owl Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Whatever Choice Was Made, It Was Going To Be Wrong
We enjoy this picture of Georgia center Fernando Velasco, taken after the Bulldogs' win over Georgia Tech Saturday, because he is holding an orange. Presumably, a fan through him — and some other Bulldogs — an orange to symbolize the Orange Bowl. This is odd not because Georgia is not going to the O...
Give Me Your Concrete Hand First; Fare You Well
As you know, tonight's Virginia-Miami game marks the end of Orange Bowl Stadium. The Hurricanes will move to Dolphin Stadium next season to begin a planned 25-year stay there, while the Orange Bowl will be blown to smithereens and sold on eBay. Thus, the end....
Brett Favre Embodies The Tecmo Bowl Pass Play
I'd assume that a Tecmo Bowl Byron Leftwich would keep cycling through his receivers with the B button until someone sacks him....
Your Full Klingons-Furries Bowling Report
You might remember last week, when we told you about the glories of the Furries Vs. Klingons bowling match in Atlanta. Well, someone showed up and took a bunch of pictures. Heck, admission was only 10 bucks....
It's Furries Vs. Klingons For All The (Lost) Marbles
Man, oh man, how we wish we were in Atlanta this weekend. It's the Furries vs. Klingons bowl-off. If there's anybody out that way who wants to pop by and let us know how this goes, consider yourself officially encouraged. We only wish Bob Uecker were around for it; Furry conventions are never the s...
FIU Must Protect This House!
You might remember, during Miami announcer Lamar Thomas' insane rant during the Miami-Florida International fight last year, when he said something to the effect of, "you don't come into our house pulling that," or some similar nonsense. Well guess what, Lamar? Ned and his band of FIU faithful are a...
There Are Safeties Weaker Than Ryan Seacrest
You know, we didn't mean to come across as openly derisive toward Ryan Seacrest yesterday when we pointed out that he will be a co-host of the Super Bowl this year. In fact, we clearly underestimated the guy....
The Super Bowl Gets More SUPER
You might think that Richard Simmons hanging out with Howie Long and company is just an anomaly, a tiny bit of happenstance. But then again, you don't know who's hosting the pregame and halftime festivities for Fox at Super Bowl XLII....
The Report From The Arena Bowl
The man in this picture is Jay Gruden, the younger brother of Jon Gruden and the head coach of the AFL's Orlando Predators. He was one of the many luminaries at the Arena Bowl over the weekend, and the guys from It's Still Football were there. They filed a full report for us, which is after the jum...
Spike Is Here, Kids, And He's READY TO BALL
We've talked to you before about Spike, The Super Ball, the official mascot of Super Bowl XLII at the Pink Taco in Glendale next February. Well, now, Spike is making public appearances. We are all of sudden SO EXCITED about Super Bowl XLII, thanks to Spike's signature brand of crowd-pleasing banter...
One More Pittsburgh Pirates Fan Will Stake A Walkout
Earlier this year, Kevin McClatchy released the chair of Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner from his grasp. Since he was on a roll, yesterday he announced he will let go of another cherished title at the end of the year: CEO. Hey, if you love something, let it go. If it finally earns a winning season...
The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...
If Nenad Krstic Wasn't Such A Sex Object, This Wouldn't Be Happening
The man just puts people in the mood for porno. And soon, Nets fans won't have to go far to satisfy their jones....
Surely, President Bush's Favorite Day Of The Year
Occasionally, when President Bush meets a sports team that has won a title, it means something. When the Red Sox visited after winning the World Series in 2004, not only was it a historic victory, but it also allowed Curt Schilling — who had campaigned heavily for Bush after the Red Sox won — to rec...
Kevin Durant Is Low On The Upper Body Strength
Among those who care more about silly workout statistics and the notion of watching young men in their underwear run, jump and lift things than simply watching how preternaturally blessed athletes dominate their sports, there was considerable concern this week about Kevin Durant's relatively weak sh...
The Return Of Tecmo Bowl
We don't know how we missed this piece of news yesterday, but The Fanhouse has the scoop: They're bringing back Tecmo Bowl!...
His Next Job Will Be To Take Over For Stu Jackson
This spry gentleman's name is Bill Hargrove — he's the round immobile object between the orange ball and the red ball — and he just bowled his age. You might not find this all that impressive, though we find it difficult to bowl our age, ourselves. (We are not a skilled bowler.) But readers, smile, ...
Temple's Inspired Obfuscation Falls Just Short
Considering the breathtaking amount of success Temple University sports have had over the last few years, it's no surprise that they were put on probation by the NCAA yesterday. We're so glad Temple's dominance was finally explained....
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....