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Dundee's Gary Harkins Celebrates Goal By Getting RKO'd
Today in Scottish Premier League action, Dundee defeated Motherwell 3-1. Gary Harkins scored Dundee's second goal in the 30th minute, and his goal celebration was pretty outstanding....

Chelsea's Brilliant Team Goal Is The Best Of The Season
We knew what we were seeing last year when Jack Wilshere finished off that intricate Arsenal move, and we know what we saw today: the best team goal we're going to see in England this season....

Sunderland Defender's Exquisite Volley Makes For Wonderful Own Goal
Above, Sunderland's Santiago Vergini shows off some impressive technical ability as he takes a bouncing ball and cracks it past the keeper. It would've been worthy of his personal highlight reel, if it hadn't been aimed at his own net. But for an own goal, this was a beaut....

José Mourinho Doesn't Intend To Stop Being An Asshole Any Time Soon
José Mourinho is feeling himself right now. He has the best team in England, maybe the best in the world, and they're firing on all cylinders. So his typically dismissive response to a recent controversy involving other coaches' not taking too well to his celebratory handshake routine isn't surpri...

David Moyes, On What We All Saw Coming: "I Really Didn't See It Coming"
Former Manchester United manager, laughingstock, and amateur golfer David Moyes has stayed pretty quiet since getting canned before last season's end. (Publically, at least. Don't come at him sideways at a wine bar.) Today, he spoke to the Guardian, expressing a frankly unbelievable level of naive...

Wrestling Legend Mick Foley Interviews Michael Morse On MLB Network
We love when old-time wrestling heroes intersect with "real" sports, so it was a treat on MLB Network this afternoon when Mick Foley joined the MLB Now panel for an interview with San Francisco's Michael Morse. Tune in for the Daniel Bryan conversation, stay for the reference to Mick Foley not hav...

MLS Commissioner Has Some Dumb Shit To Say About Jürgen Klinsmann
USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann has taken up one of his favorite pastimes recently: criticizing the U.S.'s subpar domestic soccer. Last week, Klinsmann made waves by coming out in support of a promotion-relegation system. On Tuesday, he took time to lament the return to MLS of America's best players, n...

NPR: Ebola Might Make Chocolate Expensive (While Killing Lots Of People)
Yeesh. Lotta scary Ebola news these days. Between the situation in Africa seemingly spiraling beyond anyone's control, a botched containment job at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital, and exposed people breaking quarantine to go strolling around New Jersey, presumably barfing Ebola blood on school...

Ball State Football Players Allegedly Involved In "Poo Dollar" Prank
The "poo dollar" is a prank in which a person—likely a teen because teens are the absolute worst—wipes their ass with a dollar and then leaves it on the ground so that an unsuspecting mark will them come and pick it up and get poop all over their hand. According to police, three Ball State football ...

Derek Roy Makes Miraculous Goal Line Clearance
Flames forward Devin Setoguchi had to have thought, if only for a split second, that he scored. Ninety-five percent of the puck crossed the goal line on his shot, but before that final five percent could, Predators center Derek Roy backhanded it away. This is why we have goal line technology....

FA Charges Rio Ferdinand With Misconduct, Probably For "Yo Mama" Joke
The English FA can't really be this uptight, can they? Today, the Premier League's governing body has announced that it has charged QPR's Rio Ferdinand with misconduct for a Tweet of his, without mentioning the specific one. It appears that it is this little bit of humor, sent to a bantering Mancu...

Mike Nugent's Missed Field Goal Was The Costliest Play Of Week 6
On the last play of a tied overtime game Mike Nugent missed a chip-shot field goal, which would have won the game for the Bengals. The miss led to the first tie in the NFL this season and was the most detrimental play of the week. According to data from Brian Burke of Advanced Football Analytics...
![Man In Wheelchair Claims Eagles Fan Stole His Prosthetic Leg At Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fk5ng6hfqp4tad9ltiz0.png)
Man In Wheelchair Claims Eagles Fan Stole His Prosthetic Leg At Game [UPDATE]
This is a new one. Sonny Forriest, Jr., an Eagles fan in a wheelchair who sings outside Lincoln Financial Field, says a woman wearing Eagles apparel stole his prosthetic leg Sunday night....

Ronnie Price Loses Shoe, Turns Over Ball, Throws Shoe, Gets Technical
Via @cjzero, here's Lakers point guard Ronnie Price losing his shoe, turning over the ball, and throwing the shoe at Andre Iguodala in an attempt to play defense. The shoe throw didn't work, of course, and Price received a technical foul for his innovation....

Why Paul Newman Just Got Better With Age
This week's curation at the Beast is Peter Richmond's fine 1995 GQ profile of Paul Newman:...

Low Socks and Chop Blocks: Why And How To Avoid Watching The NFL Today
So, you may have heard, the NFL fined Colin Kaepernick $10,000 for wearing the wrong headphones to a post-game presser last Sunday....

Jürgen Klinsmann Wishes America Would Adopt Promotion And Relegation
It's another international fixture break, which means it's another opportunity for Jürgen Klinsmann to get his message out to the media, which means it's yet another chance for him to criticise America's domestic leagues. This time, his beef is with the lack of promotion and relegation....

It's Time To Fall Back In Love With Prince
So Prince put out two sneaky-great new albums last week, and it's understandable that your impulse was to ignore or at least wildly underestimate them, but yeah, don't....

The NHL Probably Shouldn't Hire Chris Pronger, Who's Still A Flyer
Chris Pronger hasn't played since 2011, but he remains under contract with the Flyers through 2017. That alone seems like enough to preclude Pronger taking a job in the league office. You'd think! ...

The Thinking Fan's Guide To The 2014-15 NHL Season
We enter a very different NHL after the "Summer of Stats," and we have the Maple Leafs to thank....