ouch Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Leonys Martín Hits Dong, Then Hits Dong
Leonys Martín led off today’s Tigers-Pirates game with a big home run, but it came at a price. On the fourth pitch of the game, Martín ricocheted a pitch off the plate into his dick and balls. He rolled around for two minutes afterward and had a hard time standing back up....
Stadium Steward Has Organ Removed After Wayward Free Kick Murders His Spleen
In a Serie A match on Sunday, Inter winger Antonio Candreva tried to send the ball screaming into the upper corner of Torino’s goal. Instead, he sent a stadium steward screaming into the hospital when his errant shot flew over the crossbar, smashed into the unsuspecting steward’s back, and ruptured ...
Tony Finau Fucked Up His Ankle While Celebrating A Hole-In-One At The Masters Par-3 Contest
Tony Finau, ranked No. 34 in the world, showed out at the Masters Par-3 contest with a very slick hole-in-one, which he immediately followed up by suffering some sort of gross-looking ankle injury while celebrating. ...
Have A Better Friday Than This Guy
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Russell Martin Makes A Cool Catch, Trips, Falls, Gets Hit In The Face
Spring training is for trying your absolute hardest—up to but not inclusive of any effort that might land you on the DL for Opening Day. Blue Jays catcher Russell Martin very nearly tried too hard today. ...
Look Out!!!
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Jury Finds USTA Liable For Eugenie Bouchard's Slip And Fall In U.S. Open Locker Room
Eugenie Bouchard, currently ranked No. 116 in the world, was a top-five tennis player once upon a time. Rewind back to her 2014 season, when she reached the Australian Open and French Open semifinals, then the Wimbledon final, and surged to a career-high No. 5. Her success slowed in 2015, but in Sep...
France's Kevin Rolland Takes Brutal Fall During Men's Halfpipe Final
Kevin Rolland of France suffered an especially nasty fall during the freestyle skiing men’s halfpipe final, landing right on the lip of the pipe and crashing in hard before tumbling backwards....
Olympic Ski Racer Taken Away On Stretcher After Nasty Crash
Canadian ski cross racer Chris Del Bosco fought gravity and lost during a qualifying heat, losing control at the worst moment and catapulting some 30 feet down the course and landing hard on his right side....
Lead Car's Dumbass Automatic Braking System Causes Painful Crash At Bike Race
Cars with automatic brake sensors built into them are wonderful when used in cities and other places where they can keep unaware drivers from killing cyclists. However, a bike race’s lead car is perhaps the worst possible vehicle for the technology, and five cyclists were the unfortunate victims of ...
An Austrian Snowboard Racer Broke His Neck And Finished His Race Anyway
Markus Schairer was in fourth position heading towards the penultimate jump of the first quarterfinal of men’s snowboard cross when something went wrong that caused his board to get out from under him. Schairer flailed in the air, then came down hard straight on his back, breaking his fifth cervical...
UFC Vet Joe Lauzon Ruptured One Of His Teammate's Testicles In Training
UFC newcomer Devin Powell had to undergo surgery yesterday after Joe Lauzon busted him in the dick and balls with the “sheer power” of an unintentional knee during training. Powell’s all good, ball-wise, though he’ll need to recover for a bit....
Curling Is A Contact Sport
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Have A Better Day Than This Guy
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MMA Fighter Knocks Himself Out Trying To Throw His Opponent Down
At last night’s CES 48, Timothy Woods secured a leg lock on Tim Caron and tried to toss him to the mat. He succeeded in doing so, only the thing is, he misjudged the landing and speared himself onto the mat, neck first....
Kangaroo Destroys Cyclist
Today in news from Australia: A kangaroo leapt out of a bush and took out a cyclist, who was reportedly going about 18 mph. There’s video:...
Aaron Pico's Body Punch KO Was Audible And Absolutely Brutal
Aaron Pico is immune to boring fights. He’s fought three times, and each time, someone was getting peeled off the mat to the collective horror of the audience. (The first time, it was him.) Pico is one of the biggest prospects in the sport, owing largely to his impressive showing at the 2016 Olympic...
Eagles Win, 38-7
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Kris Dunn Dunks, Smashes Face
Kris Dunn finished off a fourth-quarter dunk against the Warriors tonight by losing his grip on the rim and crashing to the floor, where he landed face-first on the court and ended up bloody:...