out Page 213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Needs Demetrius When You Have Katsidis?!
Damn, I really hope all of those sportswriters penning their "Boxing Is Dead" stories forked over the money last night. They certainly would have gotten their money's worth in addition to a pleasant relevation. No, Demetrius Hopkins' fight was not televised, and I was a bit pissed. That feeling disa...
About Last Night...
What you missed while attempting to offset your Winky Wright gambling losses by applying for a job as an NBA ref... • Boxing: Bernard Hopkins clutched and butted his way to an unsatisfying decision over Winky Wright. After the fight Hopkins called out Joe Calzaghe who could be heard laughing all the...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while choreographing the greatest performance in the history of the Phillipine penal system's talent show... • MLB: The Yankees got their asses kicked by Tampa. The Bronx may actually be burning. • Golf: The preening Spaniard Sergio Garcia is still leading at the Open Championship ma...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while purchasing donut-flavored ice cream ... • MLB: Tigers' revenge ... Twins get swept. That'll teach 'em. • Soccer: You know what I always say ... it's not really a soccer brawl until someone gets tasered. • Golf: An Irishman is in danger of winning the British Open for the first ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while reading Strunk & White's Elements of Style ... • MLB: He owes it all to clean living ... Griffey collects 2,500th hit, Reds win. • Tennis: Marat Safin advances at ATP Countrywide Classic. Very nice! • Golf: Tiger, Choi first to top of leaderboard at British Open. But it's raini...
About Last Night ...
What you missed during your shocking slapfest ... • MLB: All hail El Duque, stealer of bases, and of our hearts! Mets 7, Padres 0. • Tour de France: Top o' the world, ma! Juan Mauricio Soler pedals nimbly through the Alps. • Pan Am Games: OK, question. If I e-mailed Shawn Johnson to congratulate her...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while solemnly disposing of all your John Gilmore III Presidential campaign posters ... • MLB: Griffey hits No. 587 ... take that, Frank Robinson. • Tennis: Federer, Nadal on collision course again. • Softball: It's the year of the Cat ... U.S, wins World Cup....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing the saxophone for relaxation ... • MLB: Phillies reach the 10,000 level. • Motor Sports: Hamlin gets whacked at Chicagoland. • Tennis: Russia beats U.S. in Fed Cup, will now focus on defeating Moose and Squirrel ......
About Last Night ...
What you missed while roasting your pig and garage ... • Boxing: Arturo Gatti retires after taking a "Contender" Gomez beating. • MLB: Glavine joins the historic 298-win club as Mets edge Reds. • FIFA U-20 World Cup: America, fuck no! Austria upsets the US 2-1....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while eating 15 million ice-cream treats ... • MLB: Sheff hits an "all the way black" granny in Tigers' 6-3 win. • Cycling: Belgian Tom Boonen takes Tour's 6th stage on a BMX bike. • CFL: Bombers lose to Inuit; Stegall still stuck on history....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wrangling your bats ... • MLB: Manny & Ortiz ...they're cops! • Golf: Phil Mickelson says that if it's not Scottish, it's crap! • Cycling: Cancellara retains the glass slipper....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering what the heck everyone is laughing about ... • Running of the Bulls: Six more people gored today as the bulls threaten to turn this one into a rout. • Soccer: U.S. Under-20 World Cup team beats nation of 1.7 million with a 20 percent unemployment rate. • Fencing: Braz...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while denying thy father and refusing thy name ... • MLB: It goes to 11 ... yeah, If I were Pujols, I'd most likely be peeved as well. AL 5, NL 4. • Cycling: I'm tired, I'm thirsty, and these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. Cancellara wins third stage of Tour de France. • So...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while welcoming your new flea overlords • MLB: Vlad Guerrero wins home run derby, although all the baseballs remained as dry as your grandpappy's scalp. • Cycling: After his win in second stage of Tour de France, there will be a rush of parents naming their babies Gert. • Soccer: Méx...
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking out a restraining order on Chewbacca ... • Tennis: Federer Express ... One for the Thumb at Wimbledon. • MLB: Alex Rodriguez stages own little private home run derby in Yankees' 12-0 win over Angels. • Golf: Choi to the World ... AT&T National has a champ, and it's not T...
About Last Night ...
• NASCAR: Jamie McMurray takes Pepsi 400 checkered flag by a bottleneck. • MLB: Rangers become hoist by the O's Bedard. Horsefly sex down 300%. • Horse Racing: Panty Raid wins Grade 1 American Oaks, several Tri-Lambdas seen with winning tickets....