owl Page 137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Is An Utterly Maddening Sequence Of Soccer Errors
Unlike most lowlight-reel soccer fuckups, this comedy of errors actually happened in a meaningful game played between two good-ish teams. Standard Liege led Sevilla by a goal in their Thursday Europa League meetup, and they were presented with a perfect opportunity to slam the door shut on the Spani...

Here Is a Truly Putrid Basketball Sequence
The Bucks lost to the Hornets yesterday, thanks largely to the following sequence in which they missed what feels like 15 shots in what feels like five seconds. There’s no one standout here, as every single Milwaukee player’s ability to trip over himself is remarkable and laudable; a special note of...

One Khris Middleton Shot Blocked By 60 Percent Of Hornets Lineup
One pretty sure sign that you’ve chosen a bad shot is when it is stuffed back in your face by a defender. Khris Middleton is having an excellent season for the Milwaukee Bucks, but if your shot is blocked by three different defenders, probably you owe your teammates a sincere apology. ...
![Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ixehh9mgwgbeldk2uzsj.gif)
Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]
Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...

Derek Carr Either Forgot It Was Fourth Down Or Just Gave Up
Here’s a representative lowlight from the Raiders’ 20-6 loss to the Chargers today: QB Derek Carr, after a timeout to set up a crucial fourth-down play, throws the ball directly into the turf....

FitzMagic Isn't Strong Enough To Make This Pass Legal
Tampa Bay Bucs QB Ryan Fitzpatrick almost made a magical play on a long third down in the first quarter of today’s game against Washington. With the ball at midfield, Fitzpatrick dropped back, did a supernatural job of escaping the pass rush, then took off running before he, uh, threw a forward pass...

Raheem Sterling Wins A Penalty By Tripping Over Himself
In today’s match against Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester City star Raheem Sterling did something incredibly embarrassing when he blew a very good scoring opportunity by tripping over his own feet. Luckily for him, the referee followed that blunder with an even more monumental failure of his own when he...

This Dwight Howard Shot Was A Crime Against Basketball
The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny center Dwight Howard—whose teammates universally cannot stand him—is back from a butt injury, and the Wizards are in such a sorry state of internecine bickering that Howard is the ...

Was Anyone Even <i>Trying</i> To Stop Neal Pionk On This Goal?
This goal looks straight out of a movie. In a 4-on-4 with under three minutes to go in a tie game, a little-known defenseman—in this case New York Rangers kid Neal Pionk—takes the puck from behind his own net and just ... continues with it until he scores the game-winner. It shouldn’t be possible in...

Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Still Crab Meat?
The Sixers could sure use some shooting. In Sunday’s jarringly one-sided loss to the Brooklyn Nets, Sixers starters combined to produce zero made three-pointers on just six total attempts. On the season, Philadelphia’s starting lineup has attempted just 18 total three-pointers in 53 minutes of cour...

Bart Scott Rips Todd Bowles As Jets Combust
Nothing sours a locker room like a stout defense coming to resent the offense for being unable to score. It happened in Seattle, it happened in Jacksonville, and it is happening on the Jets. Following an unwatchable 13-6 loss to the Dolphins, left tackle Kelvin Beachum, unprompted, kicked off his po...

DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick
Well this was all very dramatic. DC United were down 2–1 in the 116th minute of Thursday night’s knockout round match against Columbus Crew, until Nick DeLeon ripped home a clutch equalizer from the edge of the box off a blown clearance....

Dr. Z's Lesser-Known Book Was One Of The Truest Things About Football Ever Written<em></em>
Longtime football writer Paul Zimmerman, better known as Dr. Z, died today at age 86, his former colleague Peter King announced. Zimmerman hadn’t written for years due to a series of strokes, but for a time he was one of the best football writers out there and worth remembering today. Here’s what I ...

The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>
The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....

Dolphins Gifted Red Zone First Down On Highly Suspect Illegal Contact Penalty
The NFL’s rules about who can hit who and when, and how, and where, are even more confusing than I thought. Tonight the Dolphins were gifted a first down and half the distance to the goal on a call I’m not sure I’ve ever seen before: a personal foul against the Texans for making contact with, uh, th...

Report: The Broncos' Ownership Situation Is Getting Messy
Control of the Broncos organization was passed to a trust in 2014, when Annabel Bowlen announced that her husband, team owner Pat Bowlen, was too diminished by Alzheimer’s disease for him to continue running the team. The Broncos won the Super Bowl the following season, but the years since have been...

Let's Briefly Check In On The Minnesota Timberwolves
Now seems like a time to pop in and see what’s going on with the T-Wolves, and specifically Karl-Anthony Towns, who spent the last few weeks of the offseason getting shat on by teammate and supreme cheesebutt Jimmy Butler....

Shameless Joel Embiid Flop Gets Andre Drummond Tossed From One-Possession Game
This moment didn’t wind up deciding Tuesday night’s excellent Sixers-Pistons game, but certainly removing his counterpart from the game made it a worthwhile ploy for Joel Embiid. With the score tied in the final minute of regulation, Embiid beat Andre Drummond to the cup for a tough bucket; as the b...

Police: Ex-Boyfriend Shot Dead Utah Track Athlete, Then Killed Himself
University of Utah track and field athlete Lauren McCluskey was found shot dead Monday night in the backseat of a vehicle outside a campus dormitory, according to university police. The suspected shooter was 37-year-old Melvin Rowland, a man McCluskey’s family said she had recently stopped dating. R...

Justin Tucker's First Career Missed Extra Point Came At The Worst Possible Moment
Oh man, Justin Tucker pulled a John Carney. He pulled a damn John Carney against the team that had experienced a John Carney!...