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A Wink At A Homely Girl

If you don't have good dreams, Bagel, you've got nightmares....

The Greatest Slugger Never To Play In The Major Leagues

As David Ortiz adds to his legend this week—the version that omits any mention of PEDs, of course—let's take a moment to appreciate John Schulian's 2000 SI profile of Josh Gibson:...

Paternos v. NCAA has its day in court: Both sides presented more than three hours of arguments today. Does the family have standing for its lawsuit to proceed? Was the NCAA justified in abandoning procedure to sanction Penn State? A Pennsylvania judge will think it over. [Patriot-News]...

FredEx gets jail: Former Eagles receiver Freddie Mitchell, who pleaded guilty in March to federal tax fraud charges, was sentenced today to 37 months in prison. Mitchell had been facing up to 10 years. At his sentencing hearing, his attorneys said brain trauma was to blame....

Von Miller pleaded guilty to some minor traffic offenses today, but not without being nearly two hours late for his court hearing. [Denver Post]...

The Great Wall Of Boston

Jack Mann's 1965 piece on the Green Monster: ...

Terrelle Pryor Runs 93 Yards Untouched For Touchdown, Sets NFL Record

Well, that read option worked out nicely. Terrelle Pryor's 93-yard dash is the longest run by a quarterback in NFL history and the longest run by anyone in Raiders history. ...

Mourinho So Excited By Torres Winner He Goes Into Stands, Gets Kissed

Last week Chelsea manager José Mourinho went into the stands after being sent off. Today he went back amongst the supporters, but voluntarily after Fernando Torres's 90th-minute winner to down Manchester City. ...

Which TV Market's Getting Screwed Today? Your Week 8 NFL Viewing Maps

A guide to the best and worst of the NFL slate (and to which fans are stuck with the most of worst). Maps via 506sports.com....

Luis Suárez Scores Hat Trick, Is Just Toying With People Now

Liverpool are playing West Brom today in what was supposed to be a competitive match. After all, West Brom have already beaten Manchester United at Old Trafford and outplayed league leaders Arsenal at times in a draw, so you gotta think they might have what it takes to challenge Liverpool. They do n...

Ted Cruz Hates Avocados, Is Incapable Of Non-Stupid Opinions

I mean ho-leeeeee shit. This is at least—at least!—2.7 times worse than the time he orchestrated the shutdown of the federal government for no goddamn reason....

President Klitschko? Vitali Klitschko, 42, says he plans to run for president of Ukraine in 2015. He's already the chairman of an opposition party he helped found there and a member of parliament. He's also still the WBC heavyweight champ, which I had to look up. [Boxing Scene]...

Off-Broadway Joe: The Song And Dance Of A Playboy Nearing Middle Age

Originally published in the July 1981 issue of Inside Sports. Reprinted here with the author's permission. For more on Namath, check out this reprint of a frank Playboy interview from 1969....

Cricketer's Girlfriend Caught Pantomiming Sex While Watching Match

Note to current and future cricket WAGs: the camera is always turned on, so be mindful of your, um, gesticulations....

If You Weren't Picturing Mike Milbury Having Group Sex, You Are Now

Last night's "30 for 30" was Big Shot, a look at John Spano, the con man who briefly purchased the Islanders before the NHL realized he didn't have any money. (A similar scenario would play out in Nashville just 11 years later.) The most prurient part was then-GM Mike Milbury recounting how Spano of...

Jose Mourinho Gets Sent Off, Watches Rest Of Match Among Fans

Did Jose Mourinho do something awesome and kind of crazy recently? Of course he did....

LONDON, OCT. 21: Shahid Khan, owner of Fulham F.C. and the Jacksonville Jaguars, enjoys a brief respite from the soul-crushing incompetence of his other team as Fulham defeat Crystal Palace, 4-1. His Jags join him in London next Sunday when they host The 49ers in Wembley. (Julian Finney/Getty)...

One-Armed Basketball Player Commits To Florida

Zach Hodskins is a 6-foot-4, 200-pound high school senior from Milton, Ga. He played well enough on the AAU circuit last summer to get attention from several major college basketball programs. Saturday, Hodskins made a verbal commitment to play for Florida. He also was born with no left arm below t...

Grambling Football Team Ends Boycott; Situation Still A Mess [Updated]

The Grambling football team's boycott in protest of shitty work conditions is now over. But that's not to say all is well. Photos of the football facility that surfaced over the weekend show just how awful things had gotten, and the university has punished two members of the student newspaper for co...

David Wilson Explores Times Square In A Rabbit Head, For Some Reason

Out to prove Victor Cruz isn't the only gifted dancer on the Giants, David Wilson has posted a new video on his Instagram showing off his moves. Did I mention that he's wearing a rabbit head? ...