out Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Kam Chancellor's Coming To Save The Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2, and a big reason why has been the absence of their all-world safety, Kam Chancellor, who has been holding out for a better contract. Well, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter (by way of Stephen A. Smith), Chancellor has given up on his holdout and is headed back to Seattl...
Jose Bautista Has A Goddamn Cannon Attached To His Shoulder
Jose Bautista spent a month earlier this season playing DH because his shoulder hurt so badly that he couldn’t throw. After tonight, it’s safe to say Bautista is fully recovered....
Japan Stuns South Africa For First Rugby World Cup Win In 24 Years
The Rugby World Cup kicked off this weekend in Britain and one of the big favorites has already been upset. South Africa came into today’s game against Japan ranked #3 in the world to Japan’s #13, but the Cherry Blossoms knocked off the Springboks 34-32 with a dramatic try near the death by Karne He...
Bournemouth's Matt Ritchie Hammers Home One Of The Season's Most Astounding Goals
Not content to let Callum Wilson have all the glory, AFC Bournemouth’s Matt Ritchie delivered this mind-altering strike to put his side up 2-0 against a hapless Sunderland side today. We feel pretty confident that this will stand up as one of the Premiership season’s best goals....
The Caucasian's Guide To Black Barbecues
As interracial dating, integration, and cross-cultural friendships increase, many people find themselves attending events in which they are the minority, and have no frame of reference from which to base their etiquette. In an effort to help bridge the cultural gaps we all have to traverse at some p...
Stephen A. Smith, Useful Idiot, Connects Weed To The Collapse Of Civilization
Stephen A. Smith, the painfully articulate, misogynistic, Floyd-fluffing TMT roadie, is still employed by ESPN, which means he showed up to work today to say fun, dumb shit very loudly to and with Skip Bayless on First Take. Today’s topic: drugs!...
<i>South Park</i> Accurately Sums Up Ballghazi In A Cartman Dream Sequence
As you knew it would, South Park took on Ballghazi in tonight’s 19th season premiere. Cartman sums up the eight months spent investigating, millions of dollars, and god knows how many hours talking about whether Tom Brady ordered a small amount of air be removed from footballs in an appropriately so...
Kam Chancellor's Holdout Couldn't Be Going Any Better
Kam Chancellor is still negotiating with the Seahawks for a new contract, and as his holdout bled into Week 1 of the regular season, undrafted sophomore Dion Bailey took his place at strong safety Sunday against the Rams. It was clear that Chancellor’s starting job will be waiting for him when he co...
Michael Zerafa Stretchered Out Of Ring After Being Knocked Out By Peter Quillin
Peter Quillin improved his career record to 32-0-1 after a knockout of Michael Zerafa so brutal his opponent had to be stretchered out of the ring....
Why Is ESPN Doing George W. Bush's Dirty Work For Him?
The ill-conceived remembrance is by now as much a 9/11 anniversary tradition as the insensitively branded 9/11 memorial tweet, but even by the degraded standards of the remember-when genre, today’s contributions by ESPN and Grantland are really out there....
Richard Gere's Homelessness Drama <i>Time Out Of Mind </i>Will Hit You Hard
1. New York City is obviously the central setting of thousands of movies, and, being New York City, it’s adept at serving as whatever backdrop you want it to serve. It can connote romance or menace, limitless possibility or untold decadence, Candyland or the Hellmouth. But, as someone who lived ther...
Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....
Defense Lines Up With 10 Players To Honor Late Teammate, Recovers Fumble, Scores Touchdown
Arkansas Tech’s defense had only 10 players on the field on its first play against Southern Nazarene in honor of Zemaric Holt, a 21-year-old defensive lineman who drowned in July. Despite the intentional disadvantage, the Wonder Boys—great name, by the way—scored a touchdown....
How To Take Your Kids Backpacking
I am unable to take a vacation. I go on vacations, but the idea of just sitting around doing nothing is pure torture. On our honeymoon, I made my new bride go on a canoe trip, which ended poorly when I paddled her directly into a scraggly bush overhanging the riverbank. Our first fight as a married ...
Callum Wilson Overhead Kick Gives Bournemouth Lead On Leicester City
We noted here that AFC Bournemouth had the potential to be one of the Premiership’s most exciting clubs this season, and the Cherries haven’t let us down—with Callum Wilson’s acrobatic overhead kick putting his side up 1-0 in the first half today against Leicester City....
Little Leaguer Blasts Homer While Mom Is Doing Live ESPN Interview
South Carolina’s Terrence Gist hammered a ball way out of the park in his team’s Little League World Series game against Rhode Island today—just as ESPN was sitting down with his mom for a live interview. The pandering LLWS broadcasts can be awful at times, but maybe it’s worth it for moments like t...
32 Paragraphs About 32 Teams: A Thinking Fan's Guide To The NFL Season
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders Almanac. Buy it here as a PDF, or here in print....
Classic Man: "True North Lies On The Horizon Directly Below The North Star"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we discussed surreptitiously riding the rails; today, we address a few ways to orient yourself in the wild....
Little League World Series Scandal: Softball Team Throws Game
The Little League Softball World Series has erupted in controversy after a team from Snohomish, Washington threw its game against a North Carolina squad, allegedly to knock out a tough Central Iowa All-Stars team from the tournament....