port Page 849 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pablo Sandoval Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault
Rehab was going pretty well for San Francisco's third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, until sometime mid-afternoon Friday: working out and rehabbing on his own, enjoying a break from the daily grind of Major League Baseball, getting a little "consensual, personal relationship of a sexual nature" action....

Muhammad Ali Is Still The Greatest
The NCAA tournament came to Louisville Tucson this weekend, and the GOAT decided to take in last night's Arizona-UL game in his hometown retirement refuge. Unfortunately, his Cardinals were trounced by the Wildcats, but that's not the most regrettable aspect of the evening. ESPNU's cameras lingered...

Santana No-Hitter Gets Asterisk In St. Louis
I've never read the St. Louis Post-Dispatch before in my life, but I have to say, this cover page right here, correctly noting that Johan Santana was aided by a blown call at third base, is about as unbiased as it gets. Anyone crying "homerism" just doesn't get it....

Does Our Mystery Mets Dong Belong To Ike Davis?
Last night we showed you a sneak peak inside the Mets locker room provided by SNY. Today, an industrious reddit user has taken several context clues and mashed them together with a few inferences and a dash of "sure, I measured the length between my penis and the floor" to come to the conclusion th...

Do Not Ask Kurt Busch About His Probation, Or He Will Threaten To Beat The Shit Out Of You
Resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch continued his campaign of jackassery Saturday after the Nationwide Series race at Dover today, verbally attacking a reporter who dared to ask about the probation NASCAR imposed after Busch's May 12 incident with Ryan Newman....

AP Discovers That SEC Schools Do Not Take Marijuana Use As Seriously As The NCAA
The Associated Press has a really long article about all this research they did with regard to smoking pot in the SEC. The long and the short of it is this: different schools police themselves differently and they all are much more lenient on their own stoner scholar athletes than the NCAA....

Today In Photograph And Caption Synergy: Caroline Wozniacki Shits A Return
Maybe she had a stomach bug? Maybe she was tired of all the 40-all scores? Whatever the reason, Woz laid a stinker on the court at the French Open today and was ousted by Estonian Kaia Kanepi, 6-1, 6-7 (3-7) 6-3....

ESPN's Brad Daugherty Promos NBA Playoff Game As "Paul Pierce & The Celtics Vs. LeBron James & The Officials"
ESPN analyst Brad Daugherty is one of the network's best NASCAR minds, but it was in basketball that he originally made his fortune. Thus, the NASCAR Countdown studio crew handing the reins for the promo reader of tomorrow night's Eastern Conference Finals game over to Daugherty was probably obvio...

LaMarcus Aldridge Rushed To Hospital With "Deadly" Blood Virus, Writes LaMarcus Aldridge
While he has been rehabbing from hip surgery in May, LaMarcus Aldridge has been posting on his blog called LA's Rehab Central, part of the Trail Blazers Bloggers Network. The other two posts on the blog are quick updates about how his rehab is progressing. They are pretty innocuous posts along the ...

Bubba Watson Involved In Menacing Late-Night Car Chase
So this is a weird one, and it's from Ohio. Bubba Watson was in Columbus this week for the Memorial Tournament—a tournament for which he did not make the cut. But he has a pretty good excuse: for 37 minutes Tuesday night, some unknown driver chased a car carrying Watson, his wife and newly adopted ...

Florida's Jonathon Crawford Threw The First Postseason No-Hitter In 21 Years Last Night
#1 Florida's opening-round NCAA tournament game against Bethune-Cookman proved history-making, as sophomore pitcher Jonathon Crawford no-hit the Wildcats for the Gators' first solo no-hitter since May 23, 1991—when John Burke kept Furman hitless....

Johan Santana No-Hit The Cardinals, Carlos Beltran Still Pissing Off Mets Fans
Johan Santana threw the first no-hitter in New York Mets history last night and, of course, it all hinged on Carlos Beltran. In the top of the sixth, Beltran hit a rocket down the third base line that was ruled foul and was clearly fair. It would be much ado about nothing, since these things happen...

Michelle Beadle's Final Day At ESPN Included A Licking From Mackerel Jordan
The very first time Deadspin mentioned Michelle Beadle, it was to feature a video of her being eaten by inflatable ZOOperstars mascot Mackerel Jordan. It's fitting, then, her departure from ESPN (a nine minute long staged ceremony that was equal parts sweet and contrived) had her saying goodbyes to...

Which Mets Player's Dong Did SNY Broadcast After Santana's No-Hitter? (NSFW)
SNY went justifiably nuts after Johan Santana pitched the Mets' first no-hitter, and the team's flagship network took advantage of the occasion to interview various Mets players about the feat. So here's a clip of their interview with pitcher R.A. Dickey, during which an unidentified dong emerges ...

Bobcats Try To Push The Narrative That Michael Jordan <i>Didn't</i> Pick Adam Morrison
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Now he's all Bernie Bickerstaff's fault....

Soccer Fan Invades Pitch, Joins Match, Scores Goal
Most pitch invaders (and Idiots On The Field in general) earn a quick bouncing by security officials, but that isn't what happened Wednesday night in Montenegro as a supporter of FK Budućnost Podgorica leapt onto the field in the final moments of his side's league-clinching match against FK Lovćen...

This Is The Most Terrifying Girls Lacrosse Photo You Will Ever See
Some piping hot Connecticut girls lacrosse scores to bring you: Darien beat Guilford 15-4 in the first round of the class M state tournament despite their head coach's suspension. (I'm from Guilford and could have told you that would happen—we, like Darien, are an old shoreline town of approximately...

Sometimes A Horse's Ass Can Be Found On The Top Of The Horse
The NBA Western Conference Finals moved to Oklahoma City yesterday, and the Sooner State was happy to welcome TNT's Inside The NBA crew, especially Charles Barkley. OKC officials provided Sir Charles this mount, which when asked later by reporters if Chuck was "light in the saddle," replied "Neigh....

Now A New York TV Station Thinks The Islanders Are Playing The Kings In The Stanley Cup Finals
Media ignorance to the NHL playoffs continues, as tonight's 6 p.m. WABC newscast featured a graphic not only suggesting the New York Islanders were in the Stanley Cup Finals but text to that effect as well. As inexcusable as the various mistakes made in identifying the Kings by Los Angeles media af...

Was This (Presumably Yankees) Fan Announcing Plans To Divorce His Wife On-Camera At Last Night's Game?
Last night reader Ron alerted us to a bizarre moment during last night's Yankees-Angels game when a fan behind the New York dugout flips the bird to the camera, removes his wedding ring, then flips the bird again. We're presuming he's a Yankees fan because of his seat location and the fact that he...