ow Page 986 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....

Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....

Rays Fans Demand Less Cowbell
The big debate in the Tampa Bay area: could the cowbell fad, still going strong at Rays games, actually be keeping fans away? Or could it be a horrible stadium, stingy management, and lovely weather? Nah, cowbells. [St. Pete Times]...

NY/Cleveland Media Feud Hits A New Low
Reporters in New York and Cleveland have gone back and forth on LeBron's future for the past couple of years. It's been good-natured until today, when a Daily News scribe took personal shots at his Plain Dealer counterpart. Claws out....

Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....

Tiger Sums It Up Nicely: "You Suck, Goddammit"
Li'l Eldrick sliced a shot and let off a string off profanity that would make Ned Flanders faint. Related: Verne Lundquist has a degree in psychology and is an expert at reading people. H/T Jenny, H/T Dave....

Chicago Has A History Of Stadium Bathroom Stall Sex
John Kass's harrowing tale of Dr. Nemeth and his son—who had their Sox Opening Day ruined by a couple in Windy City heat—prompted one reader to send along his video of a post-coital couple at Wrigley from 2007....

Tailpipe: "Like A Warrior In Battle. Hubba Hubba."
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Last Night's Winner: Golf Pundits
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fellows who talk, write, and tweet about golf, and who yesterday got plenty to talk, write, and tweet about. Old people! Flowering shrubs! Asians! Redemption!...

Erin Andrews Still Single-Handedly Determining The Fate Of Her Profession, Gender
Erin Andrews, cha-cha-cha superstar and twirly catch-all symbol for whatever some columnist is feeling cranky about today, has "made a fool out of herself and a sham of her profession," reports one such cranky columnist. Andrews begs to differ....

Kenyon Martin Locker Room Eruption Versus Christian Bale On Set Meltdown
Kenyon Martin's temper tantrum in the aftermath of Popcorn-In-Car-Gate has landed. It's pretty good, but we wanted to add a little zest. So, after firing up some Danger Mouse, we put this together (NSFW language)....

Rutgers Basketball Coach Fired For Heckling Baseball Players?
Word out of New Jersey is that Rutgers basketball coach Fred Hill is about to be fired—not for being a terrible coach, but for yelling at the opposing team at a Rutgers baseball game....

The Jason Whitlock Bobblehead Doll Is My Next Purchase
Oh, but if only it could talk. Like, you'd pull a string and it'll spew all sorts of angry, nonsensical musings on race, sexuality, sports culture and social media pick-up lines: "I c u r a tulane grad." [KCStore]...

<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...

This Sandwich Is Coming To Tempt, Kill You All
KFC's Double Down sandwich has become the stuff of gross-fast-food legend. Now, it is going nationwide. Soon (next week), you too will have the chance to use fried chicken in its best application: as bread. [The Consumerist]...

Confused Sideline Reporter Unable To Follow Game He's Covering
SkyTV's Chris Kamara had one job at this weekend's Portsmouth-Blackburn match: Watch the game. And maybe try to pay attention to what happens. He failed miserably on both counts....

Today In <em>Sportscenter</em> Fashion: Now Showing — Hannah And Her Sisters
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm....

After Coal Mine Blast, Writer Asks The Important Question: Would WVU Have Won In The NCAA Final?
Answer: Yes. "The Mountaineers would have taken the emotional hit, confronted the occasion and done everything to prevail." So noted. [Charleston Daily Mail]...

Incorrect Report On Baseball Salaries Drives Country Into A Tizzy
Everyone breathlessly re-published USA Today's annual salary survey, with the shocking news that the average salary is down 17 percent from 2009. In actuality, average salaries are up from last season. Whoopsie....

If There's A Gremlin On The Wing, Shaun Rogers Is Your Man
That gun in Rogers's carry-on luggage? It was already cocked, with a full magazine and a bullet in the chamber. Somebody's seen Passenger 57 too many times. [Plain Dealer]...