out Page 224 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Send In The Clowns
We have always been amused by lacrosse, which is America's oldest sport and tends to put us in the mind of butterfly collecting. It is also the only sanctioned activity in which it is legal to poke your opponent repeatedly with a stick. But we also knew that the pro version was missing one key ingre...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tripping on peyote at the roulette table with your dead nephew's Vegas hooker. ... • NBA: Down go the Warriors! Utah 115, Golden State 101. • Golf: So out ... crooked baseball caps. So in ... Phil Mickelson golf visors. • MLB: Rockies caught in a vicious cycle thanks to Giants,...
About Last Night...
• NBA Playoffs. Nets 96, Cavaliers 85. See Nets, you are allowed to rebound. • NHL Playoffs. Senators 4, Sabres 3. It was only a time before Joe Corvo left his imprint on this series. • NBA Playoffs. Spurs 108, Suns 101. The one time somebody does clock Manu Ginobili in the eye, he doesn't get the c...
About Last Night...
• NBA. Golden State 125, Utah 105. In case you were wondering if the people in Golden State still believed, their t-shirts indicated that they do. They lose points for using Thunder Stix last night. Disgraceful. • NHL. Red Wings 2, Ducks 1. The Red Wings are far superior to the Ducks in the area of ...
Pistons Finally Tire Of Toying With Bulls
Remember in the last game of the NBA regular season, when the Bulls simply needed a victory over the Nets to clinch the No. 2 seed in the Eastern Conference? If they hadn't lost that game, this Bulls-Pistons whitewash could have been our conference finals; this could be all there is....
About Last Night
What you missed while sitting on the sofa, eating chocolate pie ... • NHL: Oleg Saprykin cannot be contained this time of year. Senators 5, Sabres 2. • NBA: The Bulls, down 3-0 to the Pistons, can't even get all their players to show up on time. Wow. • MLB: OK, good win by Wakefield and the Red Sox....
About Last Night ...
What you missed during another senseless school squirrel attack ... • NBA: That clanking sound you hear is the Warriors going down 2-0 to the Jazz. • MLB: Dice, Dice Baby ... Manny, Matsuzaka lead Red Sox over Blue Jays, 9-3. • Tennis: The Chronicles of Roddick ... big fun at the Rome Masters....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....
About Last Night ...
What you missed when your dad forces you to go to the stripper party ... • NBA: Don't worry girls, it's just a scratch ... Steve will be at the dance tonight. Spurs 111, Suns 106. • NHL: Sabres send Rangers home. Take that, Bloomberg. • MLB: Welcome to the majors, Timmy. Phillies 8, Giants 5....
Poor Mario Got Strung Out On Mushrooms
So a rockin' sports Saturday morphed into a pretty lazy sports Sunday that was redeemed only recently by an excellent Spurs/Suns game that featured over 215 points and several gallons of Steve Nash's blood. The Spurs did hang on to take Game One....
About Last Night...
• NBA. Nets 98, Raptors 97. Our MVP and our Coach of the Year both failed to make it out of the first round. We need a new system. • MLB. Mets 5, Diamondbacks 3. Julio Franco broke Julio Franco's record for the oldest guy to ever hit a home run. Julio Franco is likely to do it again. • NHL. Sabres 2...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking a few spins through the nude car wash ... • MLB: Two reasons that Joe Torre's job is safe for now. • NBA: Goin' back, to Houston, Houston, Houston ... Andrei Kirilenko, Jazz force Game 7 with Rockets. • NHL: Just send us the bill ... Ducks beat Canucks in 2OT to advance....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while texting Roger Clemens ... • NBA: Suns finally administer that stake in the heart to Lakers. Phoenix 119, LA 110. • MLB: Josh Beckett closing in on team record held by ... Babe Ruth? Red Sox 6, Athletics 4. • NHL: The Devil And Daniel Heatley ... Senators take 3-1 lead on New Je...
Five Minutes With Jeremy Hotz
Introducing Standing Room Only, a new feature in which Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler pulls a stand-up comedian off of the street, briefly interrogates him about sports in a dimly lit room, then sets him free. Today, it's Ottawa's own Jeremy Hotz....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while repeatedly dialing "3" and then wondering where the ambulance is ... • NBA: It ... is ... ALIVE! Nowitzki, of all people, leads Mavericks over Warriors in Game 5. • MLB: Phil Of The Future is injured — of course — in Yankees 10-1 win over Rangers. • NHL: Wait, this series is ti...
People Losing Their Life's Savings ... Live On NBC!
It's a logical idea whose time has obviously come: Televised golf wagering. In a move that could only be made by a network desperate after missing out on the Barbaro documentary, NBC is going to televise a full golf tournament made entirely of degenerate gamblers. And Fox is doing it too....
About Last Night
What you missed while betting it all on the Jets ... • NBA: Horry Up And Shoot ... Spurs go up 3-1 on Nuggets ... • MLB: Webb Gem ... Diamondbacks beat Dodgers 9-1 for sixth straight win. • Cheechoo ka choo, Mrs. Robinson ... Sharks take 2-1 series lead over Red Wings....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck on the tarmac ... • NBA: Bulls beat Heat 92-79 to advance to ... oh no, Todd just had a heart attack! • We're three losses from Joe Torre returning to Yankee Stadium to find all of his crap out in the parking lot. Red Sox 7, Yankees 4. • NASCAR: What? Gordon won? That's s...
Think Twice Before Kicking Jimmy's Sorry Ass
If I did ever happen to find myself in a fight with Jimmy, he couldn't do anything to me worse than subject me to this woman's profane shrieking. Please, dude, can you stop whaling on Jimmy for a second, and Marty McSorley this broad?...