Baseball has been a much more boring sport ever since Pat "The Machine" Burrell decided to hang up the spikes. But…
![Pat Burrell Not Only Danced Shirtless At A Philly Bar, He Left No Tip On A $158 Tab [UPDATED]](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,pg_1,q_80,w_320/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg 320w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_264,pg_1,q_80,w_470/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg 470w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_450,pg_1,q_80,w_800/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg 800w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_675,pg_1,q_80,w_1200/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg 1200w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_900,pg_1,q_80,w_1600/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg 1600w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,pg_1,q_80,w_80/17n8t3fvb8t4hjpg.jpg 80w)
Yesterday morning, we put out the call for photographic proof of Pat Burrell dancing shirtless while wearing a blazer

That's the rumor out of Philadelphia this morning and we'd love to hear more information if you've got it. We'd…

MLB Trade Rumors had it first, and noted rich guy Jon Heyman confirmed on Twitter: Pat Burrell is retiring. The…

In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the…

Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down…

Pat Burrell rips out Daulerio's heart, stomps on it, gives it a mohawk. [ESPN]

Well. Busy week. Vishante Shiancoe became a star and brought us more viewers than any other week. **Holds gun to…

Reaction to yesterday's Four Tiny Tidbits on the Philadelphia Phillies continues to pour in (OK, we've had two…

More Webshot findings from the ladies of On The DL, and though none are quite as damning as the married Brandon…