ow Page 1116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tank Johnson Will Be Allowed To Violate O-Linemen's Probation
Well, the wheels of justice grind gloriously in the land of Chicago. Defensive lineman Tank Johnson — whose name is not Feelings Johnson for a reason — will be able to play in the Super Bowl. A Cook County judge just ruled less than an hour ago that Tank will be able to travel with the team to Miami...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you iron your socks ... • College basketball: Connecticut at Louisville; Oklahoma at Oklahoma State; Gonzaga at Portland. Hot action in the Chiles Center which, depending on where you live, may not be over until dawn. [ESPN] • College women's basketball: Duke at Tennessee. Forget Hi...
Parcells Says That'll Be Enough, Thank You
The Dallas Cowboys blog just reported the news: Bill Parcells has retired as coach of the Cowboys....
To Watch Tonight...
• Tennis. Australian Open, Round of 16. You're not going to watch this. 7:00, ESPN2. • Women's College Basketball. Rutgers @ Louisville. You're not going to watch this, either. 7:00, ESPNU. • NFL. Postgame NFL Afterglow. This one has a chance. Anytime, ESPN or NFL Network....
To Watch Tonight...
• College Basketball. Iowa @ Ohio State. Monitor the progress of Greg Oden's beard. 8:00, ESPNU. • College Football. Dell East-West Shrine Game. Dude, you're gettin' a worthless football game. 7:00, ESPN. • College Basketball. Georgia Tech @ North Carolina. I'm sure there will be many diaper-diandie...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after an exhausting afternoon of Winnie the Pooh Day festivities ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, champion Randall (George) Bailey vs. Michael (The Roaming Gnome) Warrick, for IBA championship, at Key West, Fla. [ESPN2]; Junior featherweights, Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Cuauhtemoc (The At...
The First Rule Of Pillow Fight Club: Do Not Talk About Pillow Fight Club
"Pillow fights were different in my day," said the old man, his wrinkled features revealing the memories. "We didn't have these modern synthetic pillows, or neck pillows with lumbar back support. We used the real thing, with feathers! Yeah, sometimes they'd bust open. But that was the chance you too...
This Week In Soccer: At Last, Consequences For Taking A Dive
Marco Borriello is a soccer player for Milan who recently failed a drug test following a match with Roma, but had a very interesting excuse in his defense. You've heard of accidentally testing positive for banned substances by eating a poppyseed muffin, or taking cough medicine? Well, take a look at...
Ice Jumping Seems To Be Rather Important In Norway
As you might have suspected, we do not speak Norwegian; we're not even that fluent in Swedish Chef. So we're going from a rough translation here, but apparently a Norwegian women's ski jumping team is in trouble for punishing poor jumps by punching the offender in the face....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your plans to jog around the globe hit a snag ... • College men's basketball: Massachusetts at Xavier [ESPN]; Wake Forest at Duke. You know, an enterprising thief could rob Krzyzewskiville blind tonight ... [ESPN2] • NBA: Indiana at Miami; L.A. Lakers at Dallas. Let's see how man...
Deadspin's Heading To Miami And Looking For Direction
As we've mentioned before, AJ Daulerio — whom we hear is the balls — will, for the second consecutive year, be covering the Super Bowl for us, and we couldn't be more excited. (We're not going ourselves; we don't handle sunlight well.) The guy's got an expense account, a laptop and a penchant for ge...
The Tony Romo Kama Sutra
In a disturbing and undeniably amusing listing of the top 50 new sexual positions, the Phat Phree comes up with a novel one: The Tony Romo....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you repeat to yourself it's just a show, I should really just relax ... • College basketball: North Carolina at Clemson [ESPN]; Illinois at Minnesota. [ESPN2]. Half of these teams are going to the NIT. And we think they're in the same conference. Sigh. • NBA: L.A. Lakers at San Anto...
Kwame Brown Has No Concerns About Excess Flour Intake
Sometimes, we just don't have to say anything, other than, well, this must have been what Michael Jordan had in mind when he drafted him....
More Reasons To Avoid Super Bowl Commercials
The New York Daily News reported yesterday that portly pop diva Britney Spears — known as third from the left on the music evolutionary chart, with Hillary Duff on the far left and Courtney Love on the far right — was turned down by the NFL Network when she approached them about appearing in a Super...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you are unable to leave the presence of your 50-inch flat screen, even to go to work, or bathe ... • College men's basketball: Iowa at Indiana; Kentucky at South Carolina. Do not doubt your 2006 NIT champion Gamecocks. [ESPN] • NHL: Columbus at Chicago. Calling all Jacket Backers! R...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you relunctantly put your pants back on ... • College basketball: Marquette at Louisville; Missouri at Kansas; Gonzaga at Saint Mary's. Omar Samhan will smash you, and we mean it. Anybody want a peanut? [ESPN] • NBA: Phoenix at Memphis; Miami at Los Angeles Lakers. Wait ... TNT Mond...
To Watch Tonight...
• College Football. Hula Bowl. Sort of like the Pro Bowl, but less exciting. 8:30, ESPN. • Golf. Sony Open in Hawaii, Final Round. That 16-year-old Fujikawa cat was at -7, tied for 8th heading into today. 7:00, Golf Channel. • College Basketball. Admire the handsome golden locks of Chase Budinger. O...
To Watch Tonight...
• NFL Playoffs. Philadelphia Eagles @ New Orleans Saints. Ah, what the hell, I'll stick around. 8:00, FOX. • College Hockey. Bowling Green @ Nebraska-Omaha. Quick vote. Should we liveblog this, or the football game? 8:00, CSTV. • College Basketball. Georgetown @ Pittsburgh. At least the city of Pitt...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize a major life moment has become part of an episode guide... • Boxing: Cornelius (Pass the Advil) Bundrage vs. Chris (Zucchini Bread) Smith, at Tacoma, Wash. [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA Tour, Sony Open, second round, in Honolulu. Wie is dead. Long live The Donald! [The Golf Channe...