pee Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Suck: A Special Message To The Graduating Class Of 2014
This is all about sucking, so I'll begin with me, in a parking lot, parked too close to the adjacent car. I open my car door and inadvertently hit the other dude's door. I pray that I haven't left a scratch, or a dent, or something substantial that would require insurance-card swapping and 10 minu...
Joyce Carol Oates Rages Against Death Of The First Amendment
Most people think that the case of Donald Sterling poses no free speech or First Amendment issues. Their argument is that Sterling has every right to order his mistresses not to be seen with black people and to privately talk about Los Angeles Clippers players as if they were livestock, and that the...
Bob Costas Abandons Broadcast Booth Mid-Inning To Pee
Bob Costas handed over play-by-play to MLB Network commentator John Smoltz in the bottom of the seventh inning tonight at Yankee Stadium, escaping the booth to hit the little boys' room....
Dumb Twitter Users Rage Against Death Of The First Amendment
Donald Sterling's tenure as owner of the Los Angeles Clippers wasn't the only thing that died today; so did the First Amendment. The much-loved guarantee of freedom of speech was 223 years old, and was killed by NBA commissioner Adam Silver, who cited broad powers in the league constitution as the b...
Here's Why You Should Be Excited About Billy Hamilton
Reds center fielder Billy Hamilton only played in 13 games with the big club after making his major-league debut in September last year, so you might not be very familiar with what kind of player he is. But Hamilton's a full-time starter this year, and last night he made a play that let us all know ...
Speech Competition Punctuated With Kid Blowing Chunks On Medal Stand
This happened at last week's Nebraska state speech championships, and we are so glad that it did. We don't know the identity of the kid fire-hosing the remnants of his turkey sandwich all over his hands and feet, but we do know that he is a hero. Because of him, we may now enjoy the world's first pe...
Is Time For Cat Falling Through Olympic Arena Ceiling
Lots of space has been spent on the (admittedly adorable) dogs of Sochi. But where is the cat coverage? Why are we not awwwing over the stray felines in and around the Olympics? Mostly because they're just fucking shit up....
How A Century-Old Skate Design Completely Changed Modern Speed Skating
Equipment can be a funny thing in sports, as we've seen with the ongoing Under Armor race suit debacle. But that's nothing compared to what happened in 1996, when the International Skating Union allowed skaters to begin using clap skates (or slap skates, depending on who you ask) in competitions. ...
Ditching The New Under Armour Suit Didn't Help Speedskater Shani Davis
Under Armour's latest speedskating suits weren't working well with the U.S. team, so some skaters switched, including Shani Davis. The change didn't do much for him in the individual 1,500-meter race....
U.S. Speedskating Moves To Drop Under Armour Race Suits
U.S. Speedskating has officially requested permission to switch race suits, with a number of skaters convinced the new Under Armour suits are responsible for their underwhelming performances so far....
Is A Crappy Under Armour Race Suit Slowing Down U.S. Speed Skating?
The U.S. has sucked something fierce in speed skating so far at Sochi. Through more than half of its races, Team USA still hasn't medaled. This is astonishing, because speed skating is traditionally one of the U.S.'s strongest winter sports. One explanation for the dip? As the Wall Street Journal fi...
Speed Skater Wins Gold After Everyone Else Crashes
China's Li Jianrou found the perfect place to be in today's women's 500-meter short track final: the back of the pack....
Shani Davis And Koen Verweij Are Best Olympic Bros
American speed skater Shani Davis is a minor celebrity in America, but he's practically a folk hero in the Netherlands, where speed skating is beloved all year round. According to the Wall Street Journal, Davis is so respected by the Dutch that even his Olympic rival, Koen Verweij, considers him a h...
Dutch Airline Boss Arrested For Peeing On Putin's Fence
If you're a foreigner in Sochi for the Olympics, one of the things at the top of your "Things not to do at the Olympics" list should be "Peeing on Vladimir Putin's fence." Someone should have told that to Dutch Airline mogul Atilay Uslu....
Russian Skater Gets Away With False Start Thanks To Broken Starter Pistol
Ekaterina Lobysheva is a veteran Russian speed skater, but everything about her run during today's 500m prelims in Sochi today was amateur hour—from the broken starter pistol that let her get away with a second, disqualifying false start, to the broken ice that made her wipe out at the end....
Speed Skaters Have Gotten A Lot Faster Since 1924
Similar to what The New York Times did for the 100m dash in 2012, The Wall Street Journal has developed a great graphic to show just how much faster the top speed skaters have gotten over the years. The still above is part of an animation pitting every male 500m gold medalist against each other; the...
Dutch Twin Brothers Battle For Gold In Speed Skating
The Dutch own speed skating. Over the weekend, Ireen Wust won gold in the women's 3,000, they swept the podium in the men's 5,000 and today they swept the 500. This was a particularly tense set of races because identical twin brothers were jockeying for position. This is a split-screen video of the...