on Page 6442 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Suddenly, There Just Aren't Enough Hockey Tickets To Go Around
With every story about the NHL seemingly existing only to make fun of it, here's a good one: The Sabres-Penguins game, scheduled for New Years Day at Ralph Wilson Stadium, sold 42,000 tickets in 25 minutes. We might question the wisdom of having a huge event like that on a day dominated by college f...

Mike Ditka, Socratic Orator
Yesterday, a group of retired athletes, along with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA wingnut Gene Upshaw, testified before Congress about the lack of sufficient benefits for former NFL players. This is a noble cause — a lot of these guys can barely walk — but one that we suspect is not helpe...

And With One Torch, A Child's Dreams Are Lost
Nothing's funnier than hearing a child scream "Nooooooo!" This guy's gonna make a great quarterback's dad someday....

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Hall of Famer Joe Morgan: Leave Joe Morgan alone! It's just a few factual errors ... he's a human being! (sob!). Leave him alone ... • 1 p.m. NHL with Scott Burnside: Does hockey have a don't ask, don't tell policy? • 2 p.m. Ba...

Topless Ping Pong, Your Time Is Now
If you're like us here at Deadspin, attending topless ping pong tournaments is not only a hobby, it's a way of life. But the last thing you expect is that ESPN will be on hand to televise one of the events. If you pan the crowd, I demand that my face be blurred! But 100 Percent Injury Rate asks the ...

The Taser Kid Has Unsurprising Tastes
By now, you've heard all about the University of Florida student who broke up Sen. John Kerry's speech and totally didn't want to get Tasered, bro. Well, here's something you might not know about Mr. Andrew Meyer: He's actually a big sports fan, with his own sports blog. You can probably guess his t...

OJ Simpson Is Unbreakable
Our favorite thing about this whole O.J. Simpson business is that he seems legitimately unconcerned about any of these charges, despite the fact that he's been in jail for a few days and will be arraigned on six felonies today. He's whistling dumb songs, he's making "what happens in Vegas staying in...


The Knicks Know How To Handle A Problem
The Isiah Thomas sexual harassment case updates will come earlier today, mainly because we really can't get over just how Cro-Magnon Madison Square Garden appears to be as a place of business. We know a couple of women who work over there ourselves, actually, and we want to tell them to get the hell...

The Yankees 2 1/2 Games Back? Inconceivable!
Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance wi...

About Last Night
What you missed while ... Nibbles? ... Nibbles, NOOO! • MLB: Teh Phillies R in ur Pennut race, brakin yr Metz! • Minor League Baseball: Rivercats Triumphant ... All bow before Lou Merloni! • NFL: Tank Johnson lumbers into Big D. At last T.O. has a roommate....

Isiah Thomas Is A Cunning Linguist
Considering all that's going on in the Isiah Thomas harassment trial, we find it difficult to keep up. If we aren't careful, we'll make every post about it. Anyway, here's yesterday's highlights, with more, surely, to come tomorrow....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you finally extricate your flamingo ... • Minor League Baseball: Class-AAA Championship Game, Bricktown Showdown, Richmond vs. Sacramento, at Oklahoma City. Braves vs. Rivercats, for the glory, and the money. But mostly the glory. [ESPN2] • MLB: Red Sox at Blue Jays. Boston kind ...


Carr Surely Has Lots To Contribute In This Friendship
We're still a little bewildered by the fact that Russell Crowe was on the sidelines for Michigan's win over Notre Dame on Saturday. We don't understand why he cares so much about American collegiate football, first off, but mostly ... this guy is really friends with Lloyd Carr?...

Introducing The Las Vegas Pants Party
We had a grand time at the Seattle Pants Party this weekend — and we once again thank 950-KJR in Seattle for setting so much up for us — but just because the baseball season is coming to an end doesn't mean that the Pants Parties are over. In fact: Vegas, people....

A Completely Unfair Shot At Steve Phillips
Just because it's always fun to make fun of Steve Phillips, here's a look at some of his outstanding August predictions....