ow Page 1084 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You
Sure, Phil Jackson's post-game comments on Tuesday were controversial. But the cinematography was spectacular, and we say he deserves an Oscar. Wait, what? After losing to the Spurs on Tuesday, Jackson said "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game because there's so much penetration and kickouts." ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you teach a raccoon to wash your dishes ... • College football: Akron at Miami (Ohio). Yager shall be rockin'. [ESPN2] • College basketball: North Carolina at Davidson. Playing the Wildcats in Bobcats Arena is no laughing matter. [ESPN] • NBA: Los Angeles Lakers at Houston. Yao smas...

Your Night Out With Brady Quinn
What could be a more attractive way to spend early 2008 that a Dance Revolution Party with Brady Quinn? You could have that chance!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after rooting for the Puck Ewes ... • College football: Toledo at Ball State. Showdown at Scheumann Stadium. [ESPN2] • College basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Syracuse, N.Y.; NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Columbus, Ohio. College basketball is officially here...

Bill Belichick Is A Surly Dick
Michael Showalter is one of the minds behind The State and Stella and the writer and star of the films Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. We're a fan. He also, apparently, is a sports fan. To promote his new album Sandwiches And Cats, he's doing a pseudo tour of the various lousy blogs like our...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you are chased by talking trees and flying monkeys ... • NFL: 49ers at Seahawks. For perhaps the only time, we wish Frank TV were here. [ESPN] • College basketball: New Mexico State at Duke; Youngstown State at UCLA. PenguinMania that grips the nation will only increase following th...

Wyoming Gives Utah 'The New York Hello'
This is a screen grab from Saturday's Utah-Wyoming game. And while a grown man flippin' the bird is usually funny enough on its own, the thing that truly makes this one special is the back-story....

Budweiser's Right: The Browns Are So Good They Don't Even Need A Logo
Gus Johnson, calling that exhilarating Bills-Fins game today, just got done saying before the half that he thinks the Steelers are being slept on and that they could easily hang with the Patriots or Colts. DA says, "Suck on my Horse Balls, Gussy!" Browns 21, Steelers 9...

Give Me Your Concrete Hand First; Fare You Well
As you know, tonight's Virginia-Miami game marks the end of Orange Bowl Stadium. The Hurricanes will move to Dolphin Stadium next season to begin a planned 25-year stay there, while the Orange Bowl will be blown to smithereens and sold on eBay. Thus, the end....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Devil Rays cut their name in half ... • College football: Rutgers at Army. Scarlet Knights vs. Black Knights. Who ya got? [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA European Tour/PGA Tour of Australasia, HSBC Champions, third round, Shanghai. Australasia? You lost me. [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Denver ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you are grounded for 15 years ...• College football: Louisville at West Virginia. Fear the cardinal. Its pecking could break the skin and give you a very bad infection. [ESPN] • NBA: Detroit at Chicago; Dallas at Golden State. Mavericks at Warriors. That somehow rings a bell ... ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy some deep-fried cupcakes ... • College football: Ohio at Akron. The only thing bigger is the Super Bowl. [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA European Tour/PGA Tour Australasia, HSBC Champions, first round, at Shanghai. Late-night golf from Shanghai is pretty much whatt he inventors on TV ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your wedgie attempts are thwarted ... • College football: Central Michigan at Western Michigan. What the old-timers call "The Battle Between Those Two Teams From Michigan Whose Mascots We Can't Quite Recall." [ESPN] • Boxing: Middleweights, Sakio Bika (22-3-2) vs. Jaidon Codringt...

Those Crazy Kids And Their Flying Machines
If they suspended the kid who spelled out "We Suck" in the opposing team's cheering section, we can't imagine what they'll do to a North Carolina student who almost crashed a plane into his home football stadium on a dare....

The Mavericks Invite You To Eat Their Dust
Those of you constantly demanding to see Dirk Nowitzki leaning out of a car window while taking a lap at the Texas Motor Speedway can stop your letters and e-mails: Your wish has finally been granted. Of course now that I see it, I have the urge to jump in the car and take my dog for a drive. Come'...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you cuddle with your vital organs ... • NFL: Baltimore at Pittsburgh. We preferred this matchup back when there was no AFC. [ESPN] • NHL: Philadelphia at New York Rangers. Petr Prucha picked a peck of picked peppers. [Versus] • NBA: Rockets at Mavericks. More excitement than fifty W...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while locking yourself in your bathroom, reading the minutes from last week's Porn Club meeting... • 7 p.m. — Drag Racing: NHRA Auto Club of Southern California finals, Pomona, California. Ahh! which way do I turn? Which way do I turn? [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: SMU at Houston. ...

Just Another 16-Hour Workday For Herbie
I may have been the last person to notice that ESPN College GameDay dreamboat staple Kirk Herbstreit has also been in the booth for that night's ABC prime-time football game. Oftentimes, those two locales are in different areas. But I think yesterday's cross-country trek had to be one a logistical n...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while setting your clocks ahead one hour, then realizing you're doing it wrong... • 6:40 p.m. — NCAA Football: Arizona State at Oregon. [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Florida State at Boston College, Texas A&M at Oklahoma, Oregon State at USC. The regional coverage map reminds me I n...