pitt Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

Of All The Horrible Moves The NHL Has Made, This Is...Maybe Not Even Top 10
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jack Wilson, Ian Snell Released From Pirate Jail
Pittsburgh gives Seattle their shortstop and a nervous nellie pitcher in exchange for a vanload of prospects and an autographed picture of Sasquatch. [MLB.com]...

Pirates Try To Give Seats Away, Fail Miserably
In anticipation of low ticket sales for the Nationals' visit, Pittsburgh tried out an innovative promotion that could have made winners of everyone. They made the mistake of tying the promotion to their success on the field....

One Fan Who Wasn't Invited To Super Mario's Pool Party
No wonder the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. They had a homeless, bipolar man sending them Christian music CDs, notes with dietary suggestions — no sweets! — and vitamin tips. And people say home ice is an advantage. [Post-Gazette/Puck Daddy]...

What Exactly Is Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Anyway?
Now that the people who care have had time to survey and digest the complaint against Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger, a clearer picture has emerged about the accuser and her allegations and it's not pretty. Here's an attempt to summarize:...

ESPN Breaks Its Silence On Ben Roethlisberger
Fantasy Alert: Big Ben is listed as probable for Week 1 (knee, sexual assault lawsuit.) Adjust your rosters accordingly. [ESPN]...

Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Sexual Assault
WTAE-Pittsburgh reports that a Nevada casino employee has filed a civil lawsuit against Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, accusing him of sexual assault. His attorney denies the charge. More tomorrow, obviously, when Feel Good Story Week continues. [WTAE-TV; PFT]...

Warning: Don't Give Sidney Crosby Money On MySpace
Believe it or not, Sidney Crosby's MySpace page does not actually belong to Sidney Crosby! Oh, and if you gave the person who does run that page $500 to help save a park, you're an idiot....

Rinku Singh, The Body Electric
Singh, Pirates farmhand and vaguely neocolonial subject, struck out the only batter he faced Monday to become what's believed to be the first India-born player to win a professional baseball game in the States. [AP]...

Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

Nationals And Pirates Combine To Make Pretty Decent Baseball Team
Houston and Washington had some unfinished business yesterday, wrapping up a suspended game that took two months, two cities and three teams to complete. And the winning pitcher got the decision while taking a nap in Philadelphia....

Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A <em>Moneyball</em> Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this....

Playing For Pittsburgh Makes Ian Snell Depressed
Add Ian Snell to the list of baseball players struggling with mental issues this season. The good news is that he seems to found a causal link between his crippling depression and playing baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates....

Rinku and Dinesh Debut
Okay, this isn't exactly crucial stuff in light of recent developments, but in a bit of good news, the hard-throwing brothers pitchers from India/Pittsburgh Pirates prospects both made an appearance for the team's Gulf Coast League affiliate today....

Soderbergh's <i>Moneyball</i> Script Too Real To Get Made
The Sony Pictures executive who pulled the plug on Moneyball says that Steven Soderbergh changed the original script because he didn't want anything in the movie that didn't actually happen. So Billy Beane isn't a sweaty, foul-mouthed, Hooters waitress slayer?...

Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....

Sidney Crosby's Wild Stanley Cup Orgy
I know this is every man's fantasy, but does Sid the Kid know where that Cup has been? Wrap it up, buddy. [Sports Crackle Pop, via TheScore]...

<em>Moneyball</em>'s Deep-Sixed
Break out the baseball puns! Columbia has dropped Steven Soderbergh's Moneyball adaptation like an overvalued, arbitration-eligible pitcher after a career year. Why, it's as if producers made a running, 20-foot backhand flip to cut down the movie at the plate....

Troy Polamalu Joins The Iranian Resistance
First Ohio State, now Pittsburgh? The I-70 corridor is very big in Tehran. [PSAMP]...