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The Oakland A's Are Lonely
This is part of an occasional series comprising MLB season previews....
Taking "Lack Of Context" To Terrifying New Extremes
“Context.” What does it mean? Do we really need it? Is it possible to write an entire, outraged newspaper column without any context at all?...
Asdrubal Cabrera Got Ejected While Running To First
Spring training is a long, monotonous motherfucker, and playing meaningless games day after day appears can fry the patience of players and umps alike. During the fourth inning of a game between the Mets and the Nationals this afternoon, Asdrubal Cabrera managed to get himself ejected in the middle ...
Wayne Rooney's Potential Return To Everton Actually Makes Lots Of Sense
It’s long felt inevitable that one of these days Everton’s prodigal son Wayne Rooney would return home. Judging from a report in the Independent that quotes sources close to Everton and Manchester United as believing the move is “likely to happen” this summer, we might be mere months away from seein...
Italian Soccer Guy Playing In England Misses Pasta And The Sun
Italy’s Andrea Ranocchia joined Premier League stragglers Hull City this season, hoping to work his way back on to the Italian national team. In the meantime, he’s doing his best to adjust to life in England, but there a couple things from Italy he really misses. Namely, pasta and sunshine. ...
Internecine Broadcast Conflict Breaks Out During Pirates Spring Training Game
During today’s spring training game between the Pirates and Rays, the Pirates broadcast team decided to try a fun experiment. The TV and radio color commentators (Steve Blass, Bob Walk, and John Wehner) would handle the TV broadcast, while the guys who usually do play-by-play on the radio (Joe Block...
Fake Strongmen Fool Morning News Shows, Create Deeply Stupid TV
Local morning news shows have a lot of air to fill each day. So when a pair claiming to be an inspirational strongman duo blasted out a press release—citing a nonexistent tour and an America’s Got Talent appearance, and offering no video or documentation—they were immediately booked by seven differe...
Netherlands Baseball Player, Busy Gloating Over A Single, Gets Thrown Out At First
In the World Baseball Classic semifinal between Puerto Rico and the Netherlands, Dutchman Jurickson Profar got ahead of himself while celebrating a first-inning single to right field. Puerto Rico’s right fielder threw a rocket to catcher Yadier Molina to hold up the runner at third, and then, as Pro...
John Elway Writes Letter Endorsing Supreme Court Nominee, For Some Reason
There are a great many topics on which one might seek the wisdom of former Hall-of-Fame quarterback and current Broncos GM John Elway. For instance: how to throw a football real far, or how to avoid paying a shit-ton of money to a bad QB just because he can throw a football real far....
The Rockies Think They Can Win, Now They Just Have To Go Do It
This is part of an occasional series comprising MLB season previews....
South African Soccer Player Accidentally Thanks Both Wife And Girlfriend In Post-Game Talk
The South African Premier League’s Mohammed Anas won Man of the Match for his two goals in yesterday’s Free State-Cape Town game. Good stuff! Except for his acceptance speech, in which he thanked both his wife and girlfriend (before backtracking to assure his wife that, really, he loves her so much)...
The Red Sox Have Chris Sale And That's Really All That Matters
This is part of an occasional series comprising MLB season previews....
The Dodgers Somehow Pull Off The Trick Of Being Rich And Charming
This is part of an occasional series comprising MLB season previews....
Romelu Lukaku Knows He Has Outgrown Everton
It’s not quite the juiciest quote from Romelu Lukaku’s wide-ranging media session with reporters Tuesday, during which he clarified just how serious his desire is to play for a truly great, title-challenging team—be that at Everton or, more likely, elsewhere—but this response to a question about whe...
Hockey Players Fight, Discuss Their Summer Workout Plans
Sharks defenseman Brenden Dillon was wearing a microphone in Saturday’s game against Nashville, and he fought Predators center Austin Watson. The two spent most of their time grunting and jostling; while serving their time in the penalty box, Dillon and Watson realized they had to work out better th...
New Orleans Player Chokes Teammate, Gets Benched
UNO lost by one (which I swear is not intended as a pun) in their NCAA Tournament play-in matchup against Mount St. Mary’s, and there were precisely two highlights, both involving New Orleans’s junior forward Travin Thibodeaux....
Paul Pogba Is Good
If the statement in the headline of this post—Paul Pogba is good—seems ridiculous to you, too trivially obvious to be worth saying, then you’re in luck, because it means you haven’t had your mind numbed by some of the predictably over-the-top criticism he has been subject to since joining the Premie...
José Mourinho Believes He Did Chelsea A Huge Favor By Being So Terrible Last Season
José Mourinho thinks he deserves credit for Chelsea’s success this season. You can tell that this is true because he has said the exact opposite....
Blue Jays Pitcher T.J. House Leaves Field In Ambulance After Being Hit By Line Drive
A spring training game between the Blue Jays and Tigers was called off in the bottom of the ninth after Jays pitcher T.J. House left the field in an ambulance....
Lawsuit: DEA Warnings Didn't Stop NFL Doctors From Repeatedly Breaking Federal Drug Law<em></em><em></em>
An exhibit attached to a lawsuit filed by former players against the 32 NFL teams in federal court in San Francisco contains a log appearing to show audited instances of NFL teams traveling with controlled substances in violation of federal regulations....