Planet is of one mind these days....


Jamboroo, Week 13: Where The F—k Are My December NFL Saturdays?
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

A Quarterback Duel For The Ages
• Eli Vs. Rex: The battle begins. [The Sports Hernia] • An LSU-Michigan bowl game could be pretty fun. [Simon On Sports] • Marshawn Lynch, poet. [Sports Biotch] • The Knicks-Celtics game tonight has a fascinating broadcasting crew. [The Howeva Files] • Just how bad is Gene Upshaw? [The Bleacher Repo...

The Rays Want You To Walk The Plank
In case you haven't seen it yet, right there's the blueprint for the new Tampa Bay Devil Rays stadium. It's a $450 million pirate ship. And, of course, the team currently has no plan to pay for it. Pretty, though ... we guess....

Theismann-Kimmel, BFF
Speaking of MNF ... We can't say our mouths were necessarily watering over a potential Jimmy Kimmel-Joe Theismann feud, but breathe easy, America: Theismann's not mad about Kimmel's crack about him on "Monday Night Football."...

Has Kornheiser Already Had Enough Of This MNF Business?
After all the battling ESPN and Norby! have done to make sure Tony Kornheiser is as comfortable in the "Monday Night Football" booth as possible — which is to say, "not very comfortable" — we can't imagine the Bristol folks are doing backflips over the rumors from DC this morning that say Kornheiser...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning for its wittiest, hardest-hitting, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......