pga Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michelle Wie's Life Is No Longer Worthless
It's about freakin' time that 20-year-old Michelle Wie won a real golf tournament, a two-stroke win in the Lorena Ochoa Invitational. Now maybe she'll give up this silly dream and finally enroll in dental school. [Honolulu Advertiser]...

Terrible Golfer Banned For Using Drugs To Enhance His Terrible Performance
Doug Barron, a 40-year-old veteran with zero PGA Tour wins, is the first golfer to be suspended under the tour's anti-doping policy. Now he will no longer terrorize the professional ranks with his massive 270-yard drives....

Time To Clear The Air Jordan
MJ will be a special assistant to the Americans at this weekend's Presidents Cup, but he won't have his signature cigar in hand. Why not? Liberals!...

Tiger Woods Owns The Biggest House On The Rich Side Of Town
If Forbes' calculations are correct, Tiger Woods' $10 million FedEx Cup victory pushes him over the one billion dollar mark in career earnings. And he's only 33! How is your 401k doing? [Forbes]...

Come For The Golf, Be Overcome By The Noxious Fumes
There's a good reason that Liberty National is the most expensive golf course ever built (and the most expensive to join.) It covers up a toxic waste dump! The radioactive sludge makes night golf so much easier! [Forbes]...

What A $500,000 Country Club Membership Buys You
A look inside Liberty National Golf Club, site of this week's PGA event, where members pay a $500,000 initiation fee plus $25,000 yearly dues to eat lunch in New Jersey. Ahh, that sweet-smelling Jersey breeze! [Star-Ledger]...

Tiger Woods: Golf's Newest Choke Artist
Someone actually had the nerve to ask Tiger Woods—on Saturday—if he'd ever come close to choking in a major. 14 for 14 when leading the final round. So congratulations, anonymous jinxer. You won the weekend....

Tiger Yang. Y.E. Woods. PGA Championship Open Thread
Tiger's on the verge of bed-shitting but there's still time for him to make adjustments and continue to humble and humiliate all comers. [PGA] (Photo: WUP)...

No Sense Waiting Til Tomorrow To Start Engraving The Wanamaker Trophy
Consider this your official PGA Championship open thread. Is it too early to declare this Tiger's two-day victory lap? After Federer's and Nadal's early exits yesterday, we need confirmation that gods still walk among us. [PGA]...

And Now A Musical Interlude From John Daly
The big guy dropped out of the PGA Championship after one round (citing a bad back) and then dropped this smash hit single (citing the chords from "Every Rose Has Its Thorn.") Spoiler!: It's about being sad. [Devil Ball Golf]...

Golfers To Trade Cash For Gold
The IOC is planning to include golf and rugby in the 2016 Olympics. Finally! All of the world's best golfers can compete against each other in one event, just like every single weekend of the year. [MSNBC]...

Rich People Golf While You're At Work
The PGA Championship is under way. Follow along with the online leaderboard and it's almost like being outside! (Your cubicle has never felt so small and dark.) [PGA.com/ShaneBacon]...

Tiger Woods, David Feherty's Soiled Underpants, And You
The PGA gas scandal has taught us a lot about ourselves and about humanity in general, but there is one deeper unexplored question: Why is this the first we're learning about Tiger Woods' obsession with farts?...

Fart-Gate Scandal Blown Wide Open
After what seems like decades of secrecy and lies, America demands to know: Who cut the cheese? Now we may finally have our answer. The conspiracy goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined....and it really stinks....

Fart-Gate Officially The Dumbest Sports "Scandal" Of The Year
So this is actually a thing now? Several major media outlets devoted real newsprint to the mysterious case of Tiger Woods’ non-flatulence. Lawyers got involved. Official statements have been issued. Answers have been demanded. How did this come to be?...

Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open
Unless CBS had a special microphone right next to his ass, it doesn't seem plausible that Woods could be the culprit. Yes, just a few seconds before blast-off, we see Woods loosening his hamstrings by kicking his legs up behind him, followed by the alleged fart, then a shot of he and caddy Steve Wil...

Food And Drink For Thought With Natalie Gulbis
The Evian Masters offered car service and breakfast and a private golf critique on the Hudson with Natalie Gulbis, and when someone offers a town car, an omelet bar and golf lessons with a star, it's generally polite to accept....

Tom Watson And His New Eyes Take Early Lead At British Open
Watson shot a 65 in the first round. Others in contention include Mark O'Meara and Mark Calcavecchia. No, you didn't accidentally get sucked into a wormhole. [Fanhouse]...

The LPGA Continues To Ratchet Up The Crazy
The next time I'm hacking away on my local muni, I'm going to pretend like I'm snowboarding, because that's what Italian golfer Giulia Sergas does. Imaginary frostbite nipping at my windwhipped nose, I'll fit right in with the LPGA....

There Will Be No Lady Tiger In Red This Sunday
Tiger Woods' niece, Cheyenne Woods, missed the cut by three strokes in her first LPGA tournament this weekend. Just 18-years-old, she qualified for the tournament on a sponsor's exemption. Wonder why. Now tweet about it, please. [AP]...