Temple's Inspired Obfuscation Falls Just Short

Considering the breathtaking amount of success Temple University sports have had over the last few years, it's no surprise that they were put on probation by the NCAA yesterday. We're so glad Temple's dominance was finally explained.

Anyway, the circumstances surrounding their probation involved the men's tennis team and coach Bill Hoehne using an ineligible player. And boy, did he do an astounding job of covering his tracks.

The coach, who was fired on April 12, 2005, hid the scheme by mumbling the name of the student-athlete during pre-match introductions and by asking opponents to skip formal introductions altogether, the NCAA said. The school and Hoehne were cited for violations including fraud and erroneous student-athlete eligibility certifications.

OK, that's brilliant: Hope not enough people are paying attention that you just stumble over the ineligible guy's name and then move along. It didn't work, though: The team now has to forfeit its whopping three victories.

Temple Sports Put On Single Public Probation [The 700 Level]