owns Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....

Les Miles's Brain Briefly And Spectacularly Shut Down During His Introductory Press Conference
Les Miles is the new football coach at Kansas, which is a fact that will make you say, “That’s weird!” every time you hear it. He was officially introduced at a press conference yesterday, and he made sure to let everyone know just what a boon to the community his football program is going to be....
![Report: Condoleezza Rice On Browns' Wish List To Interview For Head Coach [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xf4ozgy54x7vy6k1nvug.jpg)
Report: Condoleezza Rice On Browns' Wish List To Interview For Head Coach [Update]
With the season likely lost, and Gregg Williams being far from the ideal candidate to lead a football team, the Browns have turned their attention to who their next head coach will be for next year. One of the names that the team has an interest in interviewing is former Secretary of State Condoleez...

Barstool Sports Chud Has Heated Gaming Moment, Tells Virtual Joel Embiid To "Go Back To Africa"
If there’s one thing that is true in this world, it’s that anyone who spends a substantial amount of their time recording themselves playing video games will eventually say something regrettable on camera. There have been many heated gaming moments in the past, and there will be more in the future....

Matt Patricia Made The Lions Practice In The Snow For No Good Reason
The Bill Belichick coaching tree has produced a bounty of dullards and faux hardmen, and it’s beginning to look like former Patriots defensive coordinator and first-year Lions head coach Matt Patricia is the juiciest offering yet....

Goddamnit, Cy Young Voter Who Snubbed Jacob deGrom Is A W-L Guy
I didn’t know a lot about San Diego Union-Tribune writer John Maffei (but not, weirdly, baseball writer) before today. I know everything about now, even from very limited data....

Malcolm Gladwell Goes On Bill Simmons's Podcast, Delivers Sweaty Monologue On Nigerian Basketball Superiority
Malcolm Gladwell appeared on Bill Simmons’s podcast today to advance the claim that Nigerians would be the best possible basketball team composed of members of any one race. He began by arguing that being Nigerian depended on the player’s parents’ country of origin, and then kept building from there...
![The Warriors' Only Weakness Seems To Be Them Arguing With Each Other [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gbnm3hqlpewfpfxrolmj.jpg)
The Warriors' Only Weakness Seems To Be Them Arguing With Each Other [Update]
Draymond Green and Kevin Durant had themselves a nice spat Monday night over some bad decision-making by Green in the final seconds of regulation, a game that the Warriors lost to the Clippers in overtime. Earlier today, ESPN’s Marc J. Spears and Adrian Wojnarowski reported that the conflict continu...

Draymond Green Blew It And Kevin Durant Got So Mad At Him
The Warriors and Clippers played a thriller last night, in which the Warriors made an 11-0 run in the last five minutes of regulations to tie the game, only to lose 121-116 in overtime. But who cares about any of that shit! We’re here because Kevin Durant and Draymond Green looked like they wanted t...

Zach Smith Is Having Another Meltdown On Twitter
Former Ohio State assistant coach Zach Smith—who was fired this summer after an alleged history of domestic violence against his ex-wife, Courtney, came to light—is back to melting down on Twitter in an effort to prove, I suppose, that the reports about his anger issues are totally inaccurate. Today...

Nick Chubb Ran All Over The Falcons For The Longest Play From Scrimmage Of The Season
The Browns are pummeling the Falcons defense this afternoon, and one of the main culprits has been Cleveland running back Nick Chubb. Having already caught a receiving touchdown earlier, Chubb added to the damage by running through a hole, making one man miss, and ripping off a 92-yard rush to the e...

Something's Eating Karl-Anthony TownsÂ
Something isn’t quite right in Minnesota, and it cannot be purely explained by Jimmy Butler’s abject buttitude. Right before the season started, Karl-Anthony Towns said, “This momentum we’re riding right now, this wave we’re riding, it’s not good. It’s not good at all.” When asked why the Wolves had...

Las Vegas Sportscaster Arrested For Allegedly Masturbating At Bar, Says He Was Scratching A Rash
KSNV News 3 sportscaster Randy Howe was arrested Tuesday morning for allegedly masturbating at an unnamed bar in North Las Vegas, according to a police report obtained by the Las Vegas Sun. Police have charged him with indecent exposure and open gross lewdness....

Let's Remember The NFL's Greatest Forgotten Coaching Rant
Behind the scenes, whenever he might have been shooting the shit or just taking questions from reporters when there weren’t cameras around, Jerry Burns had a penchant for weaving curse words into whatever he was saying. ...

Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns
Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season....

Michael Thomas’s Cell Phone Celebration Was Cool, No Matter What The Announcers Said
It was a great game. The Saints scored 35 first-half points, with Drew Brees throwing for three scores. Jared Goff led the Rams all the way back from a 21-point deficit to tie things up in the fourth. Then, late in the fourth quarter, the Saints had the ball in their own territory leading by just th...

Hue Jackson: If Only The Browns Had Listened More To Hue JacksonÂ
Hue Jackson finished his tenure as head coach of the Cleveland Browns with a record of three wins, 36 losses, and one tie. In hindsight, it’s remarkable that Jackson was given a second year in charge after starting the 2016 season 0–14 and finishing 1–15; it’s even more incredible that he was given ...

Gregg Williams Is Really Gonna Stick With This "Everyone Wanted To Hire Me" Bit, Huh
Browns defensive coordinator and interim head coach Gregg Williams, who preserved his job and earned a promotion simply by being the least bad of Cleveland’s three senior coaches, wants you to know he doesn’t have to be here. Other teams have been falling over themselves to hire Gregg Williams, best...

Former Player Says "Insane" Prep School Coach Mike Woodbury Used To Call Teenage Female Players "Sperm Banks"
Following the publication of an audio recording in which prep school basketball coach Mike Woodbury said, “I’m gonna fuck you in your ass” to one of his former players, other people who played for Woodbury in the past are coming forward with their own stories of his abusive behavior....

Who Needs Jimmy Butler When You've Got Uhh Derrick Rose
The Timberwolves held Jimmy Butler out of their Halloween home game against the Utah Jazz, for honestly who knows what reason. Shams says it’s part of “a six-week-long process aimed at getting the All-Star out of Minnesota.” Woj says it was for rest. Either way, the Jazz are tough customers, and sit...