out Page 223 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while frantically calling out WHERE THE HELL IS CARL MONDAY? ... • NBA: Mavericks win eighth straight, Suns claim 14th ... remainder of league affixes white hankie to a curtain rod and comes out with hands up. • Tennis: Maria Sharapova advances to Australian Open semis with 7-6 (5), ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while painting yourself orange and sitting in the student section ... • NBA: Iverson, Carmelo, together for the first time on the same stage! Nuggets 115, Grizzlies 98! • Tennis: Roddick advances toward inevitable showdown with Federer, as if we had to tell you. • College basketball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while baking cookies in obscene shapes ... • NFL: Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl, because we don't see enough of him on TV as it is. • NFL: Mini-Bears stave off all those New Orleans Super Bowl human interest stories, 39-14. • Golf: Hoffman wins Bob Hope Classic when other leaders ...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 91, Kings 74. It was Ron-Ron's first game back in the Palace since the incident. He played imaginary "catch" with some fans at courtside, which probably makes sense. To him. • Soccer: United States 3, Denmark 1. You can stuff that one in your gr nlangk l. • College Basketball: North C...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 104, Timberwolves 98, 2 OT. More on this one in a few. Chris Webber, if you're curious: 16 points, 7 boards, 4 assists. • College Basketball. Georgetown 74, Seton Hall 58. I didn't even know that Seton Hall still had a team. • NBA: Suns 106, Blazers 101. I say we just cancel the rest ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while suddenly looking suspicious for carrying a water bottle to the gym ... • NHL: Is she fast? It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less then 12 parsecs. Bruins over Penguins, 5-4. • NBA: Mavericks beat Lakers for NBA halfway-point championship. • Tennis: Hey, Serena Williams!...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while weeding out the riff-raff on your MySpace page ... • NBA: Chris Webber's Pistons debut spoiled by the offensive stylings of Utah's Mehmet Okur. • Tennis: Sharapova Forever ... top women's seed has no problem advancing in Aussie Open second round. Thank you, HDTV! • NHL: So all ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while searching for that girl whose foot fits the glass slipper ... • NBA: Even McGrady's 45 can't slow the runaway Mavericks. • NHL: Beware of the Devils! The Deviiiiillllsssss! • College basketball: In the wee small hours of the morning ... Mario Boggans puts on a show as Oklahoma ...
Sportswriters Are So Goddamned Cool
Our friends at Gelf Magazine point out the newest trend in newspaper sports columnists column photos: The full body shot!...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while warming your cockles ... • NBA: Brian Cook and his 7.0 scoring average somehow go for 25 as Lakers beat Heat in OT 124-118. At least there's someone involved with the Illini playing basketball well right now. • NHL: Red Wings beat Canadiens 2-0. Notice the lack of scoring by on...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while torturing Jack Bauer ... • NFL playoffs: Oh, who are we kidding, Tom Brady? You had us at hello. Patriots 24, Chargers 21. Poor Marty. • NBA: Newest Nugget leads 109-93 win over Trail Blazers. All hail ... Steve Blake? • College basketball: Aaron Brooks (no, not that one) leads...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Bulls 111, Grizzlies 66. You know what really sucks about this for the Grizzlies? The Bulls did it without two starters. • College Basketball: Pitt 74, Georgetown 69. Both teams shot over 59% from the field. That's gotta be rare. • NFL Playoffs: New Orleans 27, Philadelphia 24. But WHERE was ...
Nothing About This Suggests "Paradise"
If you were undecided about who to root for today... Jesus....
About Last Night...
• NBA: Supersonics 122, Jazz 114. Ray Allen had 54, the most by a Sonic since Fred Brown's magical 58-point night back in '74. • College Basketball: Creighton 62, Northern Iowa 54. It's a shame they couldn't adjust the schedule so the Ray Allen vs. Northern Iowa game could go into overtime. • NBA: L...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Googling your blind date ... • NHL: Get out your handkerchiefs ... Ducks' Selanne scores hat trick for dying friend. • NBA: Passing fancy ... Nash gets 21 assists as Suns top Cavs 109-90. • Golf: Because you had a bad day ... Michelle Wie in trouble at Sony Open as she ... look...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while shuffling your face ... • College basketball: Sasha Kaun ... Sasha Kaun, Sasha Kaun! Kansas drubs Oklahoma State. • NBA: Forty is the new 25 ... Mutombo, Rockets wallop Lakers 102-77. • NHL: We were only Jokinen ... Crosby pointless, Penguins have no answers vs. Panthers....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while grooming your marmot ... • College basketball: Tiger Town ... Clemson still unbeaten after 87-76 win over NC State. • NHL: Feelin' groovy, just had my Chelios ... Red Wings 4, Avalanche 3. • NBA: Jazz disappear into the Nowitzki Zone....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while saying goodbye to Scooby-Doo ... • BCS Championship game: Urban Renewal ... Florida stomps Ohio State in Get Ready For A Playoff System Bowl, 41-14. • NBA: Rocket Man ... McGrady goes medieval in second half in Houston's 84-77 win over Chicago. • NHL: Konstantin Pushkarev deman...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while chastising the other team's players for over-celebrating ... • NFC playoffs: It's Jeff Garcia's world now. We just live in it and have more hair. Eagles 23, Giants 20. • AFC Playoffs: Brady's back! Patriots 37, Jets 16. Kneel before Zod! • NBA: Phil Jackson has a lot o' wins .....
About Last Night...
• NFL. Seahawks 21, Cowboys 20. I sure hope that Carrie Underwood doesn't turn up soon with bruises all over her face. • College Basketball. (19) LSU 55, (14) UConn 49. I'm thinking that last week's #9 ranking of UConn may have been a little high. • NBA. Bulls 106, Pistons 89. And all the Pistons po...