ow Page 985 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paying Tribute To A Fallen Teammate
Deadspin contributor Robert Lunn pens his thoughts about the stabbing death of his former teammate, Jasper "Jazz" Howard. Condolences go out to Rob and the rest of the UCONN football program. [NESN]...
Texas A&M Yell Leaders Aren't Doing Aggie Fans Any Favors
The A&M CheerYell Leaders fired up for the K-State game with a stunning rendition of "Ding Dong Song." (NSFW.) And put it on YouTube for some reason. They lost 62-14, but you can't really keep score on embarrassment. [SoYoked]...
There Goes The Greatest Halloween Costume That Ever Lived
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
D:LKFJ:LDFKJ:LDFKJ:LDKFJ:LDFK!!! (UPDATE)
Honestly. See you tomorrow!...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Transfiguration Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....
Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....
Jim Nantz' Divorce Trial Gets Its Own Sad Play-By-Play
CBS's omnipresent talking guy Jim Nantz is divorcing his wife of 26 years. This is not at all scandalous or shocking, yet the local newspaper provided us all with a depressing blow-by-blow that just might break your heart....
Your Late Games Open Thread
Bernie Kosar is back in Cleveland as a consultant. And, if things keep up, maybe as starting QB. Discuss Tenn/NE in the comments, unless you're stuck with another "football" game. [Plain Dealer]...
Sad News Out Of Storrs
UConn cornerback Jasper Howard was stabbed to death after a school-sponsored dance at the student union. [Courant]...
God Bless Ronan Tynan’s Anti-Semitism
If you're heading to Yankee Stadium for Game 1 of the ALCS tonight, you can forget about hearing Ronan Tynan sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning. Know why? Because he hates Jews! WOOHOO!...
Jerry Jones Thinks Wade Phillips Can Totally Beat The Patriots This Year
"Two years ago the Giants were in trouble," Jones said. "It was also absolutely expected that something was going to happen with the coach....Well, that same year they won the Super Bowl....This is a long, long journey." [DMN]...
Phillies-Dodgers Is Just Like Bloods-Crips, Insane Person Writes
Stu Bykofsky is the Philly Daily News' house lunatic who writes like he's corresponding from prison and who believes another 9/11 is just the thing to put some hair on America's chest. Care to hear his thoughts on Phillies-Dodgers?...
Saints Rebuild New Orleans For Fourth Consecutive Year
October 15, 2009: "Saints Revive NOLA's Spirit" by CNN. Does anyone feel like they've heard this story before?...
A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....
Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...
Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......
Brady Quinn's Cleveland Home On The Market
Well, not technically Cleveland, because no self-respecting athlete actually lives in Cleveland. But this 4-bedroom, 5-bath listing might be a sign that Quinn will soon be plying his trade a lot farther away. [Realtor.com via WaitingForNextYear]...
News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon (UPDATE)
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls start powder puff football brawls that spill over into the crowd....
The Roller Derby Twins Spectacle
I was a little alarmed to find out the NY Times did a huge feature on Katie and Kristy Barry, two nice young woman whom I had the pleasure of meeting for a drink a couple weeks ago....