owl Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everton's Richarlison Came Up With The Most Embarrassing Penalty Kick Of The Year
Southampton beat Everton in the penalty kicks in third round of the EFL Cup this afternoon. This was in large part thanks to Everton forward Richarlison, who tried an ill-advised Neymar impression, short-circuited, and sent his penalty over the cross bar. ...

Tremendous, Compounding Boners Lead To Incredible Own Goal
VfB Stuttgart surrendered one of the most embarrassing own goals you’ll ever see this weekend, thanks to a combination of mistakes from left back Borna Sosa and keeper Ron-Robert Zieler....

Todd Bowles Hates Risk, Loves Meaningless Field Goals And Punts<em></em>
Was it really only three weeks ago that the Jets thumped the Lions on Monday Night Football? Did that win, which ushered in that unfamiliar sensation of honest-to-goodness hope, actually happen this season? The Jets haven’t won since, and Sunday’s 31-12 loss at the Jaguars was a total fartbomb that ...

What If The Eagles Just Stink?
PHILADELPHIA — It is a sad Monday morning here. Workers head to the office looking dejected. The birds aren’t chirping like they usually do. The Liberty Bell is cracked. The Eagles are 2-2....

Improbable Series Of Fuck-Ups Clinches Playoff Berths For Brewers And Cubs
The Brewers beat the Cardinals Wednesday night in a tense 2–1 game. The result clinched at least a spot in the NL Wild Card game for the Brewers and for the Cubs, who sit at 92 wins apiece in the closest divisional race left in baseball. And there is one Cardinals rookie who is going to feel like ab...

Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...

Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...

Isaiah Crowell Has A Special Gift For Browns Fans
Former Brown Isaiah Crowell scored a couple touchdowns in the first half of Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game. On the second of these Crowell used his touchdown celebration to do something very rude to the football, before throwing it into the end zone stands, to be caught by Browns fans:...

Report: Finally, A Reason To Watch The Super Bowl!
Variety and Us Weekly report that adult contemporary group Maroon 5 will be the halftime performers at February’s Super Bowl LIII (pronounced “leeeeeee”) in Atlanta, probably because Imagine Dragons was already booked as the NHL’s in-house band....

Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show<em></em>
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball universe. The only reason to have these games is so such-and-such youngster can get his first taste of life in the majors. In this case the youngster is Orioles rookie outfielder DJ S...

This 84-Shot Rally At The Davis Cup Is Tennis Hell
Over the years and across dozens of blogs, Deadspin has tried to make a case for watching and enjoying tennis, the sport being played in last weekend’s Davis Cup rubber between France’s Nicolas Mahut and Spain’s Marcel Granollers....

Knots Happen: Equipment Malfunction At Rhythmic Gymnastics World Championships
You ever watch rhythmic gymnasts and wonder how the ribbons that they twirl while executing complex leaps, turns, and tosses doesn’t get constantly tied up in knots like your charger/laptop/game console wires do in that corner of your apartment that you never ever clean because then you’d have to de...

The Red Sox Won Thanks To A Very Avoidable Error
The Red Sox wrapped up a three-game sweep of the Blue Jays last night in Fenway in a very silly way. With the game tied in the eighth, Xander Bogaerts reached base on a one-out double, then stole third. Blake Swihart then pinged a tiny pop-up into the shallow outfield, and he seemed pissed as he tro...

Doug Marrone Claims He's "So Pissed Off" At Not Reaching A Super Bowl That He's Never Watched One
Jaguars coach Doug Marrone probably should have coached in the Super Bowl last season and, if he had, he would have witnessed his first Super Bowl action in, uh, over 40 years, somehow? Marrone told ESPN today that he didn’t watch last season’s Super Bowl, not even to scout for the Patriots this wee...

We Think We Know Who Will Win The Super Bowl
It’s fine to know nothing about football. It’s also fine to know everything about football. What I know about football is: nothing....

Minor-League Team Wins Championship On Walk-Off Balk, Goes Freaking Crazy
The Eugene (Ore.) Emeralds are the Cubs’ Class A short-season affiliate, and this year they’ve earned the nickname the Bad News Ems by having the Northwest League’s worst overall record. But in the Northwest League, you can qualify for the postseason based on your second-half record, and the Emerald...

Fresh Out Of More Obscure Maladies, Fate Sends A Baseball Into Noah Syndergaard's Ribs
In a turn of events that is both scarier and less troubling than his recent battle with hand, foot, and mouth disease, Noah Syndergaard was nailed in the ribs by a screaming comebacker Saturday night against the Phillies, and had to leave the game....

Cascading Series Of Fuckups Leads To Thrilling Game-Winning Goal
Here we have an example of the redemptive power of never giving up, from the Tajik Cup. After a defender for Lokomotiv Pamir booted a long clearance, FC Istiklol Dushanbe’s goalkeeper made the critical mistake of getting fancy with his interception, trying to turn and kick the ball across the middle...

Gary Sánchez Really Couldn't Catch The Ball Last Night
The mighty Oakland Athletics pantsed the sickly New York Yankees last night at the Coliseum, taking two games from a pretty entertaining three-game preview of the most likely AL Wild Card game matchup. Oakland shot out to a four-run lead in the first inning, though Yanks catcher Gary Sánchez was as ...

Todd Frazier Duped An Umpire With A Rubber Ball
In Monday’s Mets game against the Dodgers, New York third baseman Todd Frazier made what initially looked to be a spectacular over-the-railing grab on Alex Verdugo. According to the umpire and the official box score, that’s exactly what Frazier did. But a crafty investigation by SNY’s Steve Gelbs ha...