ouch Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Getting Friendly With the Swedes
The United States Men's National Team is back in action tonight at 8:30 in an international friendly against Sweden, and that means good soccer and sexy women. Tonight's contest is being held in Carson, California, so we're going to be in for a heavier dose of the puritanical American fans. Since w...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you finally get those tiger taunters to confess ... • NBA: Portland at Miami, (7 p.m., ET); Golden State at Chicago (9:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN]. Let's all put on our Baron Davis beards and settle in. • Tennis: Australian Open, early rounds, Melbourne (10 p.m., ET and 3:30 a.m., ET). W...
About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...
Canadian Football Has Strange Celebrations
Click to view I'm just going to sit back and let the video speak for itself. Sometimes a Saturday afternoon just isn't complete without a video of some schmuck getting hit in the balls with a football. Via College Humor...
Why In The WORLD Do We Root For This Team?
OK, we think we're ready to talk about that horrific Buzzsaw loss yesterday. First off, we absolutely deserved that to happen: Our post last week daydreaming about the playoffs broke every Buzzsaw fan law we know. No Arizona team should ever be favored by 10 1/2 points. Ever....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...
Good Game ... Good Game ... Good Game ... Owwwww!
The postgame handshake is one of amateur sports' grandest rituals, with combatants coming together to congratulate each other on a contest well played. It's also a great time, if you're a jerk, to play pranks, particularly ones involving knives....
Another Great Painful Sports Home Video
We were talking to someone yesterday about why homemade videos were so compelling, even when nothing all that exciting happens in them. We think it's because, from the second we start watching, we get the sense that the people involved in the video think there's nothing interesting about their video...
Way To Fire Up The Troops
This is what happens when you sign up obsessive compulsive cheerleaders; those banners can never ... quite ... be clean ... enough....
One Way To Give The QB Happy Feet
When you're in high school, pranks are pretty much the only thing worth doing, save for maybe masturbation. And when you can combine that with football rivalries, you've got a recipe for happiness. Until the cops come....
Dennis Miller is Coming And It Seems There's Nothing We Can Do About It
Hey there kemosabe it's me, Dennis Miller. While it's true that I've had more shows than the original Broadway run of Cats, I really don't see how one more is going to hurt. Hair plugs aren't cheap, OK babe? So pull up a footstool and check out the promo for my latest offering, Sports Unfiltered wi...
Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...
Roll Over And Die Like A Champion
We're not sure if we can contribute that much more to the pile-on that has become discussion of the 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish and coach Charlie Weis ... but we're gonna try....
Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...
Hugh Johnson's Hangover
Yep, college football is back for real. There was a an exciting, competitive, and meaningful game last night and some forward thinker actually televised it! Cal finished off their two year home-and-home against Tennessee in style with a 45-31 victory. The game offered up a showcase for those who lov...
Time To Bust A Move With The West Virginia Power
Time to check in on the world of minor league baseball with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
What's The Next Scrotum-Ripping Situation To Happen Between Rival Sports Fans?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....