ow Page 1167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your inflatable lawn Santa snaps its moorings and terrorizes the neighborhood ... • College Basketball: Jimmy V Classic, at New York: Kansas vs. Saint Joseph's; Michigan State vs. Boston College. In the tradition of the late, great Jim Valvano, let's all take a test for an athlete t...

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bob Ryan
By all accounts, Bob Ryan was once a good writer. But then something happened. The molten lava, burning his features. The painful reconstruction. The cryptic words: "Rise, Lord Vader." Yes, Bob Ryan's journey to the dark side is now complete. With his ubiquitous presence on Around the Horn and Par...

The Dulcet Tones Of Dirk Nowitzki
We'll confess: We're that dork that always has a novelty ringtone. We've gone from REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling" to the Illinois fight song to our current one, Europe's "The Final Countdown," inspired by Gob on "Arrested Development." We're lame that way. Forgive us....

Here Come The Rosenhaus Defections
The first domino has fallen. Yesterday, in a move that everyone knew was coming but hadn't been made official, Packers wide receiver Javon Walker fired Drew Rosenhaus as his agent. The move is the first of what many expect to be several defections from Rosenhaus' stable of clients, considering he ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you get tired of microscopic views of saliva on CSI: Duluth ... • College Basketball: Arkansas-Little Rock at Illinois. We're not even sure if we get ESPNU, but damn it, we've got a remote with 200 buttons and we're gonna try. [ESPNU] • Monday Night Football: Seattle at Philadelph...

Athlete Run-Ins: The Calm Bill Romanowski
Today's first athlete run-in story is about one of our favorite targets around here: Former NFL steroid freak Bill Romanowski, from Tia in Denver. Important to note in this story that Tia is female....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while taking a break from teaching the cat to catch a Frisbee ... • Boxing: Featherweights, Robert Guerrero vs. Gamaliel Diaz; welterweights, Paul Williams vs. Alfonso Sanchez. As a rule we don't believe that violence is the answer, unless the question is "Who took the remote?" [Showti...

Beleaguered "NFL Countdown" Closed Captioning Typists Get One-Week Reprieve
We were on a very slow-moving piece of public transportation and therefore are just hitting the late news: Michael Irvin has been suspended for one week following his arrest last Friday for having a "pipe" in his car. This is only two days after handsomely named ESPN exec Norby Williamson said "Ri...

To Watch Tonight
• College Football: MAC championship game, Akron vs. Northern Illinois. Because you are either a Zip, or a Husky. There is no middle ground. [ESPN] • College Basketball: Nevada at Kansas. Sorry Jayhawks; led by Marcellus Kemp, the No. 20 Wolf Pack are favored in this one. [ESPN2] • NBA: San Antonio ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch with binoculars through your neighbors' window when your power goes out ... • College Basketball: Georgia Tech at Michigan State, Duke at Indiana. [ESPN]; Minnesota at Maryland, N.C. State at Iowa. [ESPN2]. Big Ten/ACC Challenge. The challenge is, can you watch all four games? A true f...

Michael Irvin's Selective Memory
Yesterday, we were wondering when, exactly, ESPN found out about "analyst" Michael Irvin's arrest last week. Well, USA Today's intrepid Michael Hiestand talked to Bristol brass for today's paper, and it turns out, they found out Sunday, two days after the arrest ... but not from Irvin....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a dingo steals your baby ... • College Basketball: Wisconsin at Wake Forest; Illinois at North Carolina. Hmm, Illinois vs. North Carolina. That sounds familiar. [ESPN] • College Basketball: Purdue at Florida State; Miami (Fla.) at Michigan. It's Daniel Horton and Dion Harris time! [...

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Peter Kerasotis
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. Yes, you read that correctly. Wisdom. How did Charles Dickens miss the boat on this whole one-sentence paragraph thing? Clearly today's breed of sportswriters are far better wordsmiths than the old quill pen-and-in...

A Day In The Life Of The "New" Michael Irvin
Well, it's the day after Michael Irvin's endless string of mea culpas following his arrest on Friday, and if Irvin's appearances had anything in common, it was their high proportion of "mea" to "culpa." Let's look back at Irvin's trip through the ESPN empire:...

Analyzing Irvin's Explanation, Matlock Style
All right, so we know we've harped on this quite a bit already, but we don't want to be all flippant and blog-like on you here: We have to delve into this Michael Irvin business a little bit more. You see, we want to dig down deep into Mr. Irvin's explanation of why there was a pipe in his car, ex...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as mischievous otters play with your car keys just off shore ... • College Basketball: Virginia Tech at Ohio State. Markus Sailes and the Hokies vs. the greatest team with a coach named Thad. [ESPN2] • Monday Night Football: Pittsburgh at Indianapolis. Through some kind of blind luck, ...

Michael Irvin's Curious Company
OK, time for a Michael Irvin update. On Friday, Irvin was cited for having drug paraphernalia in his automobile — wouldn't it be great if Irvin drove a Cooper Mini, by the way? — and yesterday (and today) he's defending himself....

Blogdom's Best: Cleveland Browns
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...

Once A Cowboy, Always A Cowboy
Well, at least we know where Rush Limbaugh was getting all his Oxycontin....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after rolling Uncle Larry out onto the back lawn to sleep it off ... • College Football: Nebraska at Colorado [ABC], Wisconsin at Hawaii [ESPN2]. Because nothing says Traditional Thanksgiving Weekend like football from Hawaii. • College Basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, third place game,...