over Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Splendor in the Short Grass
Here's Grover Lewis' famous Rolling Stone takeout on the filming of The Last Picture Show:...
Swansea Give Up Second Hilaribad Goal Of The Week, Now To Max Power
Fresh off this embarrassing performance Monday, Swansea City keepers are continuing their reign of clearance terror today in the FA Cup. This time, it's Gerhard Tremmel who can't get the ball past League Two side Tranmere Rovers midfielder Max Power. Who coaches these keepers?...
Angry Soccer Guy Gets All In Another Soccer Guy's Face, Gets Kissed
It's always funny when athletes go head-to-head in anger, shouting at each other with their lips mere inches apart. You always watch to see if their mouths touch. Well, one soccer dude removed all the ambiguity from this tête-à-tête when he blatantly smooched his opponent right on the mouth. How cut...
Voicemail: Furious Fantasy Owner Threatens To Come Get His Money Back
If you've played fantasy football for long enough, you'll see nothing strange over a vetoed trade leading to one owner threatening to come over and beat up the league treasurer....
Fantasy Football Commissioner Is Fed The Fuck Up
A reader forwarded us this email, which he says was sent by the commissioner of his fantasy football league, Alex. To be succinct, Alex is fucking sick of everyone's bullshit. A $300 prize brings out the worst in people, apparently....
The Ludicrousness Of St. Louis Rams Vs. St. Louis Cops, By Jon Stewart
We've become accustomed to all this by now, but since not everyone can catch The Daily Show it's become our responsibility to bring it to you: the inevitable takedown of this weekend's ridiculous apology-non apology about the St. Louis Rams doing "Hands up, don't shoot" before their game Sunday....
St. Louis Rams Call St. Louis Police Liars
A St. Louis Rams executive apologized (Update: he denies apologizing, see below) to police on behalf of the team's front office for players' use of the "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" gesture before Sunday's game—a gesture that left St. Louis cops demanding punishment for the players....
St. Louis Cops Declare Rams' "Hands Up Don't Shoot" To Be "Offensive"
St. Louis police officers condemned the NFL's Rams today, calling their pre-game display of the "hands up don't shoot" gesture to be "tasteless, offensive and inflammatory." The lengthy statement issued by the St. Louis Police Officers Association demanded Stedman Bailey, Tavon Austin, Jared Cook,...
Georgia Gets 99-Yard Fumble Return TD After Georgia Tech Stuffed
Georgia took a 14-7 lead on Georgia Tech after this Yellow Jackets attempt to sneak across the goal line got stuffed and officials held their breath rather than blowing the whistle. But did Tech get the ball across the goal line? We've enhanced some video so you can see for yourself:...
How To Eat Your Thanksgiving Leftovers: Three Good-Ass Techniques
The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" T...
Xabi Alonso Forced To Apologize To Ronaldo For Stupid, Fake Controversy
Remember that dumb story Real Madrid pitched to their stooges at Marca yesterday, where some milquetoast statements of Xabi Alonso's were folded, kneaded, and ultimately transformed into direct insults to former teammates Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas? Well, it worked....
Meet <em>Marca</em>, The Hilarious Propaganda Arm Of Real Madrid
It's maybe a little difficult for Americans to grasp just how deeply and blatantly in the tank the European press can be for the local XI. And no one is deeper and more blatantly in the tank for the local XI than the media in Spain, where the local XI means either Barcelona and Real Madrid and where...
Sunderland Defender's Exquisite Volley Makes For Wonderful Own Goal
Above, Sunderland's Santiago Vergini shows off some impressive technical ability as he takes a bouncing ball and cracks it past the keeper. It would've been worthy of his personal highlight reel, if it hadn't been aimed at his own net. But for an own goal, this was a beaut....
Prince Songs To Fuck To, Ranked
Prince released two new records this week. And since Art Official Age and PlectrumElectrum (as with all releases from the world's most seductive singer) are loaded with sexiness, it's an appropriate time to attempt to quantify his past sexiness. Let's do this....
Dan Snyder Takes To ESPN To Defend Redskins Nickname
OTL sat down with Redskins owner Daniel Snyder and his moist upper lip to discuss the controversy over the team's nickname. His wife, Tanya, was there, too, giving the proceedings the air of one of those "Yes, I have done bad things, Barbara, but now I am here with my family to repent" confessionals...
UFC Runs Disastrous, Embarrassing Card, Blames Fighters And The Media
On Thursday, UFC 177 was positioned to be a terrible pay-per-view event, just really bad by any objective standard. At the risk of being accused of doing what promoter Dana White calls "the most disgusting fucking despicable thing," I would have discouraged fans from purchasing it, if asked. It wa...
Hey, This Ariana Grande Album Cover Doesn't Make Any Sense
This is the cover for Ariana Grande's upcoming album, My Everything. It doesn't make any sense, and it's freaking me out, man....
Strippers In Jerry Jones Pics Don't Recall Much; Escort May Be Involved
TMZ managed to identify the two women who posed with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in those weird and gross photos that surfaced online this week. Their names are Lindzie and Jordan; they are strippers; and they don't remember much about what happened that night....
18 Overrated Beers
I take very seriously my role as the Lone Listicler, keeping my own counsel and avoiding the corrupting influences of scuttlebutt and daylight to provide the Beer Internet with its only fair and accurate source of rankings, slander, and bullshit. But I was nervous about this compilation of overrated...
HBO's Majestically Bleak <em>The Leftovers</em> Finds God Everywhere, and Nowhere
Organized religion doesn't show up much in prestige television. Which is surprising, given the genre's tendency toward Big Existential Questions, and given how thoroughly Christianity is baked into how America thinks about itself, and given the ways the Christian Right and Mormonism and Scientology ...