out Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...

NBA Players Have Been Advised Not To Say They Have More Money Than You Do
In anticipation of a public-relations battle between the NBA players' association and the owners, the union has provided players with a handbook that includes a recommendation that they avoid hilarious pleas of poverty. Because apparently Kenny Anderson's famous declaration during the last labor st...

David Price Has 12 K's Through Five Innings Against The Blue Jays. You Should Probably Watch.
Via ESPN Stats & Info: "David Price: 12 K through 5 IP. That matches what Clemens had through 5 IP in each of his two 20-K 9-IP games and 1 more than Wood thru 5 IP."...

Arian Foster Really Does Not Care About Your Fantasy Team
Foster, last season's rushing champion, tweaked his left hamstring in last night's 49ers-Texans preseason game. He hurt the same hamstring earlier in camp. He appreciates your concern about his semitendinosus, unless you are concerned simply because of your fantasy team....

Youth Football Coach Gets Tased Three Times After Choking A Kid, Police Find A Lot Of Ammo In His Car
Here's how Corriher-Lipe Middle School head football coach Douglas Pruitt explains what happened between assistant coach Jared Gallagher and a 12-year-old player this week in Rowan County, N.C.:...

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The 2011 Football Outsiders Almanac
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12 or order the book for $21.95....

The Only Thing Worse Than A Drake Song Is A DeJuan Blair Cover Of A Drake Song
Unlike his NBA brethren, who are working at the local Home Depots, assistant coaching at Division I schools, and throwing down in local leagues, Spurs forward DeJuan Blair is apparently spending his extended off-season recording covers of terrible pop songs that are a mere two months old....

Presenting Slo-Mo Video Of A Little League Player Taking A Baseball To The Face
Your morning roundup for Aug. 20, the ninth day that Delonte West will wake up hoping Home Depot calls. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video from California's 11-0 win over Rhode Island H/T Shaun B). ...

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

Listen To A Lady In A White Bikini Describe How She Handled A 56-Incher
Meet Brenna Burley of Grand Rapids, Minn. She was a virginal sturgeon fisherwoman when she went out, pole in hand, with her boyfriend. He got a bite, but told Ms. Burley she could reel this one in. A 10-minute fight ensued....

Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

Youth-Baseball Umpire In Missouri Claims Pitcher, Catcher Conspired To Hit Him With A Pitch
In the fifth-inning of a big 18-and-under Mac-N-Seitz Midwest Championships and Showcase baseball game, home plate umpire Kyle Reynolds detected shenanigans were afoot. They were the sort of shenanigans in which a catcher allegedly jumps out of the way of a pitch so it strikes the umpire behind hi...

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....

Here's Video Of Michael Beasley "Mushing" A Fan At A New York City Park Last Night
We learned a new word today: mushing. A mush is when a person puts a hand directly onto another person's face and pushes him or her backward. Minnesota's Michael Beasley "mushed" a heckling fan at New York City's Dyckman Park last night. The incident is not expected to help his job security....

Pro-Owner Lockout Site Returns To The Underworld, To Wake Again In A Decade
Today, a new NFL collective bargaining agreement was finalized and quickly ratified by player vote, officially ending the NFL lockout. It's a banner day for fans, but a sad day for NFLLabor.com, the official state mouthpiece of the league....

Cristiano Ronaldo Could End Up Being Seized By The European Central Bank
The financial situation in Europe is so screwed up that soccer players are being used as collateral. Bankia, a troubled seven-month-old Spanish banking group, is trying to shore up capital by going public and getting a big loan from the European Central Bank, the EU's equivalent of the Federal Reser...

OK, This Might Be One Of The Least Likely Sports Fetishes Of All Time
Turned on yet? This is just one of a huge collection of videos of women's soccer players spitting. That's all. Not playing. Not celebrating. Just spitting. The fact that they're clearly filmed directly off the TV screen makes it even creepier....

Fan Who Wore That LeBron Heat Jersey To An Indians Game Last Summer In Serious Condition After Attack
"Matthew Bellamy was attacked at about 3 a.m. Monday in the 2000 block of Oldgate Road, Sandusky police said. Witnesses told police that Bellamy, 30, didn't fight back when Robert Horton, 23, jumped out of a car and hit him three times." [Sandusky Register]...

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....