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Why Chelsea Should Stick With José Mourinho

This Chelsea season is beginning to feel like that “Sideshow Bob Steps On Rakes For 10 Minutes” video. The first couple self-inflicted thwacks in the face were funny; the next few established the pattern; and when it continued repeating from there it became even more hysterical than ever, leaving yo...

A Rotten, Rotten Week: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today

Woof. It might be hard to remember, now, that the NFL was having a rotten, rotten week before Deadspin uncovered the brutal details of why Greg Hardy was arrested for assaulting his ex-girlfriend....

Missouri Football Players Go On Strike To Force Removal Of School President [UPDATES]

The University of Missouri’s Legion of Black Collegians released a statement tonight from the collective athletes of color on the Tigers football team stating they are on strike from football-related activities until the school president steps down in the wake of several racist acts on campus....

Referee: Irate José Mourinho Cussed Me Out In Dressing Room

Earlier this week, England’s Football Association gave José Mourinho a fine and a one-match ban from the sideline for some sort of behavior that got him sent to the stands during halftime of Chelsea’s 1-2 loss to West Ham. Now we know exactly why: it was because Mourinho freaked the fuck out on the ...

Wins Were All José Mourinho Ever Had To Stand On

The only thing more unfathomable than a historically great manager having his job status seriously questioned just half a season removed from a title, is said manager and club falling apart so thoroughly that the speculation about his imminent demise begins to appear justified. And yet this is exact...

How <i>A Brief History Of Seven Killings</i> Embodies The Real Jamaica

Jamaica’s biannual Calabash International Literary Festival is held in Treasure Beach, on the southwestern coast of the island. It’s the kind of stereotypically beautiful place most people—especially tourists—think of when asked to picture Jamaica. Once a year, the town setting hosts readings from w...

Has An American President Ever Watched Porn In The Oval Office?

Your letters:...

Protesters Abseiling From The Panthers' Stadium Hang Anti-Dominion Banner [UPDATE]

We’ve seen it all. Here are two protesters from We Are Cove Point rappelling from the Panthers’ stadium to hang a banner reading “BOA Dump Dominion.” And unlike most Idiots On The Field, ESPN actually aired them!...

Mount Union Football Coaches Crush It As Pro Wrestlers For Halloween Practice

The Mount Union Purple Raiders are the best team in the history of Division III football, having won 23 straight conference titles and 11 of the past 22 national titles. One of their secrets of success, apparently, is lightening things up at practice. Enjoy the team’s coaches hamming it up as wrestl...

José Mourinho Banned, Sued, And Is Reportedly About To Be Sacked

So Chelsea fans, do you want the bad news, the awful news, or the terrible news first?...

More Proof Gerard Deulofeu Is A Brilliant Lunatic

Here are some highlights from Everton vs. Sunderland, which ended 6-2 in favor of the Toffees thanks in large part to some astounding play from their absurdly gifted young winger, Gerard Deulofeu:...

Arsenal Might Be The Real Deal

Since that beatdown on Manchester United a couple weeks ago, it’s been hard to avoid the sense that this just might be Arsenal’s year. With Chelsea’s continued horrendous form so far this season, United’s unimpressive performances undermining their point total, Liverpool’s lack of consistency, and M...

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A Good Day To Look Away: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL

Let’s take a quick glance around a week’s worth of NFL news before we get to the good stuff:...

Kyle Walker Freaks Out More Tottenham Players With Halloween Prank

Kyle Walker is back as the Tottenham video team’s avatar in their seasonal effort to get the club’s players to squeal like children. Some good shrieks up there, and while Jan Vertonghen’s reaction isn’t quite as stoic as last time, his countryman Mousa Dembélé makes up for it....

"Weird Al" Yankovic Is Every Coach At A Postgame Press Conference

“Weird Al” Yankovic has expanded his abilities to parody. His latest effort takes on the usually dull ritual that is the postgame press conference. The image of Weird Al with short hair might shock you, but move past that....

A Guide To Cleaning Every Possible Halloween Mess (Including Fake Blood)

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Coming Soon To Seattle-Area High School Football: Satanic Invocations (UPDATE)

The legal position on prayer in public school in America is, generally, settled. Across decades of cases, the Supreme Court has held that religion may not be included in school-sponsored activities, but that students may independently gather for religious purposes. But a high school football coach i...

There Are No Innocent Black People

Monday afternoon, video emerged of a white man approaching a small, black girl sitting in a classroom, noosing a thick arm around her neck, slamming her to the ground while she was still entangled in her desk, picking her up again, throwing her some distance across the room, and then again pinning h...

Oh, Wow, The NBA Season Started A Few Hours Ago

Hey, the NBA season started tonight! The first nationally televised game, Cavaliers-Bulls in Chicago, started ... uh, pretty much at the same time as Game 1 of the World Series. The late game started a while ago. That’s dumb. I hope you’re watching the World Series....