port Page 955 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On With The Big Show, Again
ESPN SportsCenter purists who long for the days of Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann's dry witticism- infused sports highlights should now rejoice at their cubicles until your employer calls security and has you escorted out of the building....

Thank You New Zealand, For Making Rugby Fun Again
Rugby or porn? Previously, New Zealand TV viewers had to choose. But on Sunday someone apparently decided, why can't we have both? So for nearly four glorious minutes, a "Grass Roots Rugby" match on Sky TV — which I suppose is cable over there — was suddenly replaced with hardcore porn. Key sentence...

Mike And The Mad Dog: Divorce Inevitable?
Newsday's Neil Best broke the news that New York's all-world radio yappers "Mike and the Mad Dog" may soon be no more and, now, more theories emerge that this could actually happen sooner than later....

Clinton Portis Plays All The Old Hits
We hope whoever takes over this site keeps the Deadspin Hall Of Fame going; it would make us very happy to see that still cruising along in a decade. (We also love that it's so difficult to get in; just one inductee last year!) One of the earliest enshrinees, Clinton Portis, is returning to his old ...

The Death Of Mike And The Mad Dog?
Neil Best wrote a story suggesting that the dynamic sports talk radio duo of Mike Francesa and Chris "Mad Dog" Russo has reached a bitter end. Best relays that industry sources say that the on-air tensions between the two may have finally reached a breaking point and that, unless there is some mira...

When Jelly Wrestling Gets Ugly
Normally I wouldn't deign to write about such a mindless activity as collegiate jelly wrestling, but this story is way too good to pass up. The Daily Mail (via Unprofessional Foul) comes the story of a Cambridge lass who took a match of jelly wrestling a bit too seriously....

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 Japanese Sumo Wrestling. All. Fucking. Day. [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 College World Series: Georgia vs. Stanford. [ESPN] • 2:00 NFL's Greatest Games: 1992 AFC Wild Card, Buffalo Bills vs. Houston Oilers. Frank Fucking Reich. [NFL] • 2:00 LPGA Tour Golf: Wegman's LPGA, Third Round. Pressel time. ...

The TV Selection Today, It's the Pits
What I really need to know, like, soon, is why in Kid Icarus, you die if you go off the screen, even though ten freakin' seconds ago you had just scrolled up from there. Is that a Greek thing? Does the Eggplant Wizard douse the out-of-screen platforms in poisonous ouzo? Or was Pit merely training fo...

Your Monday Cricket Update; And It Ain't Pretty
I'm told that this is newsworthy but I'm in a little over my head here. Anybody out there speak cricket? Supposedly some team of 11-year-olds in Britain got thrashed so completely that all of Europe is talking about it, but I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Was it worse than this...

New England Sports Media Loses Some Of Its Venerable Bodaciousness
Hazel Mae, the sultry NESN lead anchor temptress, will have to find a new sports desk to prop her stair-mastered caboose on top of next year....

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee In A Pringles Can
By anyone's estimation, Frederic J. Baur lived a full life. The organic chemist and food storage technician lived to the ripe old age of 89. He and his wife had two sons and four grandchildren. But chief among his accomplishments, he thought, was his design of the Pringles can. That's why, come chec...

ESPN Confusingly Rids Itself Of Mark Madden's Vileness
Hiring a "shock jock" at a radio station always comes with a certain amount of risk. The lines of good and bad taste are usually drawn up arbitrarily, and punishment for crossing this imaginary line is usually enforced when a certain segment of listeners, advertisers, or executives are personally of...

When The Simpsons Were Edgy, But Not Funny
There've been a lot of Simpsons games throughout the years, few of them any good. The one that stands the test of time was probably the original arcade game. I recommend it today as you watch the Indy 500. So I know what you're asking. "Where am I going to find the original arcade machine?" That rea...

At Least One Jew Went On To Become A Video Game Superhero
There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation behind my false sense of superiority. I blame today's retro video game pick, Solomon's Key. You see, every five levels or so were grouped together by a sign of the Zodiac. It started with Aries and moved forward. Aquarius, my birth mascot, was one of...

Obama's High School First In SI Survey. No Mention Of Ridgemont High
Barack Obama's high school, Punahou of Hawaii, was recently chosen as the school with the top athletic program in the nation by Sports Illustrated. This angered Hillary Clinton, who attended Maine East High in Parkridge, Ill., and John McCain, who was educated through oral tradition and cave drawin...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Jessica Alba finally stares at you for a change... • Boxing: Boxing After Dark. Check out this tremendous card of exciting young fighters, highlighted by that Gamboa character. [HBO] • Classic Boxing: Ali/Frazier III. If you haven't ever seen the Thrilla In Manilla then you aren'...

Previewing the Running of the Horses
The Preakness Stakes is finally upon us and Maryland students couldn't be more eager to get fucked up in celebration (it's not a real party without Scott Van Pelt). Since I know incredibly little about horse racing, I've turned to Randy, a lover of both equines and Deadspin. His words are after the ...

Hey Kids! It's ESPN Rise! (Kill Me Now)
Those old enough to remember the launch of Sports Illustrated For Kids know what fun is in store for America with ESPN's newest venture, ESPN Rise. It's ESPN's attempt to go after the high school demographic with content — including a magazine, programming events and even a presence on SportsCenter...

Greg Oden Needs To Come Back Soon
Greg Oden, honestly, you can't back to the NBA fast enough. We're not sure what's going on with his hair here, but we still love it. We fully expect to run into Oden at, like, half the parties we go to....