port Page 857 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Merril Hoge's Little Tie Is Adorable
ESPN NFL analyst Merril Hoge is a connoisseur of the cravat, and has drawn a reputation for his ridiculously thick knots that would fit in better on the set of Barney Miller than that of NFL Live. A segment today forced Hoge to remove his jacket—and thus revealing that such a wide Windsor comes wit...

NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead
Like many official MLB team broadcasters, NESN features a program centered around the squad's manager. (NESN's version is helpfully titled The Bobby Valentine Show.)...

Vin Scully Raced Jackie Robinson On Ice Skates
For those of us living on the East Coast, there's no better teller of bedtime stories than Vin Scully. The embodiment of a man who has forgotten more about baseball than any of us will ever know, Scully weaves narratives from his 63 years with the Dodgers into his description of the events on-fiel...

Yu Darvish Is A Flamethrower On The Mound, Needs To Light A Match In The Dugout
Texas barbecued Baltimore last night 14-3, but it was Japanese pitching phenom Yu Darvish who appears to have smoked out the dugout with some nasty flatulence....

Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012
The Clippers' Nick Young entered Staples Center last night clad in what appears to be a fortune teller's tablecloth turned into a shirt, except there wasn't enough fabric and they had to patch in some denim....
!["Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lxhqrz8d7vjpng.png)
"Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Today's Blackburn-Wigan Match Was Interrupted By A Chicken
Blackburn Rovers are facing relegation from the Premiership, and need a win against WIgan Athletic today to even have a chance at staying in England's top soccer division. Perhaps as a statement against absentee owners, a chicken bearing the Blackburn flag was unleashed onto the pitch early in to...

"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...
![And Here's A Woman Stumbling Out Onto The Court During Tonight's Nuggets-Lakers Playoff Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
And Here's A Woman Stumbling Out Onto The Court During Tonight's Nuggets-Lakers Playoff Game [UPDATE]
We're used to our idiots on the field being male and at baseball games, but stereotypes be damned! We had a woman try to join the action in Denver tonight as the Nuggets and Lakers wound down the first half of their Game Four matchup. ...

Now Bryce Harper Has Started Stealing Home
As if the young man needed to do even more audacious things, Nationals rookie sensation Bryce Harper stole home during a Cole Hamels pickoff attempt in the first inning of tonight's game against the Phillies. Some balls this guy has! (That is just an assumption that as a professional baseball playe...

Albert Pujols Finally Hits Home Run, Is The Nicest Human Being In The World
It was bound to happen and it could not have happened to a better player human being. One day after Mike Scioscia sat the struggling first baseman, Pujols came back and knocked one out of the park-his first of the year. It was just the kind of classy and professional move expected of a player of Al...

Here Is A Drawing Of A George Brett-Faced Half Man-Half Unicorn Creature
Sometimes you're just plugging along, minding your own business when out of nowhere you get a tip that includes a drawing of a nude-colored George Brett/Unicorn with a rainbow flowing out of his/its horn....

Former New York Yankee Great Jim Leyritz Will Be At A Penn Station Bookstore Next Thursday
Here's something: A bookstore in the commuter centrifuge that is Penn Station will host a Jim Leyritz book signing event for a book—Catching Heat—that came out almost a year ago....

Amar'e Stoudemire To Start For Knicks In Game 4 Against Miami Heat
Less than a week after "half his hand was just hanging off" Amar'e will start for the Knicks today in what will most likely be New York's final game of the season....

Mark Grace Helpfully Used The Telestrator To Inform Diamondbacks Fans About Technical Difficulties
Faced with an audio problem during today's D'Backs-Mets broadcast on Fox Sports Arizona, analyst Mark Grace took matters into his own hands—literally—by using the telestrator to let viewers know why they weren't hearing anything. ...
![Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lsx3t1ztkxijpg.jpg)
Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]
Unfortunately that is not the name of the next Sue Grafton novel. Word out of Lexington is that a man's body was found in a barn behind Churchill Downs after the running of the first leg of the Triple Crown last night. A spokeswoman for the Louisville police, Alicia Smiley, confirmed that the death...

Is Jonny Gomes The Biggest Douchebag In Baseball?
The scene: May 5, 2012. The 13-14 Oakland Athletics and the 19-8 Tampa Bay Rays are all tied up in the 10th 12th inning in Tampa when Jonny Gomes steps to the plate. Gomes would give the Athletics the lead when he hit a baseball the smallest distance possible for a ball to be hit and still be consi...

Eli Manning Has A Banana For A Penis
Eli Manning's appearance hosting Saturday Night Live last night was passable, lacking any real groaner moments but nothing especially memorable, either. Well, except for Manningbananapenis....

Clint Dempsey's 50th Premiership Goal Was Fittingly Beautiful
Clint Dempsey's outstanding run of form this season continued this morning as he opened the scoring of today's Fulham-Sunderland match with a fantastic free kick goal, his 50th in the English Premier League....

High School Students In New England Face Suspension From Team Activity For Racist Joel Ward Tweets
After Joel Ward of the Washington Capitals eliminated the Boston Bruins from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, we showed you the racist underbelly of Twitter as users strained to find new and interesting ways to insult a black man. Not only were those users exposed as the knuckle dragging neanderthals they ...