ow Page 837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sometimes You're The Cyclist, And Sometimes You're The Pavement Splatter
This video comes to us via good old Jimmy Traina, and god damn. Sunday's Rock Lititz Tour in the heart of Amish Country was highlighted by this brutal crash, and maybe your turn is too sharp when the two race leaders both hit the barricades. According to the YouTube uploader, the first cyclist was...
Better Know An Umpire: Laz Diaz
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
Manu Ginobili Tries To Dunk From One Step Inside Foul Line, Fails Miserably
He did manage to successfully complete two other dunks during yesterday's win over the Jazz, but neither was as much fun to watch as this. [The Basketball Jones]...
Dear Abby: Cleveland Sports Have Created An 8-Year-Old Psychopath
Yesterday's "Dear Abby" column featured "Good dad in Cleveland," who's seeking advice on what to do with his eight-year-old son, understandably driven to animal abuse by the frustrations of being a Cleveland sports fan. Little Junior loves sports, you see, but "he has trouble accepting a loss. He'll...
They Tear Down Goalposts In Soccer, Too
Zenit St. Petersburg supporters went nuts after their team beat rivals Dynamo Moscow 2-1 Saturday to clinch a repeat Russian Premiership title, a victory gained despite being down a man for most of the second half. The thrill of victory led to the agony of jail for a handful of fans whose revelry g...
Joe Cowley: The Best Sexist Around, Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep Him Down
So, Joe Cowley. Hilarious satirist, or serial sexist? We'll try to address that soon, but first, let's discuss why you are watching the final tournament fight scene from The Karate Kid scored to Joe Esposito's "You're The Best Around." It seems Cowley had a signature sign off for those he was thro...
<i>Chicago Sun-Times</i> Columnist Joe Cowley Rides A Plane, Degrades Women Everywhere
Ever since Jay Marrioti fell off the face of the planet, the Chicago Sun-Times has been a little light in the abusive-toward-females department. This morning, Joe Cowley (pictured, far right) bravely stepped in to assume the role, in an albeit verbal, yet no less demeaning manner when he took on on...
Alleged Red Sox Fan Gets Her Face Kicked At Yankee Stadium
Please, sports viewing world, do not judge all Yankee fans by these hooligans with their bootleg name-on-the-back-jerseys, they were just defending themselves from this aggressive alleged Red Sox fan who lost her way. The Yankees may have been listless against the Tigers this afternoon, but these ...
Here's Gus Johnson Calling The San Jose Earthquakes' Exciting Last-Second Win
We heard last week from our friends at Awful Announcing that excitable announcer Gus Johnson had picked up the strange gig of calling MLS games on radio for the San Jose Earthquakes. We tuned in tonight, and were not disappointed. While our emeritus editor Will Leitch has concluded that Johnson's...
Bryce Harper's First Major League At-Bat Was A Comebacker
He's clearly doomed to failure....
LeBron James Has Ushered In The NBA Playoffs Flop Era
While debate continues to rage in regard to whether Tyson Chandler's screen on LeBron James today really accounted for a flagrant foul, there's no doubt that LeBron augmented the impact with his own brand of thespianism. The incident set Jeff Van Gundy off on another rant about flopping, and is a ...
Witness The Last Gasp Of Local News Reporting As It Repeatedly Hits On St. Louis Cardinal David Freese
Here is World Series MVP David Freese being subjected to quite possibly the most uncomfortably awkward fluff piece ever. Six Flags has a Mr. Freeze roller coaster and Show Me St. Louis' Julie Tristan decided it would be the perfect excuse to continually hit on the young Cardinal. She even brought i...
Tim McCarver Blames Global Warming For The Increase In Major League Home Runs
We'd normally save this sort of thing for McCarve'd Up (which will be back next week after being pre-empted for NFL draft coverage) but Tim McCarver said one of the stupidest things ever spoken on a television broadcast today, blaming global warming for "making the air thin" and thus leading to a...
Rich Eisen Went Berserk When The Jaguars Drafted A Punter
The Jacksonville Jaguars stupidly picked punter Bryan Anger in the third round last night, a pick that shocked experts and Jags fans alike....
Larry Brown's Bloodletting At SMU Has Begun
Larry Brown wields his mighty scythe, cutting three players just 48 hours after being introduced as Mustangs coach. Among them, point guard Jeremiah Samarrippas, who started his first two years. How did Brown break the news to Samarrippas on Wednesday?...
Better Know An Umpire: Lance Barrett
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
Morris Claiborne Is The Smartest Rookie In The NFL
When word leaked that LSU cornerback Morris Claiborne scored a four on his Wonderlic, our measured reaction was "who gives a shit?" It's a test of certain cognitive abilities, and gives a result that offers no prediction of future performance. Claiborne has a distinction that's a hell of a lot more ...
ESPN Party Was Awesome, ESPN Editor Reports
ESPN editor and senior Jonas Brothers correspondent Lynn Hoppes took out his big boy crayons and wrote up this great report from the ESPN The Magazine Pre-Draft Party. My favorite line? It's a tossup between ......
Do You Deserve That Foul Ball? Consult This Handy Chart
There's some impassioned debate going on in the comments on the post about the couple in Texas failing to surrender a foul ball to the weeping child beside them. What are the real rules, here? Possession is nine-tenths of the law? Children first? What's the right thing to do to avoid the censure of...
I Was The Child Star Of A CBS Show Who Had Two Free Throws To Win The Big Game
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days. Consider this one a very special episode: a former child star reminiscing about his big sports moment on ...