owl Page 280 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Slight Departure From Billy Packer
With the NCAA tournament gone, and CBS putting Billy Packer back in his cryogenic chamber for 11 months, I thought we were entitled to some commentators with more of a sense of joy....

He Has Risen, And Is Demanding Oats
You know, we mocked the Barbaro message boarders when they claimed that Big Boss Horse was appearing to them from the afterlife. Yeah, we had a good laugh over that. But then a reader got to looking closely at our Jesus bowling post from last week, and made a startling discovery. Just look at the im...

Spare Me, Oh Lord
To be absolutely truthful, this video really confuses us. Why is everyone laughing? Why would anyone think that Jesus would throw anything but a strike? Religion generally confuses us, but one thing we're pretty sure of: The Son of God has his own equipment ... Jesus does not rent bowling shoes. We'...

Hoot, There It Is
Look, you may say this has nothing to do with sports, but we don't care. Sometimes a story transcends compartmentalization ... You do not come into the owl's house talkin' trash!...

The First Rule Of The Super Bowl Is, You Do Not Talk About The Super Bowl... Or The Big Game
The NFL, of course, has the term "Super Bowl" trademarked, so you can't use those particular words to promote any kind of a party or gathering for the event. Not only is it illegal, but if you close your eyes and say "Super Bowl" three times, Ed Hochuli will appear in front of you and rip your godda...

The Underrated Legs Of Rex Grossman
The good people at SomethingAwful threw together some inspired Super Bowl photoshop work. And because it's excellent and because I'm having a difficult time letting go of football, I cobbled together a few of my favorite into the above image... I hope they don't mind....

I Guess Sean Taylor Doesn't Watch A Lot Of Pro Bowls
I thought that sort of thing was illegal in Pro Bowls. Defenses aren't allowed to blitz, there are fines for things like running fast, blocking, trying hard, or expressing a desire to compete. I guess Sean Taylor didn't get the memo... he went after Brian Moorman like Moorman stole his ATV....

Today Is Hawaiian Shirt Day
The Pro Bowl will be kicking off any minute now, and I can't wait for this dazzling affair. Conference supremacy and pride are on the line, and that's fantstic. But really, today's about sportsmanship and togetherness, because no matter what happens at the game, everyone's getting a free lei. And I ...

Tony Romo Gets Back On The Horse
So it's bad enough that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo still plans on being at the Pro Bowl this weekend, after that rather unfortunate misstep that ended Bill Parcells' coaching career and brought shame upon the great Eastern Illinois University. But guess what? They're actually gonna ask him to hol...

When Will The Media Elite Stop Tearing Down Our White Heroes?
Every debate needs comic relief, and God bless him, Rush Limbaugh is always good for that. The former director of promotions for the Kansas City Royals in the early 1980s, and at one time the word's fifth-leading importer of OxyContin (behind Brazil), Limbaugh has become in recent years obsessed wit...

Prepare For The Pink Taco In '08
It's never too early, friends: Time to get your thinking caps on about Super Bowl XLII! That's right, next year's Super Bowl — which we will not be glogging — will be at the Buzzsaw Pink Taco Stadium, and they've already come up with the logo. It's not quite Olympic-level Nightmare Fuel — he looks l...

Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...

Deconstructing Puppy Bowl III
Normally we would say that we take a back seat to no one when it comes to Puppy Bowl coverage; we love puppies, and even watched a few moments of the Bissell Kitty Halftime Show on Sunday. But we didn't count on Planet Haystack, whose coverage of this event was, well, comprehensive, to say the least...

Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass
The Big Lead has a fun wrapup of media party-related stories from the Super Bowl — which was Sunday, by the way — and we enjoyed this one considerably....

Mmmmm ... Super Bowl Ad Controversy
Well, that was $2.5 million well spent. Not only did the "Snickers car mechanics kiss" Super Bowl ad horrify Rex Grossman, but it has also angered gay and human rights groups, NASCAR fans, makers of other candy, lovers of motor oil, Puppy Bowl III participants, Muslims and most species of fish. (In ...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Farewell, Miami
AJ Daulerio has been in Miami all week as the Deadspin "correspondent." This is his final post of the trip....

Yes, It Was A Good Night For The Colt
In case you were wondering how Bear Vs. Colt turned out, here's your answer: With the Colt in bed with an attractive blond woman. That sounds about right....

About That Glogging Thing ...
As many of you know, while the rest of you were all out enjoying cool icy beverages and collectively mocking Carlos Mencia commercials over spinach dip during the Super Bowl last evening, we were in our dark apartment, tapping out the live "glog" at CBS Sportsline. We were reminded that there's a re...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Do Not Bother Matt Geiger When He's Talking To Penthouse Pets
AJ Daulerio has been Deadspin's "correspondent" all week at the Super Bowl in Miami. He wraps up his coverage today with two tales. The first is from the Penthouse Party on Friday night....

It Washes Away Memories From The Sidewalks Of Life
When we look back at Super Bowl XLI in a few years, what will we remember most? The Sex Cannon's free-flying vertical missives into the night? Tony Dungy at last setting race relations straight in this country? Jimmy Fallon sitting next to Janet Reno on a couch? We figure the lasting image of Super ...