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Rory McIlroy Made Shane McMahon Disappear For Five Years
Remember this guy? We’re pretty sure his last TV appearance was being the first to congratulate Rory McIlroy on blowing the 2011 Masters with a round of 80, nearly five years ago. Shane McMahon returned to Raw tonight, where we learned the CEO’s son will be taking on The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. ...
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
You Wanna See Pablo Sandoval's Big Spring Training Belly?
Yeah you do....
Rangers Fan Hits A Dinger To Win Season Tickets For His Whole Family
The Rangers held the following contest today for those who put down initial deposits on season tickets: show up to Globe Life Park and smack a ball out of it, and the Rangers would cover the rest of the cost of those tickets. One fan, Byron Anderson, crushed it over the left field fence on his third...
Judge Rejects Darren Sharper's Plea Deal As Too Lenient
It was baffling that Darren Sharper’s plea deal, for pleading guilty to drugging and raping women in four different states, amounted to just nine years of prison time. It was baffling that the NFL safety turned serial rapist could have been a free man by 2023, and it was baffling that the feds, with...
Manchester United Are Toast
With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely....
The Nets Finally Have A GM, And He's Got Less Than Five Hours To Make Some Trades
Well, this sure was unexpected:...
Mikhail Prokhorov's Got Jokes
The Brooklyn Nets don’t have a GM. This is a particularly bad time of year to not have a GM, because unloading some expensive, veteran talent in exchange for draft picks or cap relief is a good way for a bad team to begin trying to unfuck itself. So it was no surprise when Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski...
No One Showed Up To That Anti-Beyoncé Rally, Which Might've Been A Prank To Begin With
A whole bunch of Twitter eggs took offense with Beyoncé’s Super Bowl halftime performance of “Formation,” which used imagery inspired by the Black Panthers. It made excellent copy for the insatiable content mill which we all must feed—it’s good and healthy to make fun of stupid people—but it didn’t ...
Reports: The Heat Are Scared Chris Bosh's Blood Clots Have Returned
Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh pulled out of the All-Star Game because of a strained calf, but stuck around Toronto to enjoy in some of the festivities as his decision not to participate was mostly a precaution. He has since returned to Miami for additional medical tests, and those tests may have ind...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>PAW Patrol</i>
It’s time once again for our ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....
Arsenal Just Took A Sledgehammer To Leicester’s Glass Slippers
You’d be hard-pressed to find a purer distillation of why Arsenal beat Leicester City yesterday 2-1, and of why the Gunners were always likely to eventually run down for the league title the greatest story in sports, than that final fateful sequence....
Wrestling Legend "J.R." Jim Ross Calls The Dunk Contest Final Round
The final round of tonight’s NBA All-Star Weekend dunk contest proved to be one of the most memorable in decades, as Aaron Gordon and Zach LaVine combined for an epic battle—and that’s not hyperbole, as each player’s dunk was met by his opponent with an equally awesome one....
The Sixers Realize They're A Big Joke, Are Now Maybe Trying To Fix That
The Philadelphia 76ers, those smirking pioneers of a remarkably misguided, anti-fun, actuarial, game theory-ass approach to NBA basketball, are now starting to realize that you can’t exactly build a winning basketball team while ignoring, well, the basketball. Back in December, the NBA more or less ...
Marquette Fan Makes Good On Promise To Pay Kris Dunn $10 To Miss A Free Throw
On the grand spectrum of things to yell at an athlete, “I will literally give you $10 if you miss this shot” falls squarely on the funny side. The only way to make that heckle even better is to follow through on the promise, which is exactly what Marquette fan Jamey Schilling did:...
Give Me An NBA One-On-One Tournament During The Boring, Low Energy All-Star Weekend, Or Give Me Death
The NBA’s All-Star Weekend isn’t very interesting anymore. Of the weekend’s three marquee events, only the Three-Point Contest is compelling. Creativity was drained from the Slam Dunk Contest years ago, and the All-Star Game is played with little more effort than I exert brushing my teeth. But there...
Relive Dele Alli's Wondergoal In Hand-Drawn Animated Form
It’s hard to imagine another goal in this season’s Premier League topping that marvelous juggling number Tottenham’s Dele Alli scored a few weeks ago, so it’s only right that this work of art be recreated in another work of art—this time done in crayon. It’s so good both ways....
Sunderland Player Released After Pleading Guilty To Sexual Activity With A Child
A day after Sunderland winger Adam Johnson pleaded guilty to two charges stemming from a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl, the club has reportedly terminated Johnson’s contract:...
Holy Shit, Christen Press's First Touch Will Make Your Knees Buckle
Oh my god look at this first touch from Christen Press. She doesn’t just expertly control a cross whipped into her, but no-look uses the outside of her foot (her heel?!) to gently drop the ball just a few feet in beside her to wheel around and smash home. It should be illegal to be this skilled and ...
Liverpool Fans Get Their Wish As Club Agrees To Two-Year Ticket Price Freeze
Through staunch public opposition, a coordinated stadium walk-out, and a strongly-worded video critique of the squad, the powers that be at Liverpool have scrapped their proposal to raise the prices of tickets....