out Page 186 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed as Michigan fans got some unexpected good news ... • College basketball: Vanderbilt gets its Shan on, 86-85 over Mississippi State in OT. • NBA: Yeah, the Rockets are really missing Yao Ming. • NFL: Browns sign Shaun Rogers to $42 million deal. Let's see, that's about $10,000 per pou...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while realizing that the deadlocked Democrats are going to have to turn to Al Gore, and that this was his evil plan all along ... • College basketball: The Big Ten standings are in chaos! Ohio State 80, Purdue 77. • NHL: Sidney's back! Penguins 2, Lightning 0. • NBA: Why doesn't Pau ...
About Last Night
What you missed while reading the new children's book Felix Pie and the Twisted Testicle ... • NHL: Wait, 10-2? WTF, Bruins?? • College basketball: Check out the quote in paragraph four. Mmmm, meat necklace ... Kansas 109, Texas Tech 51. • The New Deal ... Now Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger can afford...
About Last Night...
What you missed while stocking up on Postum......
If Wilt's 100-Point Game Were Modernized
As we conclude another lazy "Baked Doritos and curling on TV" Sunday, we remember that 46 years ago was the night Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points against the New York Knicks (snerk) in a game. And the Dayton Daily News poses a good question: how would it be covered today? Oh, there's nothing bett...
About Last Night...
What you missed while starting a global lemon wedge scare ... • NBA: Michael Redd just says no to free throws, Spurs win 96-94. • NHL: Everyone duck, here comes Phil Kessel. Bruins top Thrashers in shootout, 3-2. • NASCAR Nationwide Series: Promising up-and-comer Mark Martin wins in Las Vegas....
About Last Night...
What you missed while ordering a refill of penis reduction pills... • NBA: Where is your Pau now? Blazers defeat Lakers 119-111. • NHL: Former Cardinals outfielder Setoguchi scores winning goal as San Jose beats Detroit 3-2. • MLB: Juan Gonzalez homers off ... Johan Santana? I know it's only spring ...
About Last Night
What you missed while ... is that a PLEDGE PIN? On your UNIFORM??! ... • NBA: Lakers win 10th straight, but does it count if it was against the Heat? • MLB: Dodgers beat Braves in Torre's debut, causing Alyssa Milano to jump up and down and squeal with delight. Welcome back, baseball. • College bask...
About Last Night
What you missed while taking Will to the airport in a rickshaw ... • College women's basketball: Vivian Stringer joins the 800 Club. Don Imus apologizes out of habit. • NBA: LeBron's milestone doesn't impress the Celtics all that much. • NHL: Not tonight, I have a Paddock ... just wanted to say that...
About Last Night
What you missed while overdosing on charm ... • College basketball: Yes, we called this, but anyone could see it coming a mile away. Vanderbilt 72, Tennessee 69. • Politics: Newsweek's Howard Fineman likened Tuesday's Democratic debate to an Ali vs. Frazier fight. Hmm, I don't recall Frazier wearing...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the funniest thing that Jimmy Kimmel has ever done ... • NHL: Fearless Forsberg returns to Avalanche, and all it took was $5 mil. Yay! • College basketball: Texas cannot be stopped, by anyone, ever. (May not apply to postseason play). • NFL: Michael Strahan considers r...
About Last Night
What you missed while listing all the stuff that white people like ... • NBA: New Kids On The Block ... who are those guys? Cleveland 109, Memphis 89. • College basketball: On Wisconsin ... Badgers relax atop Big Ten standings. • NFL: The Vikings can get into trouble on dry land too....
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering when SNL's Obama character is going to be funny... • Boxing: Klitschko made Ibragimov his jab eating bitch for 12 rounds. It could have been a bit more entertaining. • NBA: Apparently the Lakers are the best team in Los Angeles. Stupid Clippers. • CBB: Tennessee is th...
About Last Night
What you missed while serving as a seat filler on Cleveland's bench... ...
About Last Night
What you missed while reading the top 50 children's books of all time ... • College basketball: Volunteers vs. Tigers ... the state of Tennessee can no longer contain the hype, must outsource some to India. • NFL: The end of the Randy Moss Era in New England may be nigh. • NHL: News for the herring ...
About Last Night
What you missed while drinking wine on the honor system ... • NBA: Baron Davis drinks your milkshake ... Warriors 119, Celtics 117. • Golf: Tiger Woods is a remorseless killing machine. • NFL: Colts give Dallas Clark 6-year contract; he drops it....
Attention Terrell Owens: Help Is On The Way
So a guy in Brazil, not content with the normal tattoo options in his area, has had octopus suction cups grafted onto his arms. Cool! My guess is that Belichick has already made this required surgery for all of his receivers; and Derek Jeter is looking into it as well. Whereas Ichiro Suzuki just lo...
About Last Night
What you missed while typing something you don't remember typing. Why, it was as if an occult hand had reached out and taken control of your keyboard ... • College basketball: Hoosiers circle the wagons, subdue Boilermakers. • Politicking: Obama win streak reaches 10; McCain cruises; Leitch a disapp...
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing to run for president of Cuba ... • College basketball: Texas wins big against Texas A&M, which is going to cause you to pick them to reach the Final Four in your NCAA Tournament office pool, which is one of the reasons you're going to lose again. • NHL: Red Wings beat...