ow Page 1059 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your $30 TV dinner ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner Cherry vs. Stevie Johnston; lightweights, Freddie Norwood vs. Johnnie Edwards, at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (9 p.m., ET). What? Isn't this a Marine Corps base? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta (7 p.m., ET). Big Mets' res...
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you drop off the kids at the bar ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (8 p.m., ET). Don't be afraid to show your Cubness. [WGN] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J. (8 p.m., ET); Eastern Conference finals, Game 1, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET). Your fate, decided by ping pon...
Breaking: Russia Years Ahead Of Us In Remote Control Flying Penis Technology
Garry Kasparov’s love-hate relationship with technology continued on Saturday, as the former World Chess Champion was buzzed by a remote controlled flying penis during a political speech in Moscow. As reported by Gizmodo yesterday, Kasparov seemed bemused by the brief encounter, which ended when an ...
Sir, You Seem To Have Something Stuck In Your Knee
The photo above was actually taken by the fella who was impaled by the javelin during a high school track and field event in Utah, which is just both admirable and completely cringe-worthy. Amazingly, Utah Standard-Examiner photog Ryan McGeeney required only 13 stitches to sew up the hole in his k...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wind down from your wild Victoria Day festivities ... • Arena Football League: Los Angeles at Chicago (8 p.m., ET). Those who are about to die, salute you! [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (7 p.m., ET). Theodore Roosevelt Lilly attempts to take San Juan Hill. [ESPN] • NBA:...
Some Reports Suggest That The Romo/Simpson Unholy Union Still Lingers
After all of the confidential sources proclaimed last week that, yes, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson may have possibly ended their shameless romantic relationship for the betterment of all mankind, it appears that there was a temporary reunion for the sake of Ashlee Simpson's shotgun wedding to the e...
Are The Brewers Going To Fire Ned Yost Today? One Fiesty Little Blog Says Yes
A small political site called Badger Blogger reported late Sunday that Ned Yost is likely to be fired by the Brewers this afternoon. Badger Blogger says it's unconfirmed, but they have it from a source "close to the team." A blog called Badger Blogger has sources? Cool. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentine...
I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Big Brown Wins Preakness, Thinks, "Boy, I Am Hungry"
Look. This is Big Brown. This is a horse. We suppose Big Brown is a good-looking, as far as horses go, though we're not sure, from this angle, if we could possibly tell the difference between Big Brown and any other horse on the planet that wasn't, you know, a zebra....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while warming up the grill for a cheese race... • MLB: New York Yankees vs. New York Mets. Yep, plenty of erections in Bristol tonight. [ESPN] • Movie: Knocked Up. That's way too many chairs for one room. [HBO] • Sports Movie: Bang the Drum Slowly. Shouldn't there be a Hornets game ton...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Jessica Alba finally stares at you for a change... • Boxing: Boxing After Dark. Check out this tremendous card of exciting young fighters, highlighted by that Gamboa character. [HBO] • Classic Boxing: Ali/Frazier III. If you haven't ever seen the Thrilla In Manilla then you aren'...
Previewing the Running of the Horses
The Preakness Stakes is finally upon us and Maryland students couldn't be more eager to get fucked up in celebration (it's not a real party without Scott Van Pelt). Since I know incredibly little about horse racing, I've turned to Randy, a lover of both equines and Deadspin. His words are after the ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch to wash the image of Jack Nicholson's man-boobs from your retinas ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Chris Byrd vs. Shaun George, at Las Vegas (9 p.m., ET). That mouthpiece landed in the 25th row! Cool! [ESPN2]. • MLB: Chicago White Sox at San Francisco Giants (10:05 p.m., ET). Interleague pl...
Hey Kids! It's ESPN Rise! (Kill Me Now)
Those old enough to remember the launch of Sports Illustrated For Kids know what fun is in store for America with ESPN's newest venture, ESPN Rise. It's ESPN's attempt to go after the high school demographic with content — including a magazine, programming events and even a presence on SportsCenter...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after winning your groundbreaking fart lawsuit ... • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, New Orleans at San Antonio (9 p.m., ET). Spurs change tactics, say that this time they will try. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (7:30 p.m., ET)....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a man in a gorilla suit steals your pants ... • Horse racing: Preakness post position draw, at Baltimore (5 p.m., ET). Do not bother me for the next two hours! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET). Bring me the head of the Phillie Phanatic. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Co...