ow Page 1140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We'd Classify This As A Waste Of Beer
With Leather had this yesterday, but it's too beautiful not to share with you as well: It's Port-a-John racing, in which you run on top of portable urinals and have beers thrown at you. This is exactly what our parents' wedding was like. This is from the Preakness ... of course....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch WATCHING JOHN RAMBO... • AFL: New Orleans at Philadelphia. Much, much better than the lawnmower races. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Some sort of rivalry exists, we read somewhere. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 1. This just in: LeBron ...
AJ Hawk Has Brady Quinn's Back
Last week, we published some rather unusual photos of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn and the wedding of his sister and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk. Well, Hawk spoke this weekend about the photos and he isn't too happy....
To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. New York Yankees @ New York Mets. Tyler Clippard, to the rescue. • 8:00, FX. Movie. Dodgeball. I was never a huge fan of this one. I just kinda wanted to punch that pirate guy. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Office Space. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the ...
Mr. Gourcuff Is A Team Player
It's been kind of a slow day (other than the hockey, which has been awesome ... so I'm told), so why not end things with a picture of a French guy who looks like he's about to go down on his AC Milan teammate. The official caption:...
To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, Speed. NASCAR. Nextel Cup: Nextel All-Star Challenge. Is there a dunk contest involved in this? • 8:30, Fox Soccer. MLS. New England Revolution @ Houston Dynamo. Yeah ... this isn't a big sports night....
Leonard Davis Gives A Damn About Your Horse
It's the biggest time of the year in horse racing, and you know what that means: total disregard for the health of animals while the rest of us drink bourbon and gamble. But not for Cowboys offensive lineman Leonard Davis. Davis is an equine hero....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a urologist reveals how Smallville really got its name ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Zahir Raheem vs. Cristobal Cruz, at Tulsa. In this corner, wearing the red trunks, Bugs Bunny! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Boston. Braves return to Boston. Babe Ruth approves. [TBS] • NBA: Eastern Confe...
If Lastings Milledge Has Offended Any Of You Hos, He Apologizes
A while back we recorded the saga of the Mets' Lastings Milledge, whose new rap song, Bend Ya Knees, not only failed to capture the imagination of America's youth, but also angered his baseball employers. Milledge apologized on Thursday, probably ruining his street cred among all Triple-A/hip hop fa...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to figure out why Young Nahamkin is older than Old Nahamkin ... • MLB: Atlanta at Washington; Chicago Cubs at New York Mets. Bobby Cox and Lou Piniella smolder in their respective dugouts like dormant volcanoes. [WGN] • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Detroit at Chicag...
The Return Of Tecmo Bowl
We don't know how we missed this piece of news yesterday, but The Fanhouse has the scoop: They're bringing back Tecmo Bowl!...
His Next Job Will Be To Take Over For Stu Jackson
This spry gentleman's name is Bill Hargrove — he's the round immobile object between the orange ball and the red ball — and he just bowled his age. You might not find this all that impressive, though we find it difficult to bowl our age, ourselves. (We are not a skilled bowler.) But readers, smile, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you figure the Mets-Cubs game you have tickets for will probably get rained out ... • MLB: Detroit at Boston. The Red Sox are in desperate need of more nicknames. [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, Eastern Conference semifinals, New Jersey at Cleveland, Game 5; Western Conference semifinals, S...
Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos
Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn....
How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...
Sophia Loren Antes Up A Couple Of Years Late
We are no strangers here to certain women who promise to remove certain clothing items if other certain things happen in the world of sports. Anyone who followed the SHOTY competition knows exactly what we mean. We get our hopes up and what happens? Heartache, nothing but heartache!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another trip to the penis burn ward ... • NBA: Playoffs, conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 5; Golden State at Utah, Game 5. Mulder believes the Warriors still have a chance. Scully does not. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Western Conference final, Detroit at Anaheim, Game 3...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while waiting for the pizza guy to make a delivery whenever he damn well gets around to it ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets. Can we start tearing out the seats for souvenirs yet? [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Cleveland at New Jersey, Game 4; Western Conference se...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tripping on peyote at the roulette table with your dead nephew's Vegas hooker. ... • NBA: Down go the Warriors! Utah 115, Golden State 101. • Golf: So out ... crooked baseball caps. So in ... Phil Mickelson golf visors. • MLB: Rockies caught in a vicious cycle thanks to Giants,...
To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Detroit Tigers @ Minnesota Twins. A guy named Boof should have a giant red afro, or a curly mustache or something. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Bad Santa. Underrated in my view, but cursing at children makes me laugh. Don't judge me. • 9:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Utah Jazz @ Golden...