out Page 196 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...
About Last Night
It's official: The animal revolt has begun ... • Motor City Bowl: The Boilermakers are on us. Purdue 51, Central Michigan 48. • NBA: The post-Scott Skiles Era in Chicago begins pretty much as you expected it might. • College basketball: Eddie Sutton is back. No, seriously, he's coaching again. Dude,...
Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....
Herman Edwards' Coors Light Commercial
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
About Last Night
What you missed while tracking tiny infant Jesus via satellite ... • NBA: And up on the rim there arose such a clatter, I awoke from my coma to see what was the matter. Lakers 122, Suns 115. • Brett Favre wins USSA Male Athlete of the Year, narrowly beating Tom Brady and Nightmare Ant ... • Horse ra...
About Last Night
What you missed while coughing up tinsel ... • NFL: Every time a bell rings, a Washington Redskins player gets his wings. • College football: Rock, a hula-baby, rock ... East Carolina 41, Boise State 38 • NHL: Boss Hossa ... Thrashers 3, Blues 2....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while perusing fake Craigslist ads... • 8:00 p.m. — Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. It's so inconvenient to have to bring your own blue paint on road trips, but it's worth it. [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Or, a rematch of the colonization of Newfoundland. ...
About Last Night...
What you missed while publicly executing Santa Claus... • NFL: Matt Moore was disrupted by printouts of ... your mom. Cowboys escape Carolina with a 20-13 win. • NCAA Football: Best two out of three then? BYU avenges regular season loss to UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl. • NCAA Basketball: Oregon loses ...
About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the Global Orgasm For Peace ... • NFL: Willie Parker will be able to use the handicapped parking space at Steelers practice all next week. Pittsburgh 41, St. Louis 24. • College football: Navy and Utah pound each other like the Monitor and the Merrimack until one ...
About Last Night
What you missed while voting for the Quote of the Year ... • NFL: Parcells hired by Miami as head of football operations. Clever Dolphins/Big Tuna headline in the works, will be ready by end of the day today. • NBA: Road trip! Boston loses at home for first time, to Pistons. Congressional hearing pl...
LoDuca Will Dodge Your Questions, And Cars
While we're on the steroid beat, DC Sports Bog has a pretty amazing snippet of a Paul LoDuca conversation from the day before the Mitchell Report came out. When in danger, or threatened, just make sure to almost be hit by a car....
About Last Night
What you missed while visiting the baby otter ... • College basketball: Yes, it appears that Jayhawks Magic will extend through to at least February. Kansas 71, Georgie Tech 66. • NBA: I'm convinced that future generations will regard Sasha Vujacic as the greatest Laker of them all. LA 103, Chicago ...
The Dolphins Climb Out Of The Hole
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
About Last Night
What you missed while battling the Rodents of Unusual Size ... • NFL: Vikings win 20-13, oust Bears from playoff hunt. Mini-Ditka still alive, however. • NBA: Suns beat Spurs, and to add insult to injury they do it while wearing those funky orange-and-gray uniforms. • NHL: Red Wings beat Capitals 4-...
About Last Night
And now it's time for the Feats of Strength ... • NFL: Ravens should have beaten Patriots; Dolphins beat Ravens; therefore, Dolphins are as good as Patriots. • College basketball: The Tar Heels are 9-0, and Tyler Hansbrough has a headache. • NHL: Did the Sharks' Joe Thornton fire six shots, or only ...
About Last Night
What you missed while gettin' busy livin' ... • NFL: Shaun Hill is undefeated; third-string QB leads 49ers over Bengals. • NBA: Spurs top Nuggets in Duncan's return; Matt Bonner not impressed. • Div. III Football: ♫ Mt. Union goes falling down a-down to UW-Whitewater / That's cuz the Beaver learned ...
About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...
About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...