penguins Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heat Up Your Cold February Nights With Hockey Erotica
If you're looking for hot entertainment, I suggest finding your way North this month for "a new show that brings Canada's two favourite pastimes—hockey and sex—together at last on one rollicking theatre stage."...
Kris Letang Beats Off Two Guys, Interviewer Takes Notice
Fox Sports' Dan Potash asks an unfortunate question of Pittsburgh Penguin Kris Letang. It's funny because your mind is in the gutter. [YouTube, via The PensBlog]...
Penguins Sign Kid With Cystic Fibrosis (No, This Is A Good Thing)
Every once in awhile you have to break out a story like this one, just to remind everybody that professional athletes and sports organizations are not entirely made up of heartless, greedy scumbags....
The Terrible History Of Undersized Linens
Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury celebrates as the first star of his team's shutout of New York today. Foreshadowing? Or pride before the fall?...
Jump For Joy! There's A Hockey Game On Today!
NBC is broadcasting a regular season NHL game today ... on TV even! Rangers at Penguins (probably sans Crosby), 12:30 p.m. ET. Let's watch that! [NBC]...
Capitals Win, Crosby Goes Down
The highly-touted matchup between Washington and Pittsburgh mostly lived up to its billing. The teams still hate each other and the play was intense, but the Caps eventually put the Penguins to bed, 6-3....
Why Can't Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin Just Get Along?
The Penguins and Capitals square off again tonight and this growing rivalry may have just the kind of storyline the NHL needs to get some buzz going—an old world Russian blood feud....
Area Girlfriend Is Seriously Cramping Penguin Fan's Style
Ok, fess up. Which one of you Penguin fans out there is the subject of this letter submitted to advice columnist Margo Howard?...
Red Wings Fan Attempts To Jinx Penguins With Lions Shirt; Results Predictable
Red Wings fan Rick Finn here decided his team needed a little something extra going into last night's showdown with the Penguins, so he hatched an ingenious plan. He had an opportunity to pose with the Stanley Cup in Traverse City, Mich., on Labor Day, and decided to try and put a hex on Sidney Cros...
Congratulations, Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings
The NHL Closer is written by five people of European descent at Melt Your Face Off. We're not the first people to blog the Stanley Cup Finals, but Don Cherry still calls us "soft". So, for all you kids out there, Raskolnikov toughened up to recapitulate Detroit's clincher....
Sykora Calls His Shot
The NHL Closer is written by five insomniacs from Melt Your Face Off. We blame overtime hockey and copious amounts of caffeine for our condition. Raskolnikov downed two cases of Mountain Dew to recapitulate last night's epic thriller....
Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...
Mellon Arena: The Final Frontier
The NHL Closer is written by the five Star Trek: The Next Generation enthusiasts from Melt Your Face Off. When not attending conventions, they can be found in their makeshift Holodeck, where they practice putting the moves on a virtual Counselor Troi. Set your phasers to stun, Deadspinners, because ...
The Stanley Cup Finals Mule Variations
The NHL Closer is written by five octopi from Melt Your Face Off. When Al Sobotka isn't twirling us over his head, we're served with pickled ginger, green onion and mayonnaise in takoyaki. Raskolnikov emptied his ink sacs to write a recap of last night's action....
Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
Penguins Return Home For Game Five, Get Back In The Habit
The NHL Closer is written by the five pillars of piety from Melt Your Face Off. When not serving the needy, sick, poor and uneducated, they can be found sneaking sips from the Baptismal Font. Weed Against Speed somehow got his hands on the keys to the Popemobile, so let's take this sucker out for a ...
Challis' Message Continues To Inspire
Those who have been following the story of John Challis in the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette shouldn't be surprised that he's taking the country by storm. The Freedom High School (Pa.) senior, who has terminal cancer, was invited to attend Game 2 of the NHL playoff series between Philadelphia and Pittsbu...
The Flyers Are Not Fond Of Game 1s
Sure, the Flyers eventually knuckled under to the Penguins' explosive attack after getting up early, but they're clearly just setting up the Pens like they did to the Caps and the Habs. Philly has lost the opener in each of its three series this postseason. The Pens have even gone as far as to crib ...
Previewing The Flyers-Penguins
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you the five wealthiest people in the world known as the MYFO Pentaverate. They blog from a secret country mansion known as the Meadows. Beware their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. Today, Hextall454 breaks down the Eastern Confer...