out Page 221 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Praise The Lord And Pass The Seasoned Buckshot
It's a dilemma that has plagued hunters for centuries: When stalking in the woods, how do I keep deer from seeing me pray? The answer: The camo bible, guaranteed to fool even the most devout grouse, squirrel or beaver, so that you may blast them to Kingdom Come; just as God intended. We recommend th...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing your will on your grounded Jet Blue flight ... • NHL: Holiday For Vowels ... Keith Tkachuk, Alexei Zhitnik debut for Thrashers in 3-2 win over Bruins. • NBA: Kobe, Lakers call out hoarsely: "We're not dead yet!" • College basketball: Jolly Olly Orange ... Syracuse upend...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while getting together with your buddies to produce silhouettes of all your favorite movies ... • College basketball: Ohio State clinches Big Ten with win over Wisconsin; Florida observes with interest. • NBA: For those who consider it a rivalry, please note: Nets 101, Knicks 92. • N...
About Last Night...
• NBA. San Antonio 102, Seattle 71. 11 Top 25 teams outscored the Sonics yesterday, and they all did it in 8 fewer minutes. • NHL. Ottawa 6, Buffalo 5. Just two fights? Come on, where's your commitment? • College Basketball. Michigan State 66, Indiana 58. Drew Neitzel does his best work after halfti...
About Last Night...
• College Basketball: St. Peter's 54, Iona 52. ESPNU doesn't have nearly enough games between teams that have records of 5-23 and 2-26. • NBA: Nets 109, Kings 96. 22 points, 13 board, and 10 assists isn't bad for a guy with a cracked rib. Of course, Jason Kidd's been in worse pain this year. • WGC A...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while giving the cat a perm ... • NBA: Mavericks ascending ... Heat, sans Wade, fall to Dallas 112-100. • Golf: Tiger's got them right where he wants them (insert evil laugh). • College basketball: We have a Conference USA champion, folks. Memphis 99, Rice 63....
About Last Night ...
What you missed as Socrates scores possibly the most important goal of his career ... • NBA: Jacked up ... Phil Jackson's first six-game losing streak, as Jarrett Jack leads Portland over LA 112-108. • College basketball: UConn work it out, UConn work it ooouuutttt ... Calhoun's milestone win import...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tending your four-legged duck ... • NBA: Oh fellas ... Steve Nash is back ... • College basketball: Well, that didn't last long. No. 1 Wisconsin knocked off by Michigan State. • NHL: Ice capades ... Senators give Murray 600th coaching win....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while shaving your head ... • NHL: Point Break ... Islanders take significant win over Penguins. • College basketball: Mario "Superintendent" Chalmers leads Kansas over Kansas State, 71-62. • Tennis: Venus creaks to first-round win in Memphis International....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while cancelling plans for April 14, 2036 ... • NBA: Wayne Newton and Kobe Bryant top Siegfried and Roy 153-132 in All-Star Game. • NASCAR: By virtue of his being the only car not upside down and on fire, Kevin Harvick wins Daytona 500. • College basketball: ASU beats No. 22 USC for ...
About Last Night...
• College Basketball. North Carolina 77, Boston College 72. Jared Dudley, that was not clutch. • NASCAR. Kevin Harvick wins Orbitz 300. I'm not sure what to do with my hands. • NBA. Jason Kapono wins Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout. I can only hope that this somehow led to Antoine Walker feeling ve...
Because This Had To End With Tim Hardaway Being Nude On YouTube
Tim Hardaway might not enjoy gay people, but I really think it could give us all a chance to heal if gay people had a chance to enjoy Tim Hardaway. And since there's already footage available on YouTube that might facilitate this healing process... I feel morally obligated to bring it to you....
About Last Night...
• NBA: Sophomores 155, Rookies 114. David Lee takes it upon himself to prove that Isiah Thomas doesn't screw up everything. • NHL: Penguins 5, Devils 4. Man, that Jordan Staal's really coming along nicely, isn't he? • College Basketball: Winthrop 77, Missouri State 66. On the road against a good Mis...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while training your sea monkeys ... • NHL: Colorado's Sakic gets magic No. 600 (without help from Victor Conte). • NBA: No, the correct answer was "LeBron." All those who said Kobe do not win a cookie. Cavaliers 114, Lakers 108. • College basketball: Use The Force, Lute ... USC sweep...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while treating your sweetheart to a romantic dinner at Boston Market ... • NBA: Eighteen is enough ... Celtics beat Bucks for first win since Jan. 5. • College basketball: In the waning moments of Duke's 78-70 win over No. 21 Boston College, Dickie V actually says: "It doesn't matter...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while getting a Spanish prostate exam ... • Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show: English springer spaniel wins best in show, vows to work for world peace. • College basketball: Calling Tech support ... Hokies knock off No. 4 Tar Heels in OT. • NBA: Heat reach .500 with win over Blazers,...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while monitoring bidding on the Lisa Nowak NASA astronaut diaper ... • College basketball: Gonzaga's problems mushroom mount, as Santa Clara ends the 'Zags' 50-game home win streak. • NHL: Keith Primeau leads Flyers past Red Wings. Wait, um ... what? • NBA: Pistons beat Clippers for ...
About Last Night
What you missed while mourning the death of Hank Bauer ... • NBA: Wolves hand Celtics' 18th straight loss ... let's see Jimmy Fallon in a movie about this. • College basketball: Wholesale panic in Krzyzewskiville as Duke loses fourth straight, to Maryland, 72-60. • NHL: You cannot stop Henrik Zetter...
About Last Night...
• College Basketball: Gonzaga 60, Sant Mary's 49. You're gonna be doin' a lot of doobie-rollin' when you're livin' in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER. • NFL: Pro Bowl. AFC 31, NFC 28. See? Nate Kaeding is clutch. • College Basketball: (1) Florida 64, (18) Kentucky 61. The Wildcats were 3-for-22 from three-p...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Cavs 103, Heat 79. LeBron with 29, Wade with 27 ... Miami's roleplaying center with the funny name had 14. • NBA: Magic 106, Spurs 104. Dwight Howard finishes the rare inbounds, buzzer-beating alley-oop ... J.J. Redick with a career high 16. • College Basketball: Lipscomb 70, Belmont 60. Come...