ow Page 1139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the Oompa Loompas do your household chores ... Dodgers at Mets. Jeff Weaver vs. Victor Zambrano for all the marb ... for, ah, third place in their respective divisions. PGA U.S. Bank Championships: "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood Sir, and I never slice. ... Damn!" Foot Fetish: NE R...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while impassionatley engaged in the fight, for your right, to paaaaaarrrrrty. · Guerrero Slams Yankees: We'd make a "Touched by an Angel" reference here if it wasn't so lame. · Brown, Isiah Meet. Strangely, the open Knicks job never comes up. · Armstrong emerges from mountains with y...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your speedboat is being repossessed ... Yankees at Rangers. If Steinbrenner acts quickly, Griffey could be on a plane for this one. From France, the LPGA Evian Masters. Whoa, Lance Armstrong playing through! Washington D.C. United at Kansas City Wizards. May be blacked out in the Ka...
About Last Night ...
What you missed during your frenzied scramble to buy every Wonka Bar in town ... Schilling gets first save since '92, but let's be honest, it was against Tampa Bay. Lance Armstrong facing little resistance as he approaches Paris — kind of like the Germans in WWII. Pistons fire Larry Brown, official...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly reading your child's Harry Potter book in the basement ... Tiger Woods smooches British Open trophy, uses a little tongue. Top of the Tour, ma! Lance Armstrong increases overall lead. Royals, Tigers in ugly brawl. Ron Artest suspended just out of habit....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as authorities string police tape across your porch ... Cardinals at Giants. Scenic panorama includes San Francisco Bay and the lovely BALCO Laboratories. PBA's Motel 6 Roll to Riches. What, you were expecting the Waldorf Astoria? Woman, I told you not to bother me during the PGA John ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed in your obsessive frenzy to make the world's largest ice cream sandwhich ... · U.S. pummels tiny, defenseless Carribean neighbor in Gold Cup soccer. · Baseball, softball axed from Olympics, joining former events tug-of-war (1900-1920) and club swinging (1932). · Yankees' Giambi nudge...
To Watch Tonight ...
Your TV pulls you from the real world with its flickering, hypnotic caress. Don't be afraid. · Indians at Yankees. This series is your last chance to see Derek Jeter until after the All-Star break. Poor dope. · ESPN Bowling Night. Yes, you're watching bowling on television. How sad is that? · PGA Jo...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the Cartoon Network's hastily scheduled Gumby marathon ... · Runtime Error: Jeter snubbed by online All-Star voters · Panama beats Colombia in Gold Cup soccer, as if you didn't know. · New Yorkers stunned, disoriented as Mets end Hernandez's 2 1/2-month win streak....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as New York makes plans to get the 2040 Olympic Games ... · Cubs at Braves. Everyone expecting to play tonight take a step forward. Not so fast, Derek Lee. · WNBA All-Star Game: Courtside celebrities to include Jim Belushi, Frank Stallone. · Goooooooooo Gold Cup: Colombia vs. Panama at...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while transferring all your "White Shadow" episodes from VHS to DVD ... · Boston's Manny Ramirez just loves to show off with the bases loaded. · Horry, Spurs reach accord. Can world peace be far behind? · Healthy at last, Josh Beckett leads Marlins to ... no wait, he's hurt again....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Tom Cruise goes totally mental on some other channel ... · Mets at Nationals: Not our idea of a good time, but you go ahead and knock yourself out. · ESPN Chronicles: Bobby Knight. Parental Discretion Advised. · WNBA: Phoenix and San Antonio actually move around and set some picks....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while running down the street with your hair on fire and a sparkler stuck in your ass ... · Sprocket Man: Lance Armstrong sitting pretty after fourth stage of Tour de France. · Astros' Biggio passes a defenseless dead guy on all-time hit list. · Japanese man eats 49 hot dogs, and sad...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as ... hey! Vladimir Putin stole the remote! · Operation Desert Snore: Giants at Diamondbacks. · Golf: Ask your doctor if the Cialis Western Open is right for you. · Trey Bien! WNBA Sacramento Monarchs at New York Liberty....
Kraft Meant To Give The Ring All Along! Of course!
Patriots owner Robert Kraft now says that he meant to give Russian president Vladimir Putin his Super Bowl ring in the first place....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while picking up various items thrown by Kenny Rogers ... · Pride of Pawtucket: Schilling impressive in minor league rehab start · Biggio ouch! sets modern-day ow! baseball record Jesus, that hurts! · Braves, Marlins treat fans to 4 hours, 14 minutes of sweltering, error-plagued hell...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the melting ice cap slowly submerges your front yard ... · Yankees at Orioles. Torre gets by-the-hour rate at Hyatt Regency Baltimore. · Wimbledon not-so-live: How come no one ever calls each other "dawg" in tennis? · ESPN Classic: 1984 San Francisco 49ers. Come with us now to a tim...
He Should Have At Least Gotten Some Vodka Out Of It
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was out doing what huge capitalists do this week: Meeting with leaders of other countries and gladhanding them enough so they'll give them some free shit down the line. Kraft shook hands with Russian president Vladimir Putin and, to show off, handed Putin his Patriots ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Dick Cheney entertained us with an hour of televised vetriloquism ... · NBA Draft: Andrew Bogut becomes first to bend down and shake David Stern's sweaty little palm. · Steinbrenner, Damacles have closed-door meeting. · Roenick removes foot from mouth, finds ice skate attached....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While The Dog And The Cat Are In The Next Room Plotting A Takeover ... · David Stern Presents the NBA Draft. Couldn't Billy Crystal host it just once? · Yankees at Orioles: Joe Torre funeral procession swings through Maryland. · Wimbledon Highlights. You know you want them....