owns Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Clevinger Is Just Ridiculously Angry At Robert Flores For Sharing A Silly Video
Cleveland starter Mike Clevinger pitched adequately in his team’s final game of the postseason on Monday, though the relievers after him completely self-destructed in the 11-3 loss to the Astros. It seems like that’s still a sore spot for Clevinger....
Former NFL Linebacker's Solution For The Struggling Eagles: Hump Less
The Eagles are 2-3, but fortunately for them, their division sucks. Former NFL linebacker and Philly news anchor Garry Cobb has a suggestion to get the team back on track: Don’t let the players fuck....
Ass Team Of The Week: The Ravens Won The Ass-Off
Listen, any doo-doo team can go out there and get the shit kicked out of them by the Rams or the Chiefs. The truest expressions of buttness tend to happen when one meaty cheek meets another, combining to form one giant Voltron ass with a stink that envelopes the whole game. On Sunday the Baltimore R...
Steve Kerr Says "I Don't Want To Be Here," Gets Ejected, Waves Goodbye
The Warriors left Klay Thompson and Draymond Green out of Monday’s preseason game against the Suns. Who cares! No team maybe ever has had any less use for the preseason than the 2018-2019 Golden State Warriors. Steve Kerr knows this. Watch him thank the referees for hitting him with technical fouls ...
Linval Joseph Scores Ultimate Fat Man Touchdown
Fat man touchdowns are one of the few remaining things about football that can bring me pure, unadulterated joy in a moment’s notice. Vikings defensive tackle Linval Joseph is the latest large lad to bring me such happiness. On a 1st-and-10 passing play, Stephen Weatherly was able to strip-sack Cars...
NFL Admits Derek Carr Actually Fumbled The Ball Against The Browns
The NFL’s senior vice president of officiating, Al Riveron, admitted in a Twitter video that the officials of the Browns-Raiders game made the wrong call in the fourth quarter when it appeared that Derek Carr fumbled the ball, and Larry Ogunjobi had a straight shot to the end zone. The refs blew the...
Bullshit Overturned First Down Helps Raiders Beat Browns In Overtime
The Browns had everything they needed to beat the Raiders 42-34 in Oakland today, but a bizarre and inexplicable decision by the referees to overturn a late Carlos Hyde first-down run gave the Raiders the opportunity to make a dramatic comeback and win in overtime....
What The Hell Is This ESPN Johnny Manziel Segment?
ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown show is three hours long every week, and there’s only so many times Matt Hasselbeck can say something like, “The Chicago Bears defense just wants to win this week, and you need a defense that wants to win in order to succeed in the National Football League.” So it’s no su...
Joe West Was Being Persnickety About Cameras So Bob Brenly Owned Him
Veteran umpire Joe West has been at this a long time, and it seems like he might be suffering some late-season and late-career grouchiness. Over the weekend, he instigated a confrontation with White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson that led to Anderson’s ejection as well as a post-game declaration that “E...
Rick Reilly Confuses The Hell Out Of Justin Thomas With A Terrible Question
Serial self-plagiarizer and teeth-enthusiast Rick Reilly has, for some goddamn reason, made a return to the world of sports writing. He attended a press conference at the Ryder Cup today, and while Justin Thomas was on the dais, Rick turned on that classic charm we all know and love:...
Report: Vikings Lineman Everson Griffen Threatened To Shoot Someone At Minneapolis Hotel
Everson Griffen missed Sunday’s surprising 27–6 home loss to the Buffalo Bills due to “a personal matter,” according to Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer. According to a report from ABC 5 Eyewitness News, the personal matter was a strange episode at the team’s Minneapolis team hotel Saturday that invol...
The Athletic Has Stirred Up A Cleveland Sports Media Feud
The Athletic poached a basketball writer from Cleveland.com, prompting the site’s Editor-In-Chief to send a since-leaked internal emailing shitting on The Athletic, prompting the editor from a rival Cleveland site, Clevescene.com, to write a post shitting on Cleveland.com, prompting me to slurp up a...
The Baker Mayfield Era Is (Almost) Officially Upon Us
After leading the Browns to an incredible second-half comeback on Thursday, and unleashing Bud Light onto the hoards of Cleveland fans who have been desperately waiting almost two years for a win, Baker Mayfield will be the new starting quarterback in Cleveland. Hue Jackson is expected to make the d...
At Least One Minnesota Timberwolves Star Doesn't Have A Problem With Commitment
While they’re still in the midst of figuring out what to do with malcontented soon-to-be free agent Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves at least made a bit of good news this weekend, locking up their long-term franchise guy for the foreseeable future. Karl-Anthony Towns, a man who has been indi...
Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018
It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...
Browns ... Win?
Well that was exhilarating. Baker Mayfield came into Thursday night’s game with the Browns down 14–0 and their offense doing just nothing, and he played a brilliant half of football to bring his team back, and the Browns secured their first win since Christmas Eve 2016. ...
Baker Mayfield Is Playing Like He's Not A Browns Quarterback
Tyrod Taylor was pulled late in the second quarter and ruled out for the second half after suffering a concussion against the Jets Thursday night. He was having a shitty game, completing just four of 14 passes for 19 yards, and leading the Browns to just four first downs and zero points. Taylor bein...
Browns Fan Saves Possum From Having To Watch The Rest Of Thursday Night Football<em></em>
A poor, foolish possum somehow made its way into the stands at Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game, in Cleveland. Maybe he’s a big Baker Mayfield fan! It’s unlikely the little fellow had a valid ticket—as such, he was captured and put into a box by a jersey-clad gentleman who seems really admirably co...
Isaiah Crowell Has A Special Gift For Browns Fans
Former Brown Isaiah Crowell scored a couple touchdowns in the first half of Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game. On the second of these Crowell used his touchdown celebration to do something very rude to the football, before throwing it into the end zone stands, to be caught by Browns fans:...
"League Sources" Say Karl-Anthony Towns Is A Donkey
All the reporting about the souring of the relationship between Jimmy Butler and the Timberwolves points to fit issues between Butler, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Andrew Wiggins. Butler’s “honest conversations” with Wolves brass led in short order to a trade request, and a list of preferred trade partne...