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Sixers-Kings Game Cancelled After Philadelphia Stadium Sweats All Over Everything
The Sixers were supposed to tip off against the Kings at 7:07 tonight, but instead of some incompetent basketball, fans in Philly were treated to a bunch of dudes mopping a floor for 20 minutes. Officials decided to postpone the game shortly after, but didn’t make an announcement for an hour. The mo...

Keeper Scores Amazing, Last-Second Bicycle Kick, Caps It With Even Better Celebration
Goalkeeper goals are always special for the simple fact that it’s always great when a goalkeeper scores. But Baroka FC keeper Oscarine Masuluke’s stoppage-time equalizer that he knocked in with a crazy overhead kick, coupled with his crotch-grabbing celebration, deserves a spot in the goalie goal ha...

The Hard Work Is About To Get Harder
Zucotti Park is beautiful in the holiday season. Delicate strings of white lights coat the trees where, just a few years ago, thousands of angry people stomped and plotted and harangued the world during the Occupy Wall Street encampment. Across the street to the east, the warm lights of the Brown Br...

Janoris Jenkins To Terrelle Pryor: "U Really Sucks"
Cleveland Browns wide receiver Terrelle Pryor felt a little miffed after he saw (some of) New York Giants cornerback Janoris Jenkins’s comments on him this week, which added a little animosity to today’s game. The Giants won 27-13, dropping the Browns to 0-12, and Jenkins followed up with a little m...

Scott Tolzien In Primetime: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
All the attention soaked up by the presidential election was one of the possible reasons for the NFL’s season-long ratings malaise, but a few weeks later, nationally broadcast games still aren’t where they used to be....

Arsenal Take 1-0 Lead On "X-Rated" "Horror Story"
Arsenal took an early 1-0 lead on Bournemouth thanks to Steve Cook’s massive boner that Ian Darke called “X-rated”:...

Bob Bradley Becomes First American Manager To Win Premier League Game
With a 5-4 Swansea City victory over Crystal Palace, Bob Bradley became the first American manager to win a game in the Premier League....

Jos Hermens Explains How He's Going To Find A Sub Two-Hour Marathoner
Jos Hermens had been talking for maybe four minutes, and already I had learned that he sexted his wife (he made a gleeful face and texting motions); that Americans are fucking uptight (also uptight about fucking) and that is the problem with our country; that his people, the Dutch, are so happy beca...

Love Is Real: Gucci Mane Got Engaged At The Hawks Game Tonight
Gucci Mane was a distinguished guest of the Hawks tonight, and while the Hawks lost the Bird Derby to the Pelicans, Gucci was the star of the evening. He played a short set during halftime, did a little Mannequin Challenge, and then proposed to his girlfriend Keyshia Ka’oir. The couple was featured ...

J.T. Brown Fights Ryan Ellis, Gets Heckled, Punches Heckler's Phone
J.T. Brown is here to fight, man. After getting blindsided to the ice by Predators defenseman Ryan Ellis, Brown rolled over on top of him and started pummeling him like he was finishing up an MMA knockout. Both men were sent to the penalty box to sit out the dregs of the Predators’ blowout win over ...

What's About To Happen To CNN
For the journalists at CNN—everywhere, really, but especially at CNN—now is an appropriate time to become very afraid. ...

Terrelle Pryor Calls Out Browns' Offensive Line After Cody Kessler Suffers Second Concussion
Today marked the second time in two months that Cleveland Browns quarterback Cody Kessler left a game under concussion protocol. His teammate and receiver Terrelle Pryor sounded frustrated with the team’s poor QB protection....

Clean Football Is Still Football: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
This week was an interesting test case for the NFL in this era of increased scrutiny and public skepticism. The league news was mostly clear of the kinds of self-inflicted embarrassments and setbacks that have become so routine during the Roger Goodell era. For the first time in what seems like a lo...

Why China Is Betting Big On The Premier League<em></em>
Premier League ratings are falling in England and the United States! The live sports rights bubble is bursting! The first of these is definitely true, and the second I believe to be true, but nonetheless Chinese streaming video company PPTV shelled out $700 million for Premier League TV rights, acco...

“You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty JUDE Bitch!”: Trump Voters Send Their Best
Donald Trump is about to be president, a white nationalist is whispering in his ear, and Jeff “The Ku Klux Klan Is Alright By Me” Sessions will soon be our attorney general. We are entering a golden age for racists in America. And according to my inbox, these assholes know it....

Indiana Supreme Court Rules Against ESPN, Says Notre Dame Cops Can Keep All The Secrets They Want
Indiana’s Supreme Court ruled against ESPN and Outside the Line’s Paula Lavigne earlier this week, saying that Notre Dame police could refuse releasing any records it damn well pleases, including police reports requested by ESPN. In doing so, the court reversed an appeals court decision in favor of ...

The Premier League Should Bring Back Standing Sections
The introduction of safe standing was on the agenda at a Premier League meeting today, and reports coming out of it were cautiously optimistic that it could be introduced to the Premier League in the not-so-distant future. That would be a great thing for both fans who attend games and those who watc...

Report: Prep School Football Coach Molested Students For Decades While Administration Looked The Other Way
In a massive, devastating feature up at Esquire, Eric Lewis writes about the sexual abuse carried out by football coach Philip Foglietta at Brooklyn’s Poly Prep Country Day School spanning from the 1960s through the 1980s. The details of the coverup, which ranges from incompetence to intimidation, m...

Ex-Player Fears James Rodríguez Has Become A Whiny Little Brat By Hanging Around Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo is exalted for a great many reasons. He’s also reviled and/or ridiculed for a few others, like his arrogance, his lack of sportsmanship, and his self-centeredness. One retired Colombian player is worried that a compatriot of his, James Rodríguez, has picked up a few too many of Ron...

Oh Hell Yeah Baby, The American Premier League Takeover Is Well Underway
“My seeds, run with his seeds, marry his seeds,” Ghostface once remarked, explaining the strategy by which an influx of money amongst a tight-knit group of individuals can be kept, collected, and grown into a sum that benefits the group for generations. He continued, “That’s how you keep Wu-Tang mon...