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Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....

Mike Leach, Convinced Of His Own Cleverness, Tells Unbearably Long Joke About Lip Reading
Asked Monday evening whether he’s nervous for next week’s matchup against No. 11 Oregon, where four of his former assistants now work, Mike Leach used the opportunity to take a swipe at football coaches so paranoid about their plays being found out that they cover their mouths while talking on the s...

The Premier League Title Race Is Just Getting Started
Coming off a season where both the eventual Premier League champions and the runners up were very nearly perfect, you could be forgiven for assuming the eight-point lead Liverpool enjoyed over Manchester City coming into this past weekend to have been almost insurmountable. When the margins separati...

High School Cancels Football Season, Fires Coaching Staff After Suspended Player Suits Up With New Identity
A high school in St. Louis canceled the remainder of its undefeated football team’s season and fired the entire coaching staff after it was revealed that a suspended player suited up in a different uniform and played a game....

WWE Is Banking On Crossover Athletes To Carry Its Next Creepy Saudi Show
When WWE signed a deal with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia last year, only the basics of the pact with the Gulf dictatorship were clear—biannual shows, in the kingdom, in exchange for a massive payday. Everything beyond that was difficult to imagine at the time, and became more and more difficult to ju...

These Michigan Student Section Shirts Were Free, But How Many Millions Are They Worth Now?
I’ll maintain that, given the amount of long-term punishment these shirts have all taken, they remain in perfectly acceptable shape. Every one of the Michigan student section shirts appraised for this episode of Antiques Shitshow has survived sweaty pregames, freezing-cold waits in line, and the ele...

Gross, Someone Let Their Cat Puke In The Stanley Cup
There’s a long and storied history of NHL players putting gross shit in the Stanley Cup in the offseason after they win it all. But whoever let their cat vomit up this hairy this mound of flesh-colored puke into the Cup yesterday owes everybody an apology. In the past, the trophy’s been filled with...

The Siege And Fall Of A Hoops Haven That Made All The Wrong Enemies
In Philadelphia, a ghost was born....

Iron-Skulled Lad Scores Header From Beyond Halfway Line
I don’t care that this goal was only possible due to a goalkeeping boner. I don’t care that it was scored in England’s seventh division, where the pitches are much smaller than in the top leagues. I don’t even care that there’s zero chance the scorer meant to do what he did. Regardless of all that, ...

LeBron James, One Day After Tossing Daryl Morey Under A Bus: "I Won't Talk About It Again"
LeBron James finally spoke on Monday about the outsized controversy surrounding Daryl Morey’s deleted tweet supporting pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong. LeBron’s position was weak and transparently cynical, and he took a justified beating for sharing it, and ultimately spent part of his Monday ...

This Is Just Some Delightful Baserunning From The Astros
The Houston Astros doubled their lead against the Yankees in the seventh inning of Game 3 this evening, not with the fancy-pants longballs that initially gave them a 2-0 advantage, but with some gritty, scrappy, heads-up baserunning that was unironically delightful to watch. Through just one hit and...

Let's Not Get Too Excited About Tyler Herro, The Greatest Player In The History Of The NBA
He scored Miami’s first 14 points on 5-for-5 shooting in Monday night’s preseason game against the Hawks, but it is probably best not to read too much into 19-year-old rookie Tyler Herro, the greatest shooting guard in the history of the Miami Heat, and for that matter, the NBA. Preseason basketball...

There's No Good Reason For The Los Angeles Chargers To Exist
That photo right there, of Steelers running back James Conner celebrating a touchdown as teammate JuJu Smith-Schuster breaks it down, wasn’t taken anywhere near Pittsburgh. It’s tough to tell at first because of the sea of black and yellow in the background. But then the powder blue banner and the s...

With A Sub-Two-Hour Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge Breaks Distance Running's Most Elusive Barrier
Kenyan marathoner Eliud Kipchoge became the first human to finish a marathon in under two hours on Saturday in Vienna, running the 26.2 miles in 1:59:40, a time long believed impossible. The event in Vienna, a “moonshot” race specially planned to provide Kipchoge with favorable conditions, marked th...

Antiques Shitshow: How Much Is My Ron Artest Kings Jersey Worth, Besides "Everything To Me"?
As I remember it, the decision to buy my white Ron Artest Sacramento Kings jersey was not a reasoning one. The decision to buy a basketball jersey, as someone who will probably only ever wear it during the six days per year that I am at or near a beach, is inherently not a reasonable one. And yet I ...

Members Of Congress Ask Adam Silver To Suspend NBA Activities In China
A day after NBA commissioner Adam Silver released a statement wondering whether everyone couldn’t just get along and enjoy some hoops, eight members of Congress, including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ted Cruz, signed a letter to Silver condemning the the NBA’s response to the controversy over Dary...

We Might Soon Learn If The NFL Exchanged Cover-Up Strategies With Big Tobacco
A New York judge gave a group of insurance companies the go-ahead to seek evidence that the NFL sought to share cover-up strategies with tobacco companies as part of a ferocious, years-long legal battle over which side will pay for claims related to the league’s concussion settlement....

Ben Simmons Hit Another Three! (In A Preseason Game) (Against The Guangzhou Loong Lions)
Ben Simmons’s extreme reluctance to attempt shots from outside the paint during his two healthy NBA seasons has been overshadowed somewhat by both the vastly stranger shooting struggles of a fellow 76ers top pick, and by Simmons’s own general two-way excellence. But his shooting stroke has been badl...

Panicked <i>First Take</i> Host Initiates Commercial Break As Stephen A. Smith Brings Up Israel-Palestine Conflict
At the tail end of First Take’s extended discussion today about the ongoing debacle between the NBA and China, Stephen A. Smith had one final take he wanted to get off. He began auspiciously, if not with his trademark eloquence: “I would remind you that, throughout this world, one of the things that...

This Feels Like The End Of Tottenham's Golden Age
It was all so good just four months ago. Back then, Tottenham were in the midst of their best Champions League run ever, beating Manchester City and Ajax on consecutive last-second magic tricks and getting ready to face Liverpool in the final. What a difference four months can make. ...