out Page 169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Science Throws Little League A Curveball
Little Bobby throws a curveball and, soon, he whines about a sore elbow. He blames it on his fledgling 12-to-6, but Little Bobby is just craving sympathy. Hate the player, not the game, Bobbo. It's science....
Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
Bill Simmons Shapes Young Minds
The Sports Fella recommended one young reader attend Dartmouth over Princeton (via his ever-popular "Mail Bag"). Amazingly, the young lad listened to him. Yep, this is our next generation. [IvyGate]...
USF Kicker Nominates Self For Darwin Award With Theme Park Mishap
It's the kicker-gets-injured story that has everything: a second-rate Florida football school, a second-rate Florida theme park, and a totally preventable injury that's not too serious to make fun of him....
Rick Morrissey Uses Dead Baseball Scribe As A Soapbox For Blog Rant
Here's a thoroughly obnoxious column by the Chicago Tribune's Rick Morrissey in which he picks up the corpse of Jerome Holtzman and swings it in the general direction of — what else? — the blogosphere....
The Bizarre World Of Children’s YouTube Videos
Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer....
Leitch And Drew On Vomiting, Dipping, Commenting, Simmons, And Other Essentials
Your Deadcast guest this week is Leitch. It's a nice departure from all those weeks of talking to, you know, interesting people. HEY-O!!!!...
Breaking: Joe Morgan Tells The Truth!
America's baseball uncle was tellin' tales again last night — something about a long slump and a home run he hit off Nolan Ryan — and for once, his story is supported by those ever-pesky computer numbers. [MLB Insights]...
In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...
Wardrobe Malfunction Costs Swimmer Race, A Little Bit Of Dignity
Italian Olympian Flavia Zoccari was disqualified from a race yesterday after her swimsuit literally tore her a new butthole. That's not going to sit well back home, but hopefully it will all work out in the end. [DailyMail, via Slanch]...
Leading By Example, One Headbutt At A Time
Youth baseball coaches choose from an array of options in the post-game handshake line. They can: shake hands (classy), fist-bump (terroristic), feign ignorance (juvenile) or headbutt the rival coach in the face in front of minors (aggravated assault). [Star-Ledger]...
Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...
The Egyptian Soccer Whore Debate Rages On
So the South African police retracted their statement about the ladies of the night but still haven't arrested any hotel staff? Allah punished Egypt with a loss because they're "unclean?" Egyptian players demand apology from South Africa?...
The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....
Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "I know a cat named Way Out Willy."...
Flip Your Way To Internet Stardom
The first is the "bat trick" of Long Beach Armada outfielder Josh Womack doing ... something ... with his bat. The odd thing about this one is that it's been online for over a month and there's a different video of him doing the same thing from over a year ago, yet this week is when it somehow decid...
Joe Morgan Clarifies One Fib, Possibly Tells Another
As you know, Joe Morgan, the human sic, told a bit of a stretcher during last Sunday's broadcast. Yesterday, he clarified the matter in a way only Joe Morgan could. By maybe lying again....
Shockingly, No One Was Seriously Injured During Deadspin Bar Crawl
Last Saturday we invited our New York readers to join us for a Subway Series bar crawl, sponsored by the wonderful hombres at Corona. We drank, watched baseball, and awkwardly socialized with people from the internet. So really it was like any other Saturday, except I put clothes on and actually lef...
It Wasn't So, Joe
Top of the eighth. Cliff Lee has just given up his first hit of the game to the Cardinals, a double to right. Up in the booth, Joe Morgan decides to tell a story. You know where this is going....