port Page 586 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barstool Sports Hires Old Weirdo To Make Racist Jokes
Barstool Sports recently hired Michael McCarthy, who ran a site called TakeAReport.com back in the early days of blogging. Then a VP at Citigroup, McCarthy used the site to pseudonymously share musings such as, “Although I’m pretty sure you don’t condone the drugging and subsequent raping of female ...
Bleacher Report Founder Wins Right To Put His Sweaty Hands All Over The Gawker Archives
The archives of our former sister site Gawker now belong to this goon. Bryan Goldberg, the founder of Bleacher Report, a sports site for idiots, and Bustle, the women’s site that assumes women are stupid, won the rights to the defunct Gawker.com in a bankruptcy auction today, as reported by the Wall...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Plucky Little Lemon Rolling Its Way To Freedom
Are you ready to be surprisingly invested in the fate of a lemon? Are you ready to cheer, to gasp, to thrill as an indomitable citrus rolls ever onward, besting the gutter forces arrayed against it? ...
Pizza Boy John Schnatter Resigns From Louisville Board Of Directors After Admitting To Offensive Conference Call Statements
Pizza dipshit John Schnatter reportedly resigned from the University of Louisville Board of Trustees Wednesday, after admitting to using the n-word in a conference call with marketing executives in May....
Giants Lineman A.J. Francis Says TSA Spilled His Mom's Ashes All Over His Suitcase
New York Giants defensive tackle A.J. Francis spent the past week with family and friends in Arkansas and California following the June death of his mother, Carrie Leanne Francis. On Monday morning after a flight, Francis posted a photo of the inside of his suitcase, which had been searched by the T...
Fox's John Strong Is America's Voice For An America-Free World Cup
John Strong was eating at Jake’s Famous Crawfish, a Portland, Oregon institution since 1892, when Portland Timbers President of Business Mike Golub offered him his dream job. Strong, who was 25 years old at the time, jumped at the chance to become the voice of his hometown soccer team as it moved up...
AAU Contest Ends In Massive Brawl Between Players And Referees
This is madness. An AAU game being held in Emerson, Georgia descended into violent chaos in the final minute when players from Chicago’s R.A.W. Athletics got into a massive brawl with at least one of the referees:...
ESPN Nukes Its Comment Sections, Unfairly Silencing Thousands Of Morons
No longer will you be able to read an ESPN.com article and then underneath receive the dumbest possible reactions to it. The Worldwide Leader has phased out its Facebook-hybrid comment sections, as confirmed by a company spokesperson this week. None of the keyboard mashing will be archived—they will...
For The Last Time: NFL Ratings Are Not Down. They're Up, Compared To Everything Else
I am once again forced to use this space to explain something that is evident to anyone who has been paying attention to the nature of the television industry over the past few years....
This Tour De France Is Designed To Stop Chris Froome<em></em>
The time has come once again for a few hundred skinny fellows to hop on their bikes and ride unconscionable distances, every day, for three weeks. They’ll yell at each other in various European languages, celebrate famous victories, weep over crushing defeats, crash out in horrifying ways, and gener...
Virtually No One In San Diego Is Listening To Sports Radio Goon Dan Sileo
You may ask, “Who is Dan Sileo?” Reader, you are lucky—and not alone. The ex-Miami Hurricanes football player and sports radio lunk, who has twice been fired for moronic remarks, is drawing in no listeners on the disastrous San Diego radio station 97.3 The Fan....
Edinson Cavani Leads The Shithouse Kings Of Uruguay To Victory Over Portugal
Uruguay are the masters of ugly. Their style of play is defined by lining up 11 guys who want to sprint around for 90 minutes kicking the shit out of the ball and the opposition, taking the so-called beautiful game and shoulder-barging it into the muck and grime of the pitch, and trying to emerge fr...
Barstool Sports Founder Tells Employee She'll Be Too Ugly To Be On Camera In Five Years
During yesterday’s edition of Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy said that one of his employees, 20-year-old Ria Ciuffo, would be too ugly to continue as an on-camera personality in five years. “She...
South Korea's Performance Is Why The World Cup Exists<em></em>
If there’s one thing that will really stick with me from this morning’s World Cup action, it isn’t Mexico spending 90 minutes stress-barfing all over themselves. Neither is it the shock of defending champion Germany failing to get out of the group stage. What I’ll most likely remember long after thi...
Iranian Goalie Who Exposed Ronaldo As A Fraud Went From Being A Homeless Runaway To The World Freaking Cup
Portugal was denied the full three points in their 1-1 draw against Iran today, thanks in massive part to a save from Iranian goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand on a Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. Ronaldo, who failed to score today, was newly exposed as a massive fraud when his attempt at a powerful sho...
Weird FS1 Segment: Say What You Will About Joseph Stalin, But He Had A Sick House
Today’s World Cup coverage on Fox Sports 1 featured a short segment produced by National Geographic, in which a reporter gave viewers a light-hearted tour of Joseph Stalin’s dacha while going to some remarkable lengths to avoid mentioning that Stalin was a brutal dictator who was responsible for the...
The Pirates Want Sports Gambling Revenue To Fund Stadium Upkeep
With the Supreme Court paving the way for the legalization of sports gambling last month, sports leagues and teams have quietly dropped their longstanding opposition to gambling and have a new question: How can we get a cut?...
SB Nation May Like The Brands More Than Good Interviews
SB Nation published a blog about how Joel Embiid likes a soda that the soda company pays him to say he likes. Yes, it’s as embarrassing and pointless as it sounds....
Barstool Sports Stooges Try To Explain Why Corey Lewandowski's "Womp Womp" Was Actually Funny
On Tuesday, former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski displayed a shocking lack of humanity when he went on Fox News and responded to a story about a 10-year-old migrant girl with Down Syndrome being taken away from her mother at a border facility by saying, “womp womp” in a mocking ton...