owl Page 189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arizona Man Loses Super Bowl Gig After Posting Credential On Facebook
Former DJ Russ Knight was picked to work Super Bowl XLIX in Phoenix as an assistant frequency coordinator. He was so excited that he Facebooked a photo of himself pointing at the credential around his neck. That picture cost Knight his job before he could even start it....

The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Semifinals Start NOW. VOTE!
You God-damned animals voted Ridged Chips out? In favor of Kettle Chips??? What kind of perversion is this? Fine, you know what? Go scratch, more Ruffles for me....

NFL: We Won't Sell That Officially-Licensed Photo Of Lynch's Dick Grab
An NFL spokesman says the league has decided a $150 Seahawks NFC Championship collage that featured Marshawn Lynch's "obscene" crotch grab wasn't officially-licensed after all, and has pulled it from the NFL Shop. ...

Chris Berman Has Had It With This Pro Bowl Bullshit
Safe to say Chris Berman was not a fan of the Pro Bowl halftime show performed by Nico & Vinz. Here's his pissed-off reaction after ESPN's lackluster broadcast....

The NFL Sells A Photo Of Marshawn Lynch's "Obscene" Gesture For $150
The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for grabbing his dick and now says they may penalize the team yardage if the Seahawks running back pulls an M.J. during the Super Bowl. But the league's distaste for "hold my dick" stopped once they realized they could make money on Lynch's johnson, as evidenced ...

Even QVC Is Making Jokes About The Patriots' Footballs
Shut it down. All that can be said about Ballghazi has been said....

Best. Vacuum. EVER: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Pro Bowl
It will be hard—achingly hard, if not nigh-impossible—for you, a committed sports fan, to divert your attention away from the luminous spectacle of competitive purity that is the 2015 NFL Pro Bowl, presented by McDonald's....

Bill Nye The Science Guy Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
Science expert Bill Nye appeared on Good Morning America today to unequivocally call out Bill Belichick as a bullshitter....

Defense, Played The 76ers Way
Anybody want to guard Jeff Green? Anybody? No?...

Bill Belichick: "I've Handled Dozens Of Balls" In Search To Do Science
The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls....

The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Divisional Finals Are Upon Us. VOTE!
Big Peanut took a page out of Big Avocado's playbook, attempting to throw my bracket by ginning up Twitter support. Big Peanut did not succeed....

Basketball Is Dead. The Knicks And Sixers Murdered It.
All the precious, fragile, bitterly-won gains of humankind's wretched, fitful, brave, millennia-long upward struggle went up in white-hot magnesium flames last night in Philadelphia and burned away to powder. All for nothing. All fantasies, every damn one. The Knicks and Sixers have shown us ours...

The NFL Should Just Leave Marshawn Lynch The Hell Alone
According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, the NFL is preparing to become much more aggressive in its battle against Marshawn Lynch and his continued refusal to give a fuck....

Round 2 Of The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Starts NOW! Vote!
Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the sa...

The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Start Now. VOTE!
The Super Bowl is a grand time for food. All those New Year's Resolutions about eating right, getting fit, and drinking less go out the window just in time for nimble fingers to set to work crafting the perfect snack stadium or dialing Dominos....

Andy Dalton, Seventh Alternate QB, Will Play In The Dumb Pro Bowl
When the NFL totaled up the votes and named six QBs to the Pro Bowl, it also drew up a list of alternates for when players inevitably bailed due to injury or just having better things to do. That list of alternates goes down a long way. Andy Dalton, basically the King Ralph of quarterbacks, is a Pro...

Fowler Falls For Fake Website, Makes Crazy Claims About Tennis Star
Tonight's Australian Open coverage on ESPN2 featured announcer Chris Fowler explaining to the audience that Japanese pro Kei Nishikori is, among other things, the highest-paid tennis player in the world and the owner of a restaurant chain, a soccer team, and clothing and perfume lines. None of tho...

Sad Derrick Rose Airballs An Open Goddamn Layup
Oooh, that is a slick little move, there. The ball-fake to freeze Timofey Mozgov, the little half-Eurostep toward the middle of the lane, the midair adjustment as Mozgov recovers to contest. And then, what in the damn hell. Did the Earth shift 18 inches off its normal orbital path while Rose w...

Woman Goes Bonkers At Opportunity To Buy Patriots "AFC Champion" Shirt
If you're like me, you assumed those "conference champion" shirts and hats exist for players and coaches to wear in the moments after cashing their ticket to the Super Bowl. It turns out people actually buy these things, and one woman is really, really excited that her local Modell's is stocking P...
