out Page 213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Drinking Time!
Longtime readers know full well of our fascination and affection for Keggy, the mascot with a heart of gold(schlager). Well, because it's a Friday afternoon, it's freezing in New York City and everyone just wants to go home/out and eradicate any lingering brain cells after the work week, we present ...
Finally, A Team We Can Really Root For
In case you missed it in last Sunday's New York Times, the Fugees are a group of three youth soccer teams from Clarkston, Ga., who are having big problems finding a place to play. Clarkston residents, you see, don't like soccer. "There will be nothing but baseball and football down there as long as ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while fighting with shrubbery ... • College basketball: "Duke beats Clemson" has now become mankind's most oft-repeated phrase, replacing "You're fired." • NBA: P.J. Brown (!) leads Bulls past Mavericks, 96-85. • Golf: The Brandt Snedeker Era dawns throughout the land, as rooting for...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while being punched in the face by your own attorney in court ... • NHL: Apparently they played this year's All-Star Game without goalies, and still Sidney Crosby couldn't score. • NBA: Shaq returns for Heat, but Pacers somehow didn't get the memo. • College basketball: Come on down ...
About Last Night
What you missed while frantically calling out WHERE THE HELL IS CARL MONDAY? ... • NBA: Mavericks win eighth straight, Suns claim 14th ... remainder of league affixes white hankie to a curtain rod and comes out with hands up. • Tennis: Maria Sharapova advances to Australian Open semis with 7-6 (5), ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while painting yourself orange and sitting in the student section ... • NBA: Iverson, Carmelo, together for the first time on the same stage! Nuggets 115, Grizzlies 98! • Tennis: Roddick advances toward inevitable showdown with Federer, as if we had to tell you. • College basketball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while baking cookies in obscene shapes ... • NFL: Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl, because we don't see enough of him on TV as it is. • NFL: Mini-Bears stave off all those New Orleans Super Bowl human interest stories, 39-14. • Golf: Hoffman wins Bob Hope Classic when other leaders ...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 91, Kings 74. It was Ron-Ron's first game back in the Palace since the incident. He played imaginary "catch" with some fans at courtside, which probably makes sense. To him. • Soccer: United States 3, Denmark 1. You can stuff that one in your gr nlangk l. • College Basketball: North C...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 104, Timberwolves 98, 2 OT. More on this one in a few. Chris Webber, if you're curious: 16 points, 7 boards, 4 assists. • College Basketball. Georgetown 74, Seton Hall 58. I didn't even know that Seton Hall still had a team. • NBA: Suns 106, Blazers 101. I say we just cancel the rest ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while suddenly looking suspicious for carrying a water bottle to the gym ... • NHL: Is she fast? It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less then 12 parsecs. Bruins over Penguins, 5-4. • NBA: Mavericks beat Lakers for NBA halfway-point championship. • Tennis: Hey, Serena Williams!...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while weeding out the riff-raff on your MySpace page ... • NBA: Chris Webber's Pistons debut spoiled by the offensive stylings of Utah's Mehmet Okur. • Tennis: Sharapova Forever ... top women's seed has no problem advancing in Aussie Open second round. Thank you, HDTV! • NHL: So all ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while searching for that girl whose foot fits the glass slipper ... • NBA: Even McGrady's 45 can't slow the runaway Mavericks. • NHL: Beware of the Devils! The Deviiiiillllsssss! • College basketball: In the wee small hours of the morning ... Mario Boggans puts on a show as Oklahoma ...
Sportswriters Are So Goddamned Cool
Our friends at Gelf Magazine point out the newest trend in newspaper sports columnists column photos: The full body shot!...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while warming your cockles ... • NBA: Brian Cook and his 7.0 scoring average somehow go for 25 as Lakers beat Heat in OT 124-118. At least there's someone involved with the Illini playing basketball well right now. • NHL: Red Wings beat Canadiens 2-0. Notice the lack of scoring by on...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while torturing Jack Bauer ... • NFL playoffs: Oh, who are we kidding, Tom Brady? You had us at hello. Patriots 24, Chargers 21. Poor Marty. • NBA: Newest Nugget leads 109-93 win over Trail Blazers. All hail ... Steve Blake? • College basketball: Aaron Brooks (no, not that one) leads...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Bulls 111, Grizzlies 66. You know what really sucks about this for the Grizzlies? The Bulls did it without two starters. • College Basketball: Pitt 74, Georgetown 69. Both teams shot over 59% from the field. That's gotta be rare. • NFL Playoffs: New Orleans 27, Philadelphia 24. But WHERE was ...
Nothing About This Suggests "Paradise"
If you were undecided about who to root for today... Jesus....
About Last Night...
• NBA: Supersonics 122, Jazz 114. Ray Allen had 54, the most by a Sonic since Fred Brown's magical 58-point night back in '74. • College Basketball: Creighton 62, Northern Iowa 54. It's a shame they couldn't adjust the schedule so the Ray Allen vs. Northern Iowa game could go into overtime. • NBA: L...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Googling your blind date ... • NHL: Get out your handkerchiefs ... Ducks' Selanne scores hat trick for dying friend. • NBA: Passing fancy ... Nash gets 21 assists as Suns top Cavs 109-90. • Golf: Because you had a bad day ... Michelle Wie in trouble at Sony Open as she ... look...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while shuffling your face ... • College basketball: Sasha Kaun ... Sasha Kaun, Sasha Kaun! Kansas drubs Oklahoma State. • NBA: Forty is the new 25 ... Mutombo, Rockets wallop Lakers 102-77. • NHL: We were only Jokinen ... Crosby pointless, Penguins have no answers vs. Panthers....