out Page 221 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....
Wal-Mart's Automotive Department Tends To Make Me Cranky, Too
You may remember YouTube sensation Kige Ramsey's feral enthusiasm in this take on the Cincinnati Bengals. Kige is back, and good news: The lighting for his video has improved. Because he's in Wal-Mart. Talking about Michelle Wie. For YouTube....
About Last Night...
• WNBA. Phoenix 92, Houston 75. Penny Taylor captures the world's imagination with 26 glorious points. Or, just scores 26 points. • MLB. Cincinnati 5, St. Louis 1. And at the midpoint of their season, the Reds are just 19 games under .500. • Arena Football. Columbus 56, Tampa Bay 55. This is as exci...
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Philadelphia Soul 41, Orlando Predators 26. Until Arena Football hires Don Cheadle to do AFL Playoffs commercials, no one's going to care. • MLB. Mets 6, Phillies 5. And then Mets 5, Phillies 2. Billy Wagner finished both games. He's due a good week of rest. • WNBA. Washington Myst...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making your getaway in the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile ... • Soccer: Argentina beats U.S. 4-1, forces us to call cowboys "gauchos" from now on. • MLB: Mr. 3000, yep, that's Craig Biggio. But his BIG milestone is yet to come. • Golf: Park Place ... Wie, Webb flounder at U.S. Women'...
About Last Night ...
What you missed after finally getting permission to skate the half pipe ... • MLB: Is this the beginning of the end for Roger Clemens? Orioles 4, Yankees 0. • Tennis: Roddick beats the unprounceable Danai Udomchoke to advance at Wimbledon. • Soccer: Mexico snaps back with full and luxurious 2-0 win ...
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to buy a phone ... • MLB: Walk this way ... Orioles beat Yankees in the least exciting way possible. • Tennis: Venus Williams upset in first round of ... no wait, she won. That was close. • Soccer: We warned you ... you underestimate Peru at your own peril....
It's Raining Boxers! Hallelujah!
This man is Kelvin Davis, an American heavyweight boxer who was schedule to fight in New Zealand in a couple of days. He was out running across a bridge as part of his training and suddenly felt threatened by the oncoming cars. So ... he jumped off the bridge. It didn't work out well....
About Last Night
What you missed while roasting marshmallows ... • MLB: It goes to 11 ... Shawn Green, Cardinal killer. • Tennis: Classical Grass ... Federer, Roddick advance at Wimbledon. • MLB: Hmm. Apparently Jeff Weaver is good now. Mariners 9, Red Sox 4....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tucking in little Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown ... • College baseball: Year of the Beaver ... s...
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Columbus Destroyers 74, NY Dragons 43. And the 7-9 Destroyers clinch a playoff spot. Parity reigns in the Arena League. • MLB. Seattle 9, Cincinnati 1. Never a good sign when you give up a grand slam in the first inning, is it, Kyle Lohse... • WNBA. San Antonio Silver Stars 71, Con...
About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 7, Giants 3. Barry Bonds' homerun chase continues to distract people from the fact that the Giants suck. • WNBA: San Antonio Stars 70, New York Liberty 63. That'll teach you to trade Becky Hammon, New York Liberty. • MLB. Red Sox 2, Padres 1. Matsuzaka out ueled Greg Maddux, but the b...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while you were up to your ass in geese ... • College baseball: Rematch in the finals ... it'll be Heels vs. Beavers. Get it on! • Soccer: U.S. one win away from that sweet, sweet Gold Cup. • MLB: Cleanup on aisle one! ... Rockies rock Rocket, Yankees swept at Coors....
And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...
About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....
Tim Floyd Likes Them Young
Since not every recruit can be OJ Mayo and just show up at your doorstep, USC coach Tim Floyd has had to get creative over the last two years. So, for the second season in a row, he has offered a full scholarship to an eighth grader....
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the mop fight ... • MLB: It's Twins! Mets fall 9-0, decide to disband. • College baseball: OK, who else is rooting for an Anteaters, Beavers final? • Tennis: There are some who call me ... Tim. Henman advances at Nottingham Open....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing the German version of Wii Hole In One golf ... wait, what did it say on the screen? • MLB: Giants lose (we didn't even have to type that; just "right-click," "paste," as usual). • College baseball: Ward, I'm worried about the Beavers ... OSU's 12-6 win over Arizona Stat...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while entertaining your octopus ... • MLB: They've got the blues ... Padres 11, Cubs 3. • Golf: Today Tiger Woods, tomorrow the Falklands! Angel Cabrera wins U.S. Open. • Tennis: Shazam, Andy! Roddick wins fourth Queen's Club title....